Who You Are

[DISCLAIMER]

In a blogpost entitled Who Are You? I addressed a scene from the 1951 animated film Alice in Wonderland—based on the novel Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There—in which a caterpillar asks Alice, “Who are you?” Regarding this matter, I stated:

I can’t count how many television shows, films, streaming series, and songs I’ve encountered which contain a similar motif. What may seem like a simple question turns out to be one of the most difficult to answer. Who are you?

As many times as I’ve lost count about how often this motif presents in various forms of media content, I don’t know how frequently I’ve asked people “who are you?” without receiving a response unrelated to merely their name. “I’m Sarah,” an individual may respond.

Over the years, I’ve devoted a significant amount of time to exploring a sufficient answer to this question for my own life. Now, I invite you to consider whether or not you know who you are. Additionally, I eventually delve into this topic regarding the clients with whom I work.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

I invite you to set aside any misconceptions of Stoicism which you’ve likely heard. Instead of subscribing to such misinterpretations, I encourage you to consider wisdom of the Stoics. For instance, on page 20 of The Daily Stoic, the following Marcus Aurelius quote is highlighted:

A person who doesn’t know what the universe is, doesn’t know where they are. A person who doesn’t know their purpose in life doesn’t know who they are or what the universe is. A person who doesn’t know any one of these things doesn’t know why they are here. So what to make of people who seek or avoid the praise of those who have no knowledge of where or who they are?

I imagine that as little as an entire week of contemplation could be devoted to that quote alone, as a means of restructuring one’s life. Of course, such practice would require one to set aside typical methods of escapism which often distract people from considering these matters.

Who has time to think about the wisdom of Aurelius when there’s a virtually endless feed of TikTok content to ingest? Also, why contemplate who you are when you’re too far behind on watching the latest episodes of a multi-season streaming series?

Is it even worth knowing who or where you are when “I’m Sarah, from Brooklyn” is your go-to response in the first place? Regarding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic posit (page 20):

How often are we asked a simple question like “Who are you?” or “What do you do?” or “Where are you from?” Considering it a superficial question—if we even consider it at all—we don’t bother with more than a superficial answer.

Scandalously, regarding the sociopolitical climate of the United States for the last decade or so, people are shamed for asking others questions about from where they originate. Apparently, it’s insensitive to ask “Where are you from?” because it somehow implies that one doesn’t belong.

I reject this approach to living within a society. Those who’ve accepted this illogical and unreasonable framing of socially acceptable norms have inadvertently stifled the exploration of deep philosophical considerations. This is a truly unfortunate outcome, per my view.

If we don’t bother to understand where people come from and who they are, then what point is there in addressing these contemplations regarding our own lives? Contemplatively, authors of The Daily Stoic inquire (page 20):

Have you taken the time to get clarity about who you are and what you stand for? Or are you too busy chasing unimportant things, mimicking the wrong influences, and following disappointing or unfulfilling or nonexistent paths?

Thus far, I’ve briefly explored the matter of who and where one is. Adding to this intriguing matter of self-exploration, the authors invite people to consider what they stand for. Do you even know what morals, ethics, values, or principles you maintain?

Or is it possible that you’re merely Sarah, from Brooklyn, and your personal code doesn’t matter? After all, there are plenty of TikTokers ready to tell you what to think, how to feel, and how to behave, right? Who you are may not matter when you walk a nonexistent path, I suppose.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

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Hollings, D. (2024, November 24). Values. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/values

Hollings, D. (2023, July 11). Who are you? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/who-are-you

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