During my senior year of high school, rapper Jayo Felony released his debut album Take a Ride which featured the song “The Loc is on His Own.” At that time, there was a line on the track that resonated with me.
Having lived in a children’s home, a time after which I was taken in by a family with whom I attended church services, I had little contact with my mom in 1995. In his song, Jayo stated of his attempt to make telephonic contact with his mother when he was incarcerated:
The loc is on his own
I can’t call home, the loc is on his own
Moms was trippin’, she got a blocc on the phone
Like Jayo, I believed that my mom’s behavior was over-reactive, because she wasn’t using logic or reason (also known as “trippin’” when overreactions occur from such irrationality). After all, she didn’t maintain contact with me, akin to having a blocc (“block”) on the phone.
Of course, looking through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) all these years later, I realize that I disturbed myself through use of irrational (illogical and unreasonable) beliefs about my mom’s behavior. Thus, I was trippin’ with beliefs about my mom trippin’.
Almost three decades ago, I knew nothing about the ABC model of REBT that demonstrates how people upset themselves through use of unproductive attitudes about themselves, others, and life. As such, I disturbed myself into an angry disposition with beliefs about my mom’s behavior.
Had I practiced unconditional acceptance (UA) – a helpful REBT technique that acknowledges the fallibility of oneself, others, and life – perhaps the last time that I had contact with my mom wouldn’t have been in ‘95. However, that was precisely the final period of association with her.
My late mom died on September 24, 2021, a day following by birthday. Because I rigorously practice UA, I felt no joy or sorrow with the passing of a woman who subjected me to years of trauma and neglect. Sometimes, moms are subject to trippin’ and that’s just how life is. As well, death is inevitable.
In any case, a few years after the release of his debut album, Jayo released his second anthology entitled Whatcha Gonna Do? The album contained a track called “Whatcha Gonna Do?” which featured Method Man and DMX. Aside from being an ideal track to which one could Crip walk, I enjoyed the hook which states:
I said I can give it to ya, but whatcha gon’ do wit’ it?
I can give it to ya, but whatcha gon’ do?
I can give it to ya, but whatcha gon’ do wit’ it?
I can give it to ya, but wha-wha wha-wha what?
Noteworthy, the hook summarizes my approach to REBT. Aside from use in my personal life (i.e., I practice daily), I’m a professional psychotherapist and life coach who uses psychoeducation to teach the ABC model, UA, and the finer points of REBT theory.
Although people pay me for mental, emotional, and behavioral health care services, I also offer similar instruction through use of my blog – which isn’t intended to substitute adequate behavioral health care or to replace the necessary measure of seeking out one’s own psychotherapist.
Nevertheless, I’ve offered over 900 blog entries to the world – free of charge. Still, success with REBT requires understanding of, belief in, and frequent practice of this psychotherapeutic modality. It’s that last element on which people place a blocc on their proverbial phone.
I can give REBT to people – even free of charge – but what are they gon’ do wit’ it? Understanding the helpful modality isn’t a particularly challenging endeavor. Likewise, one either does or doesn’t believe that REBT can help people get better rather than to merely feel better.
However, when it comes to routine practice of the model, people start trippin’ and put a blocc on the phone. It’s as though they want help, receive assistance, though reject the very guidance they seek. Alas, help-rejecting complainer behavior isn’t something about which I self-disturb with unfavorable beliefs.
I can give it to ya, but whatcha gon’ do wit’ it? Taking personal responsibility and accountability for your own outcomes, you can devote yourself to daily practice of REBT. Or you can continue trippin’ in irrational hope that when you fall you won’t hurt yourself from use of unhelpful beliefs. The choice is yours.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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