Photo credit, property of NBC, ABC, Tandem Productions, and Embassy Television, fair use
Earlier, I listened to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Dom Dolla, as he spun at The Wool Store in Melbourne, Australia. Good gracious, the colossal nature of that venue is truly impressive to me! Oh, the raves to be had in that place! Yet, I digress.
Before I proceed further, forgive me a personal anecdote. In childhood, I watched a lot of television (I mean a lot!). It served as a method of escapism in regard to some of the challenging situations to which I was exposed.
One of the shows I often enjoyed was Diff’rent Strokes, as the sitcom featured characters Arnold and Willis. The former was the younger brother of the latter and the Harlem duo was taken into custody by a Park Avenue businessman along with his daughter.
A running shtick of the program was Arnold’s catchphrase, “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?” which later included other characters on the show. It was an expression of skepticism, disbelief, critical thought, or disputation – all depending on any given scenario featured in the sitcom.
My older sister and I used to recite the line to one another when expressing similar reservations about various matters. Thus, “what you talkin’ ‘bout?” was a phrase with which I grew up.
Noteworthy, in his set, Dom Dolla spun the track “Deceiver” by Chris Lake and Green Velvet. The lyrics repetitively state, “I see your lips movin’, but what you talkin’ ’bout?” When hearing this, I was reminded of Diff’rent Strokes and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
“What you talkin’ ‘bout?” you may ask. Allow me to explain. Predominately, REBT uses two main techniques. When working with clients, I invite them to consider that understanding of, belief in, and routine practice of these psychotherapeutic tools is necessary in order to get better.
First, the ABC model is used to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe some unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption and not the occurrence itself that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This process is called self-disturbance.
As an example, Willis tells Arnold that he’s going to run away (Action) and the younger brother unhelpfully Believes, “We shouldn’t be separated from one another, ‘cause that would be awful,” as Arnold then experiences fear and says, “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?” (Consequence).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Noteworthy, Actions and Consequences aren’t Disputed, as only unproductive Beliefs are challenged.
For instance, one could Dispute Arnold’s unfavorable fear-inducing Belief when discussing the impermanence and uncertainty of life. Likewise, challenge to his assumption could address that although it’s undesirable that Willis has chosen to leave, it isn’t terrible, horrible, or awful.
Second, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Thus, Arnold could acknowledge his limited control and influence in regard to Willis and life in general, opting to unconditionally tolerate and accept unexpected events rather than to self-disturb over such matters. Ergo, the younger brother could be disappointed rather than afraid.
Of course, when I advocate use of the ABC model and to some people, it’s as though they’re internally saying, “I see your lips movin’, but what you talkin’ ’bout?” Some individuals, whether consciously or not, simply choose to self-disturb rather than to live rationally.
Shifting from an EDM to a hip hop track, it’s as if such people internalize The Notorious B.I.G.’s line, “Your style is played out, like Arnold on that, ‘What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?” from his song “The What” and which features Method Man of the Wu-Tang Clan.
To that, I reply with Method Man’s line on the track, “Everything ya get, ya got to work hard for it!” While I can appreciate an expression of skepticism, disbelief, critical thought, or disputation – all depending on any given scenario – if you want to get better, you’ll need to practice REBT.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost EDM and hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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