Long before learning about Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), when beginning the practice of life coaching in adolescence, I recognized a tendency for people to resist (to exert oneself so as to counteract or defeat) my efforts to help them even though they sought my assistance.
Once I began practicing REBT in adulthood, I better understood the process of resistance—a psychological defense mechanism wherein a client rejects, denies, or otherwise opposes the therapeutic efforts of a psychotherapist. This phenomenon occurs quite frequently.
Regarding this matter, page 198 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion states, “Help your clients to see that what they resist usually persists.” For instance, opposing the efforts of a life coach or therapist may allow the problem for which one seeks help to inevitably persist.
The late psychologist Albert Ellis who developed REBT issued a recommendatory should statement concerning resistance that could lead to persistence by stating:
REBT has always stressed that much of our disturbing is unconsciously motivated but that the implicit thinking that creates it is largely just below the conscious level, not deeply repressed, and can be figured out on theoretical grounds, brought to consciousness, and then intentionally changed.
But it also holds that conscious control of unconscious behaving requires not mere insight into the fact that implicit philosophizing leads to disturbing feelings and actions, but that this insight will not in itself change behaving. In addition, one had better see that persistent work and practice is required to change and keep changing thinking, feeling, and acting.
Suggesting that one “better see that persistent work and practice is required” is akin to non-absolutistically recommending that a person should, must, or ought to commit to the process of change. This affords an individual at least three foreseeable options in regard to getting better:
1. Resist help and committed practice of REBT while the problem will usually persist.
2. Understand, believe in, and frequently practice REBT until the problem no longer persists.
3. Halfheartedly attempt REBT techniques as the problem fluctuates from persistence to discontinuation and back again.
If what you resist usually persists, then resisting use of REBT will likely result in continuation of a problem that isn’t in alignment with your interests and goals. If you’re ready to stop resisting a healthy option so that you may actually get better, I look forward to hearing from you.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
AEI. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/
Benzoix. (n.d.). Disgusted woman steps back raising hands defensive avoiding something rejecting and refusing offer [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/disgusted-woman-steps-back-raising-hands-defensive-avoiding-something-rejecting-refusing-offer_146539617.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=6&uuid=ecd5faff-775c-44de-8272-dde631aa7e36
Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. ISBN 0-917476-26-3. Library of Congress Control Number: 20031044378
Ellis, A. (2002). Overcoming resistance: A rational emotive behavior therapy integrated approach (2nd ed.). Springer Publishing Company. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/overcoming-resistance-a-rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-integrated-approach-d161735337.html
Hollings, D. (2024, May 22). A philosophical approach to mental health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-philosophical-approach-to-mental-health
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Denial. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/denial
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, May 27). Intellectual vs. emotional insight. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/intellectual-vs-emotional-insight
Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2024, April 9). Shoulding at the supermarket. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/shoulding-at-the-supermarket
Hollings, D. (2024, January 16). Understanding, belief, and practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/understanding-belief-and-practice
Hollings, D. (2022, August 8). Was Freud right? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/was-freud-right