What's the Big Idea?

[DISCLAIMER]

Photo credit, Everett Collection, fair use

In childhood, I enjoyed watching reruns of shows featuring The Three Stooges who were a vaudeville and comedy team active from 1922 until 1970. Something about slapstick depictions of the various characters assaulting and battering one another was funny to me.

Often, members of The Three Stooges would question the intentions of one another by asking, “What’s the big idea?” or “What’s the idea?” This form of questioning was another way of inquiring about the goals, cognitive processes, or assumptions of others.

As an example, imagine that John Doe discovers his wife Jane Doe has been engaged in an extramarital affair for the past year. When verbally confronting his spouse, John says, “We took a vow of monogamy, so what’s the big idea with you breaking our promise to one another?”

A somewhat dated saying, asking “what’s the big idea?” is likely to be expressed in common parlance as “what on earth were you thinking?” or “what the fuck was going through your head?” Asking these questions is a method by which one’s logic and reason is assessed.

Still, as I learned in childhood from The Three Stooges, assessment of a person’s logical and reasonable intentions doesn’t necessarily suffice in a moment of disbelief. Simply because Jane pleads her case for justification doesn’t mean that John will concur with her expressed reasons.

Besides, regarding The Three Stooges characters Larry and Moe, Moe didn’t merely concur with Larry’s articulated reason for why the latter bonked the former on the head. After all, one’s own big idea may not be considered rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) by others.

For context, an “idea” is merely a formulated thought or opinion. Consequently, “ideation” refers to the capacity for or the act of forming or entertaining ideas. Sometimes people disturb themselves with beliefs about such ideas. I suspect you aren’t unfamiliar with this experience.

Using my approach to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I assist people with understanding the distinction between description and prescription in regard to their big ideas. Comprehending this difference can significantly impact relationships of various types.

“Description” relates to a thought or discourse intended to give a mental image of something experienced, as to represent by a figure, model, or picture. For instance, herein, I’ve described a scenario in which a husband discovers that his wife has been cheating on him.

“Prescription” regards the action of laying down authoritative rules or directions. From an REBT standpoint, rigid prescriptions often manifest in the form of demandingness narratives which are present in unwavering “should,” “must,” and, “ought” types of ideas, beliefs, or statements.

Whereas I’ve described how Jane was unfaithful to John, a prescription would occur if the latter said, “You absolutely shouldn’t have been disloyal!” The merit and utility of John’s belief are disputable. Nevertheless, another distinction is warranted when discussing big ideas herein.

A “belief” is a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing, as the matter relates to something that is accepted or considered to be true. Alternatively, a “thought” is little more than something (such as an idea or opinion) in the mind.

Whereas a thought is descriptive, a belief tends to be prescriptive. In John’s case, his big idea is that Jane will remain faithful to him. He lives from this day to the next thinking this is the proper function of marriage. In and of itself, this mental process doesn’t evoke an unpleasant outcome.

It’s when John’s descriptive big idea of marriage comes into conflict with Jane’s behavior that his then prescriptive belief causes self-disturbance. In REBT, the ABC model demonstrates this belief-consequence connection when John’s big idea transitions into an irrational belief.

Helpfully, a client represented in the book Creative Marriage suggests “that an idea is nothing but something you keep telling yourself, repeating to yourself over and over until you come to believe it heartily, even though there may be no truth to it at all” (page 163).

Even if you concur with John’s big idea regarding monogamy and marital vows, this flexible description of life isn’t as impactful as an inflexible prescription regarding how things must be. The latter cognitive process is what creates psychologically assaultive and battering reactions.

Ergo, asking “what’s the big idea?” may not provide sufficient justification for another person’s behavior, and use of inflexible prescriptions isn’t entirely helpful either. Thus, you can stop disturbing yourself by discontinuing use of unhelpful ideas and beliefs.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). The Three Stooges. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Three_Stooges