Walking on Broken Glass

[DISCLAIMER]

For whatever reason, “Walking on Broken Glass” by Annie Lennox, from her 1992 debut studio album Diva, popped into my head this morning. Admittedly, Lennox’s powerful voice echoed through my mind during various times in the ‘90s, as I consider her a true vocal talent.

Regarding the track, one source states, “Like so many Eurythmics’ best records, it takes an incredibly depressing concept—romantic abandonment—and maps it onto an irresistibly danceable tune.” Given this description, I suspect that many people can relate to the song.

More importantly, I maintain that “Walking on Broken Glass” may serve as a psychoeducational lesson for practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). To begin this exercise, I present the first verse of the song:

You were the sweetest thing

That I ever knew

But I don’t care for sugar, honey

If I can’t have you

Since you abandoned me

My whole life has crashed

Won’t you pick the pieces up

‘Cause it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass

To properly examine content of the first verse, it may be useful to know how REBT functions. In particular, it’s worth understanding the distinction between an Action-Consequence (A-C) connection and a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection, as they pertain to self-disturbance.

REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Action occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant cognitive, emotive, sensational, and behavioral effects as Consequences.

As an example, in “Walking on Broken Glass,” Lennox expresses that she was “abandoned” by her lover (Action) and mistakenly presumes that this resulted in her whole life having crashed (Consequence). Inaccurately, she subscribes to an A-C perspective of life.

However, REBT maintains that when one is abandoned in an intimate partner relationship (Action) and one unhelpfully Believes, “This shouldn’t have happened and it’s awful that it did, because I can’t stand that life without my lover is worthless,” then a B-C connection will result.

In the natural world, walking on broken glass (Action) may result in pain and bleeding (Consequence). Yet, from a psychological perspective, when Lennox uses unfavorable Beliefs she then experiences unpleasant bodily sensations and emotions (Consequence).

Rather than self-disturbing in this manner, Lennox could try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that’s used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, Lennox could learn to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.

Helpfully, REBT also uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

As I’ve illustrated how Lennox self-disturbed through use of a B-C connection, it may be useful to expand upon use of the UA technique. Continuing with this psychoeducational exercise, I present the second verse of “Walking on Broken Glass”:

The sun’s still shining in the big blue sky

But it don’t mean nothing to me

Oh-woah, let the rain come down

Let the wind blow through me

I’m living in an empty room

With all the windows smashed

And I’ve got so little left to lose

That it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass

Self-disturbed through use of a B-C connection, Lennox could un-disturb herself by confronting her self-downing narrative when using USA. In specific, she could admit that she’s a fallible human being who isn’t broken due to her lover having apparently decided to abandon her.

Similarly, Lennox could practice UOA by acknowledging the imperfection of her former intimate partner. Perhaps that individual had unidentified issues on which to work and which had little or nothing at all to do with Lennox.

Additionally, the vocalist could use ULA by admitting that life is an impermanent and uncertain experience that’s riddled with faultiness. Although we may prefer for people to remain with us until we inevitably die, perhaps more often than not they simply choose to leave us. That’s okay.

Having outlined how the ABC model and UA function, I wonder if you’re ready to practice REBT on your own. How about I issue a pop quiz on what you’ve learned thus far and then a final test to ascertain whether or not you understand this lesson? For the quiz, consider the bridge of “Walking on Broken Glass”:

And if you’re trying to cut me down

You know that I might bleed

‘Cause if you’re trying to cut me down

I know that you’ll succeed

And if you want to hurt me

There’s nothing left to fear

‘Cause if you want to hurt me

You’re doing really well my dear

All right, what’d you come up with? Presuming that Lennox could take personal ownership for her reaction to having apparently been abandoned, and without playing the role of victim by blaming her former lover for her response to the breakup, how has Lennox self-disturbed?

Admittedly, I’ve issued a trick question. This is because I inserted the answer into the query. Lennox essentially used an A-C perspective to lay ownership of her unpleasant consequence at the feet of her former lover, thus assuming a victimhood role. Okay, time for the final test using the last verse of the song:

Now every one of us was made to suffer

Every one of us was made to weep

But we’ve been hurting one another

And now the pain has cut too deep

So take me from the wreckage

Save me from the blast

Lift me up and take me back

Don’t let me keep on walking (don’t let me keep on walking)

I can’t keep on walking (keep on walking on)

Keep on walking on broken glass

Given what you likely understand about REBT by this point in the blogpost, how has Lennon self-disturbed? For extra credit, how can she un-disturb herself? Do you know? If you’d like the answers to this exam, I look forward to hearing from you. Otherwise, I hope you don’t “keep on walking on broken glass.”

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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