Not long after completing graduate (“grad”) studies in counseling (2009-2011), during which I focused on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I gained employment at a behavioral and developmental health clinic. Given the above-featured photo, that wasn’t all that I’d gained.
Having been discharged from the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps in 2007, I lost the self-ascribed purpose and meaning that I maintained since having joined the military in 1996. By “purpose,” I’m referring to what one does. By “meaning,” I’m referencing the value derived from fulfilling one’s purpose.
I’d planned on retiring from active duty service, though that wasn’t possible after receiving an unfavorable discharge from the Marines. Noteworthy, many of the issues which I faced in the Corps were incurred in childhood, from repeated traumatic experiences, and aggravated by military service.
Lacking purpose and meaning following my discharge, I also began experiencing significant problems with my mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”). Therefore, I made the decision to seek help through the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA).
The go-to strategy at that time was to prescribe veterans with psychopharmacological interventions (i.e., medications) while referring patients to individual and group psychotherapy sessions (i.e., counseling). I accepted the former though rejected the latter.
Instead of relying on another person to offer a cathartic experience through talk therapy (i.e., feeling better), I wanted to actually get better. This is why I chose to study REBT when in grad school, because I wanted to become my own mechanic, of sorts.
In general terms, REBT affords an individual the opportunity to employ a self-help strategy to rational living through use of the ABC model and unconditional acceptance. However, mere understanding of and belief in REBT isn’t enough to bring about lasting and effective change.
I spent almost two years studying this psychotherapeutic modality, though I was lacking a crucial element necessary for success with my mental health interests and goals: practice. Illogically and unreasonably (collectively “irrationally”), I concluded that medication could resolve the issues I experienced.
Besides, routine practice of REBT was hard. Medication intervention strategies were relatively easy. At one point, I was prescribed just fewer than 20 different clinical intervention strategies (i.e., medications, continuous positive airway pressure machine, topical ointments, etc.). That was easy.
Yet, easy doesn’t always yield healthy results. This brings me to the point in the photo for this blogpost wherein I weighed approximately 260 pounds. At that time, my VA provider was a straightforward physician who was also a retired U.S. Army officer. She wrote in my VA file:
Patient continues to be obese. He has gained quite a bit of weight. He is fairly frustrated with the weight gain. I spent the bulk of visit talking to him about his weight.
Some of his weight gain can be explained by his psychiatric medications, but the rest of it is that he is just not eating right and he is not exercising.
I did explain to him today that unless he started to exercise and watch his diet, he would continue and continued to gain weight [sic], and I did advise him that not all of his weight gain just can just be blamed on his psychiatric medications.
Despite having studied, understood, and believed in REBT for two years when in grad school, I neglected practice of this helpful modality. In specific, I abandoned the teaching of the late psychologist who developed REBT, Albert Ellis, who stated (page 31):
We are born and reared to be highly suggestible. And we often have difficulty looking at what we call reality, accepting many of its grim aspects, and taking responsibility for many of the bad things that happen to us. We prefer to blame other people and events for these happenings; and although we are partly right about this, we are also often self-deluded.
I was partially correct in maintaining that with use of psychiatric medications, weight gain is often a known iatrogenic side effect—an adverse outcome from medical care. Nevertheless, my medications didn’t force me to overeat. I did that on my own. As such, I was quite unhealthy.
Despite whatever bitching, whining, moaning, or complaining I used toward my VA provider, it wasn’t the Veterans Heath Administration that caused me to be unhealthy. I knew this deep down, though I didn’t take personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) for my condition.
Therefore, in 2011, after having gained employment at a behavioral and developmental health clinic, I’d also gained 71 pounds since 2007, when I was discharged from the military. That was unhealthy and I don’t care which “body positivity” or “fat acceptance” activists suggest otherwise.
Even more disappointing was that I provided assistance to other people who were seeking to become healthier. This was a case of the unhealthy leading the unhealthy, meaning I was living an unhealthy lifestyle while influencing others to adopt healthy habits. I wasn’t fooling anyone.
My unhealthy assistance to others was obvious and I knew it. Because I was headed toward a more serious physiological or psychological outcome, something needed to change. That something was the routine practice of REBT that I’d neglected.
It took quite some time to become proficient, because I often got in my own way. For instance, when going through grad school for social work (2012-2014), I self-disturbed far more than I wish I had.
Although it would’ve been easy to have blamed the radical feminists with whom I attended school for the manner in which I reacted, they weren’t responsible for my unhealthy attitude or nonadaptive behavior. That was all me!
Only when I devoted daily practice to the ABC model and unconditional acceptance did I move from being unhealthy to healthy. As an example, and not that weight is as important to me as how I feel emotionally and regarding bodily sensations, I currently weigh around 180 pounds.
Now when I treat and manage client issues, I’m not functioning from a place of hypocrisy – like an obese counselor using psychoeducation with people in regard to physical and mental health fitness. As such, I’m operating from a place of healthy assistance.
Within my blog, I frequently discuss how difficult it can be to commit oneself to dedicated practice of REBT. This is because I’m someone who’s been on both sides of the proverbial table. I’ve been unhealthy while wanting to get better. Now, I’m healthy and choosing to remain better.
Perhaps you’re in a similar place in life as I once was, understanding and believing in a method to attain a healthy standard of wellness, though not taking personal ownership of your life. I get it; truly, I do. Nevertheless, you don’t have to stay unhealthy. If you’d like to know more, I’m here to try to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
AEI. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/
Ellis, A. (2003). How to make yourself happy and remarkably less disturbable. Impact Publishers. Retrieved from https://archive.org/details/howtomakeyoursel00elli
Hollings, D. (2024, October 18). ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/abc-model
Hollings, D. (2022, November 18). Big T, little t. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/big-t-little-t
Hollings, D. (2024, June 2). Blame. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/blame
Hollings, D. (2024, November 10). Catharsis. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/catharsis
Hollings, D. (2024, June 13). Change feels strange. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/change-feels-strange
Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation
Hollings, D. (2024, January 7). Delusion. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/delusion
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, February 9). Feminism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feminism
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, December 9). I tried. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/i-tried
Hollings, D. (2023, October 15). I’m my own mechanic. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/i-m-my-own-mechanic
Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason
Hollings, D. (2024, August 8). Managing and treating symptoms. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/managing-and-treating-symptoms
Hollings, D. (2023, March 21). Matching bracelets. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/matching-bracelets
Hollings, D. (2022, June 23). Meaningful purpose. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/meaningful-purpose
Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health
Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude
Hollings, D. (2024, June 2). Nonadaptive behavior. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/nonadaptive-behavior
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth
Hollings, D. (2022, November 7). Personal ownership. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-ownership
Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice
Hollings, D. (2023, November 23). Problems. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/problems
Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living
Hollings, D. (2024, March 14). REBT and emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-and-emotions
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2024, June 5). Self-help. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-help
Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna
Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux
Hollings, D. (2024, January 16). Understanding, belief, and practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/understanding-belief-and-practice
Hollings, D. (2024, September 29). Well, well, well. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/well-well-well
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