I can’t recall exactly when I first heard it or the precise version to which I was initially introduced, though at some point in my past I enjoyed the electronic dance music (EDM) song “Turn It Around.” Lyrics include:
Turn it around, baby
Spend more time with me
Try to believe you
Try to believe you
Turn it around, baby
Spend more time with me
It’s getting insane, I know
Let it not be true
Turn it around baby
Turn it around
I need you
I can only be myself with you
I need you
I can only be myself with you
I can only be myself
Written by Dutch DJ and producer Carlo Resoort, one version of “Turn It Around” features the vocals of Alena Lova. This version reminds me of the club scene in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil at the turn of the millennium. Notably, a number of Rio DJ’s remixed the track.
Another version of “Turn It Around,” by 4 Strings, features the vocals of Susanne Teutenberg. This version reminds me of my transition from San Diego, California to Amarillo, Texas after beginning voluntary appellate leave following a special court-martial.
The former version reflects joy while the latter once echoed sorrow. As such, “Turn It Around” was a bittersweet song to me for quite some time. Inopportunely, I didn’t know about Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) regarding the unhealthy negative emotions I experienced in association with my court-martial and which influenced my perception of the track.
For context, REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance (LFT), and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, when a fellow military police (MP) officer used excessive force when placing me in handcuffs (Action), I subsequently developed bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome (Consequence). There was a direct A-C connection between cuffing and physical injury.
Nevertheless, when I unhelpfully Believed, “That shouldn’t have happened to me, because MPs ought to treat each other with dignity,” I self-disturbed into an angry disposition (Consequence). As such, I upset myself with a B-C connection.
When using REBT, I help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. For instance, I can’t travel back into time and prevent actions which led to my military apprehension.
This is where the lyrics of “Turn It Around” are relevant to my situation. I irrationally believed that as an MP I was owed some form of respect from fellow law enforcement officers. Thus, for years following my arrest and court-martial I tortured myself with beliefs about my legal issues.
As though I was speaking to myself, when cognitively dwelling on the unfavorable event, I desperately demanded to “turn it around.” However, the ABC model isn’t a magical wheel that affords one an opportunity to rewind time.
Once I learned of, understood, believed in, and began frequent practice of REBT, it was as though I instead told myself, “Turn it around, Deric; spend more time with disputation. Try to believe you have the ability to change how you feel. Try to believe you can get better.”
Thus, rational self-talk, using lyrics from “Turn It Around” helped to reduce self-disturbance. I was encouraged to admit, “It’s getting insane, I know. Let it not be true that you’ll keep yourself imprisoned within a cognitive and emotive pen so long after you left the Marine Corps.”
Helpfully, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Therefore, self-talk from a UA perspective resulted in me saying to myself, “I need you to let go of the past. I can only be myself within the present. Turn it around, Deric. Accept without conditions. Turn it around.”
“Turn It Around” was once a bittersweet song to me. However, I’m no longer cuffed by the past; no longer imprisoned in a cognitive and emotive prison of my own making.
Now, I enjoy the 2019 version of “Turn It Around,” by Van Duo, with its tempo flaws and all, as though there never was an unpleasant memory associated with the track. Essentially, I found a way to remix my life – much as “Turn It Around” has been remixed throughout the years.
Perhaps you, too, have experienced unpleasant actions while disturbing yourself with unhelpful beliefs. Would you like to know more about how to proverbially remix your life so that you may get better by unshackling yourself? If so, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s original EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit (edited), fair use
References:
Dance Division, The. (2018, May 6). 4 Strings Turn It Around [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/MbhJ0NC7yKI?si=yKIRgLIaomQgsjD6
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Discogs. (n.d.). Van Duo – Turn It Around. Retrieved from https://www.discogs.com/es/release/13162563-VAN-DUO-Turn-It-Around
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