Professional practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) involves persuasiveness. This is especially important when using psychoeducation with a client in regard to the ABC model and unconditional acceptance. As an example, imagine the following dialogue:
Client: REBT makes sense from an intellectual perspective. However, it doesn’t feel as though it’ll work for me.
Me: A feeling is either an emotion such as joy or a bodily sensation such as tingling in your legs. When using the word “feel” as you do, I think you may be alluding to a thought, belief, suspicion, hunch, or some other cognitive versus emotive or sensory experience.
Client: Right. I don’t believe REBT will work for me.
Me: There are no certainties I can give you about this psychotherapeutic modality. Generally, I find that people who are successful with REBT understand, believe in, and frequently practice it – and I mean daily engagement. If you understand though don’t believe REBT will work for you, I doubt you’ll devote yourself to practice. What do you think?
Client: Perhaps you’re right. I mean, I want to believe it in. I just get in my head about how unfair it is that I’ll take the steps to change while other people aren’t doing the same. Why should I work on myself when I’m not the only one involved in the problem?
Me: Remember the circles of control, influence, and concern we discussed? They’re aligned with unconditional self-, other-, and life-acceptance. Likewise, recall the four major irrational beliefs recognized in REBT: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Which of these circles, acceptance elements, and beliefs are inferred in your self-disturbed question?
Client: Well, I’m misapplying the circle of control in regard that of influence. In all honesty, that places an unnecessary condition on others. In so doing, I’m not unconditionally accepting other people for the fallible human beings they are. Additionally, I should all over myself and others. You know, I’m upsetting myself with unhelpful beliefs and by not practicing unconditional acceptance. I need to get out of my own way!
[Gratuitously and lengthy vinyl record scratch]
If only all my client sessions unfolded in a logical and reasonable manner as that example! In reality, sessions sometimes playout thusly:
Client: I don’t believe REBT will work for me.
Me: I can’t offer any guarantees for success. Generally, if you apply yourself and practice outside of session you may have success with this modality. What do you think?
Client: I dunno. Maybe I’m looking for something a little easier.
Me: [Thinking: We’ve been working together for too long than for you to expect an easier process. You should know that by now!]
Although I’m an REBT practitioner, I’m neither a perfect human being nor an infallible psychotherapist. I maintain irrational beliefs, just as my clients do.
Regarding this matter, page 232 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion (“Pocket Companion”) invites REBT practitioners to honestly acknowledge to ourselves the irrational beliefs we maintain and to accept ourselves for holding them. Acknowledgement and acceptance are the first steps to rational practice.
The next step relates to rigorously challenging unhelpful assumptions. We unconditionally accept ourselves as imperfect beings while committedly disputing unproductive beliefs.
Just as professional practice of REBT involves persuasiveness, personal practice of the modality includes convincingness. Therefore, I cannot simply challenge my irrational beliefs with a nonsensical dispute such as, “Trust me, bro.” I need to present compelling arguments.
For instance, why should clients know, accept, or practice the elements of REBT which I share with them? Clients are only within my circle of influence, as they remain self-determined and autonomous beings. They don’t have to know, accept, or practice REBT if they choose not to.
If you ask, “How did you arrive at this conclusion, Deric?” I’m not going to cite evidence from Trust Me, Bro at the Institute of Me. Instead, I’m appealing to truth and reality. I have zero control over my clients, as this places them within my circle of influence.
Likewise, self-determination is free choice of one’s own acts without external compulsion. Autonomy is self-directing freedom and especially moral independence. Therefore, clients are free to be ignorant of, reject, or neglect use of REBT if they so choose.
Also and because I’m a fallible REBT practitioner, I remain aware of how there’s no absolutistic demand that declares I must be rational, per 233 of the Pocket Companion. Similarly, clients aren’t held to an absolute requirement in regard to rational living.
Therefore, I invite people to practice rational thinking, as indicated in the ideal client session example up above. However, I flexibly use unconditional acceptance of myself as a flawed individual and I do the same with imperfect clients when practicing REBT.
Trust me, bro, it’s not worth self-disturbing with unhelpful beliefs when people who are prone to err inevitably make mistakes. This includes me, clients, and you. Sometimes persuasion works and at other times it doesn’t.
This, too, is how life works. Sometimes we’re successful at accomplishing tasks and at other times we aren’t. How will you react when faced with your own fallibility? If you’d like to know more about a realistic – rather than idealistic – approach to rational living, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Bro, T. M. (n.d.). Trust me, bro. The Institute of Me.
Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-rebt-therapists-pocket-companion-d185164652.html
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being
Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, April 27). Ideal-world vs. real-world. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ideal-world-vs-real-world
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason
Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance
Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth
Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice
Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living
Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous
Hollings, D. (2024, May 26). Self-determination and autonomy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-determination-and-autonomy
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2023, May 12). Stop shoulding everywhere. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stop-shoulding-everywhere
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2024, January 16). Understanding, belief, and practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/understanding-belief-and-practice
Kues1. (n.d.). Blond businessman happy expression [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/blond-businessman-happy-expression_1030378.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=50&uuid=46cd0dda-e463-45e4-877a-2ef08b880a33
Comments