When enlisting in the Marine Corps in 1996, and regarding many topics concerning the treatment of United States (U.S.) military personnel, I was ignorant—lacking knowledge or comprehension. I simply didn’t know what I didn’t know.
Partially rebelling against my early upbringing under Jehovah’s Witnesses doctrine and a former hippie dad, my ignorance of U.S. precedent toward military members wasn’t a factor in my decision to sign up for the military occupational specialty of military police (MP).
As such, I knew nothing of the reportedly “tens of thousands of troops were used in testing conducted by the U.S. military between 1922 and 1975.” One remains uncertain as to the counterfactual argument concerning whether or not I would’ve joined had I known.
In any case, after completing U.S. Marine Corps Recruit Training and Marine Combat Training, I was assigned to the U.S. Army MP and Chemical School Training Center in Fort McClellan, located adjacent to the city of Anniston, Alabama, as part of MP graduating class 05-97.
According to information from the Disabled American Veterans:
Although the base closed in 1999, the 2005 National Academy of Medicine report, Contaminants in the Subsurface: Source Zone Assessment and Remediation, recognized that both the groundwater and soil were contaminated. There were 67 different disposal sites on Fort McClellan containing volatile organic compounds (VOCs), trichloroethylene (TCEs), PCBs [polychlorinated biphenyls], semi-volatile organic compound (SVOCs), pesticides, explosives, heavy metals (Pb), unexploded ordinance (UXO), radioactive sources and non-stockpile chemical materials.
When undergoing MP training, I was exposed to groundwater and soil contamination. Other Marines and I literally crawled along the ground when practicing field maneuvers, spent a lengthy amount of time in outdoor environments, and we did so with ignorance of our plight.
After returning from a field exercise, I developed an itchy rash on the outside of my right calf. The wound was warm to the touch, had a reddish tint, and there was a throbbing sensation radiating throughout my leg.
When I showed my calf to a staff noncommissioned officer, he replied, “You’re going to medical!” Sickbay commandos, as they were pejoratively called back then, were military members who sought medical attention rather than toughing out whatever ailed them.
I didn’t want to be viewed as one of these “weak links,” as they were also termed. However, I was given an order by a senior Marine and I obeyed accordingly, as it was nearing the close of business when I presented to the front desk of the Fort McClellan medical unit.
The receptionist initially tried to persuade me to come back the following day. However, when I revealed my wound, which was about the circumference of a softball by that point, she hurried to a separate office and made contact with a medical provider.
“What bit you?” the attending physician asked. A high school friend of mine was once bitten by a brown recluse spider, which she said she never felt, and her wound led to severe consequences. For years afterward, my friend experienced immune-related complications.
With that information, as the doctor inquired about a bite, I disturbed myself into a fearful disposition with unhelpful beliefs about the situation. You may wonder about what I mean when suggesting that I upset myself.
Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance (LFT), and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful attitudes in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, if a venomous spider bites you (Action), you may develop a potentially dangerous reaction (Consequence). In the natural world, and regarding an A-C connection, a brown recluse bite (Action) can cause serious symptoms (Consequence).
However, when the physician inquired about a potential bite (Action) and I unhelpfully Believed, “This shouldn’t be the result of a brown recluse bite, because it would be awful to go through what my friend experienced,” then I disturb myself into an fearful disposition (Consequence).
With understanding of the B-C consequence connection, you can imagine how much I disturbed myself once the doctor said, “I’ll need to lance this immediately,” regarding the tender wound on my calf. My beliefs about an unscheduled and urgent surgical procedure weren’t productive.
A biosample was obtained and sent off for testing, though the doctor admitted that he didn’t think my wound was caused by a bite after all. In his clinical opinion, the “cyst” was an unexplained phenomenon which he addressed by cutting and draining the wound.
To my knowledge at the time, aside from traumatic brain injury (TBI) events, the cyst I developed at Fort McClellan was the only significant medical issue I experienced during MP training. Peculiarly, for around two years thereafter, I kept developing lesions on my body.
Following my time at Fort McClellan, I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan. There, intermittent bumps would pop up throughout my body. They itched, were warm to the touch, and they all had the same reddish tint to them as I originally had during MP training.
Because I didn’t want to be a sickbay commando, I lanced the bumps on my own. However, one large wound appeared on my left forearm and I was concerned that it was too big for popping with a sterilized needle. It was larger than the usual pimple-sized cysts to which I was used.
Foolishly, I allowed it to fester. Seeing the obnoxiously large infected area, a noncommissioned officer ordered me to seek medical treatment. “What bit you?” a Navy corpsman asked when examining the wound. Using a B-C connection, I self-disturbed about the matter.
“We could’ve fit a golf ball in that hole,” another corpsman told me after the wound was lanced, drained, and packed with gauze. Because the wound required regular care, I was labelled a “broke dick” by some of my fellow MPs—a pejorative term for an injured male service member.
In my medical record, my wounds were referred to as either a “cyst” or “abscess,” as laboratory testing revealed no meaningful information. It wasn’t until many years after I was discharged from active duty military service that I learned about other military personnel also experiencing illnesses and injuries from their time at Fort McClellan.
Before I go any further, forgive me a pedantic point of clarification. The three-syllable word “veteran” is pronounced: veh-tr-uhn, not vet-truhn. This term applies to people who served in the active military, naval, or air service, and who were discharged or released therefrom under conditions other than dishonorable.
Inconsequential point of clarification aside, one 2013 source, entitled Toxic Vets: The poisonous legacy of Fort McClellan stated the following:
Even if you never heard of the base [Fort McClellan], the name of the community may ring a bell. In 2003, chemical giant Monsanto settled a case with more than 20,000 residents of the town [Anniston] for $700 million dollars.
The suit alleged the company, now operating locally as Solutia, contaminated the water, soil and air so thoroughly and so recklessly with PCB’s and other toxins for decades, 60 Minutes and others have called the area the most toxic place on the planet.
One of the others making that claim is the EPA [Environmental Protection Agency], which has listed the community at the top of its Superfund Sites in need of cleanup.
According to the veteran rumor mill, I was told that veterans weren’t included in the litigation process, because military personnel were assigned to Fort McClellan in an official capacity and could leave the area. Citizens of Anniston, on the other hand, ostensibly had no other recourse.
According to information from the American Legion, “No veterans were included in the litigation, likely because the attorneys who sued Monsanto focused on civilians who lived in neighborhoods closest to the manufacturing plant and had the highest PCB levels in their blood.”
Aside from personal health issues, I know of one female MP with whom I served whose child has birth defects. Other MPs have also shared stories with me about peculiar illnesses without family histories regarding their symptoms.
Another female and former military member who was stationed in Fort McClellan, and with whom I worked at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), needed her thyroid removed due to toxicity. Still, per one source:
Veterans say PCBs landed on the base, but VA says they did not, and that if soldiers were affected, it was due to time spent in the adjacent town of Anniston – meaning the VA is not liable.
Prior to learning about REBT, when hearing testimonies about various injuries and illnesses presumably linked to military service on Fort McClellan, I disturbed myself with a B-C connection. For context, one source reports the following correlative medical conditions:
PCBs
· Skin conditions like acne and rashes
· Liver/stomach/thyroid damage
· Cancer of the liver and biliary tract
· Immune system changes
· Behavioral alterations
· Impaired reproduction
Mustard Gas
· Increased risk of lung and respiratory cancer
· Chronic respiratory disease or repeated respiratory infections
Agent Orange
· Type II Diabetes
· Parkinson’s disease (Parkinsonism)
· Hodgkin’s disease
· Lymphomas
· Leukemias
· Myelomas
· Hyperthyroidism
· Early onset peripheral neuropathy
· Prostate and respiratory cancers
Agent Blue (an arsenic herbicide)
· Increased risk of cancers of the lung, bladder, skin, kidney, liver, and prostate
Radioactive Compounds like Cobalt (Co-60), Cesium (Cs-137), Uranium and Plutonium
· Cellular damage or changes to genetic material
· Increased risk of several forms of cancer
Nerve Gas Agents
· Symptoms like abdominal pain or tightness in the chest, diarrhea, nausea, headaches, vomiting, twitching muscles, and vision problems
· Increased risk of chronic respiratory issues
· Increased risk of respiratory cancers
Ignorance regarding U.S. government treatment of military members led me to the Corps and ignorance of REBT resulted in self-upset correlated with medical issues from my time in the Corps. Early on, I thought that TBI and skin disorders were the only negative results from my service in Fort McClellan.
However, I’ve experienced liver, behavioral issues, respiratory, peripheral neuropathy, and headaches – all conditions reflected in my post-service medical record, and some of which are contained in my in-service documentation. In fact, I’ve undergone radical medical procedures to address some of these issues.
Many of VA and non-governmental physicians haven’t understood many of my medical conditions. Regarding chronic pain, breathing issues, and what ostensibly amounts to medical guinea-pigging from attending physicians, I once self-disturbed with a B-C connection.
“Life shouldn’t be this difficult,” “It’s awful to be in constant pain,” “I can’t stand how the VA treats toxic vets,” and, “The U.S. government is worthless” are all examples – respectively – of demandingness, awfulizing, LFT, and global evaluation which I once used to upset myself.
How did self-disturbance serve my interests and goals? As an example, I had an interest in improving my level of pain tolerance and overall health with a goal to alter my level of self-care to satisfy that desire.
Being that I can control only myself, I may be able to influence other people, and I have no significant control or influence regarding most matters in life, how were my unhelpful beliefs about the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD), the VA, or life in general going to help me achieve success with interests and goals? They weren’t.
It was irrational (illogical and unreasonable) to self-disturb about matters over which I had so little (if any) control or influence. For instance, I couldn’t go back in time and prevent myself from being exposed to toxins in Fort McClellan.
Likewise, the DoD and VA are complex systems which I wasn’t likely to change in any meaningful way. Therefore, shifting my focus from influence and concern, I chose to devote attention to controlling my reaction to beliefs about my situation when learning of REBT.
Helpfully, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
In this regard, I adopted a Stoic approach to the pursuit of my interests and goals. Using this method, I stopped favoring victimhood narratives with which I upset myself. What did this entail?
I acknowledge that the U.S. government has historically treated its troops poorly. As well, Monsanto and Solutia behaved in an unfavorable manner regarding Anniston. Also, I wasn’t privy to the benefits afforded to the people of Anniston in regard to a class action settlement.
Likewise, the VA continues denying that veterans, colloquially known as “toxic vets,” experience service-related injuries and illnesses associated with Fort McClellan. Additionally, I understand that my medical conditions are likely irreversible and that I may die as a result of toxic exposure.
Moreover, even though I was once ignorant about the potential for contamination from VOCs, TCEs, PCBs, SVOCs, UXOs, and other dangerous compounds, I comprehend that I was aware of the fact that military service was potentially deadly. Addressing this matter in a blogpost entitled Intentionally Cancerous, I stated:
Having worked in Fort McClellan, Miramar, and Pantex, I had no plan to deliberately expose myself to cancer-causing agents. Still, if I develop cancer because of my service in those environments, I at least understood the potential consequences of military service increasing the likelihood of death.
The Stoic practice of UA, which affords success with my interests and goals, is achieved not through denial of reality though by first admitting truth. My military service was toxic to my health and it’s plausible that I may die as a result of exposure to poisonous compounds.
I may not like or love the aforementioned realizations, though I accept them without unhelpful conditions. In REBT, a self-disturbing conditional belief is one that functions in reliance of a determined circumstance. For instance, if x, then y of if […] then […].
As an example, “If the DoD and VA treat me well (x), then I won’t be upset (y),” or, “The DoD and VA should treat me well (x) in order for me not to be upset (y).” What happens when these rigid conditions are inevitably violated? I self-disturb into an unpleasant disposition.
Therefore, I first admit reality. I’m ill and injured from military service. This form of USA acknowledges my fallible nature. I may be a toxic vet with unalterable medical conditions; however, I don’t have to behave in a toxic manner by poisoning my mind with unhelpful beliefs.
Secondly, I do away with inflexible conditional beliefs and instead practice UOA and ULA. With UOA, I admit that other people are flawed like me. Perhaps members of the DoD and VA know that Fort McClellan veterans were toxically exposed. This is likely the case.
Still, attempting to deny benefits to toxic vets is precisely something fallible people would do. Likewise, using ULA, I acknowledge that systems are often unchangeable and that the past is truly unalterable. Without conditions, I accept reality.
Lastly, I focus on my interests and goals – elements of my life over which I have direct control. If I want to improve my level of pain tolerance and overall health through use of self-care, who – other than me – is standing in my path to success?
Forgive me a personal anecdote. Occasionally, I employ the technique known as professional use of self with my clients and coachees. When it benefits those with whom I work, I share personal information regarding my daily practice of self-care.
I’m amused to find that some clients and coachees express disbelief at the notion that they, too, can use flexible structure and routine in their lives. “I couldn’t wake up that early and workout,” is a common response I receive.
“The alternative choice is that I don’t serve you well in this session, because I’d be psychologically and physiologically unwell,” is how I usually reply. My interests and goals require devotion to self-care. Although I have a choice otherwise, I choose the healthier option.
When I achieve success in this regard, other people benefit, as well. Sitting around bitching, moaning, whining, or complaining about the fact that I’m a toxic vet wouldn’t help my clients or coachees, nor would foregoing essential self-care through the use of structure and routine.
Although I was once ignorant about Marine Corps service and its potential impact on my health, I don’t have to remain unknowledgeable about how to currently improve my health. The same may be true for other toxic vets, as well.
We were likely poisoned and may die from toxic exposure. However, before we exit the stage of life, we have the ability to practice Stoic UA so that moments before our final performance are purposeful and meaningful.
Besides, death smiles at us all. Marines smile back. Let’s get healthy until then! Ooh rah!
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Beasley Allen Law Firm. (2003, August 22). Monsanto and Solutia sign $700 million settlement. Retrieved from https://www.beasleyallen.com/article/monsanto-and-solutia-sign-700-million-settlement/
Burkhalter, E. (2021, October 21). State Board of Veterans Affairs seeks action for Fort McClellan vets. Alabama Political Reporter. Retrieved from https://www.alreporter.com/2021/10/21/state-board-of-veterans-affairs-seeks-action-for-fort-mcclellan-vets/#:~:text=Solution%20and%20Monsanto%2C%20which%20operated%20a%20chemical,Monsanto%20plant%20in%20Anniston%2C%20the%20resolution%20reads.
Committee on Source Removal of Contaminants in the Subsurface. (2005). Contaminants in the Subsurface: Source Zone Assessment and Remediation. National Academy of Sciences. Retrieved from https://www.environmentalrestoration.wiki/images/b/b8/NRC-2005_Contaminants_in_the_Subsurface.pdf
Crean, E. (2002, November 7). Toxic secret. CBS News. Retrieved from https://www.cbsnews.com/news/toxic-secret-07-11-2002/
DAV. (2023). Issue brief: Toxic exposures at Fort McClellan. Disabled American Veterans. Retrieved from https://www.dav.org/wp-content/uploads/Toxic-Exposures-at-Fort-McClellan-2023.pdf
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