I miss the era in hip hop when Ludacris focused on rap more so than film. This is because I enjoyed his unique rhyme style and witty quips, much like the panache exhibited by Cam’ron. Nevertheless, I remain grateful for the memories associated with Ludacris’ music.
Among his many one-liners that stand out to me is a line from his 2003 album Chicken-n-Beer, on the song “We Got” that features Chingy, I-20, and 2 Chainz. For those fans of the Three 6 Mafia, the track was produced by DJ Paul and Juicy J, which were solid choices in my opinion.
At any rate, Ludacris states on the track, “Your future’s not looking so good; tomorrow’s not on your calendar.” Perhaps because I’ve long valued the tenets of existentialism, that line has remained with me throughout the years and will inadvertently pop into my mind.
Given my approach to rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), Ludacris’ reminder is much-appreciated. Practicing this helpful method of wellness in both my personal and professional life, I intentionally and strategically incorporate reminders of death into psychoeducation.
Whereas intention relates to an interest, plan, or aim, strategy is a plan of action with specific steps taken in order to achieve a goal. This active-directive approach to mental, emotional, and behavioral health focuses not only on death, but on life in the form of interests and goals.
For instance, suppose that person X has an interest (desire) to prepare for the death of a loved one who recently received notice of only six months remaining in life. In this case, person X’s goal (objective) is to experience healthy versus unhealthy negative emotions.
After all, it wouldn’t serve as a matter of logical and reasonable intention or strategy for person X to say, “When my loved one passes away, I want to be overjoyed!” Bear in mind that this is a loved one, not someone to whom person X was once close and who traumatized this person.
I make this distinction, because some people actually undergo an elated experience when an individual who subjected them to traumatic experiences inevitably dies. Who am I to judge their response? Yet, I digress.
If person X’s interest is to prepare for the death of a loved one and the goal is to experience healthy negative emotions, I’ll intentionally and strategically discuss both life and death – two sides of the same proverbial coin. Often, I do this by reminding people of their own mortality.
Since informally serving as a life coach in 1991, and after having become a psychotherapist in 2011, I’ve been repeatedly reminded – and remain acutely aware – of the fact that not everyone was brought up to unconditionally accept death in the same manner as I was.
As absurd as it may sound, there are some people who are seemingly unaware that there is no guarantee of tomorrow. Life is impermanent and uncertain. Tomorrow’s not on your calendar.
Inevitably, a smart aleck to whom I mention this may contact me the day after I state the proposition and claim, “Ha! You were wrong! I’m alive. Tomorrow was on my calendar!”
Even still, I argue that my proposal is based on sound logic and reason. To better understand this matter, consider the following syllogism:
Form (simplification) –
p and q are true; therefore p is true.
Example –
Life is lived only in this moment (today), and we never live in the past (yesterday) or future (tomorrow). Therefore, life is lived only in this moment (today).
Ergo, tomorrow’s not on your calendar. As such, I use an intentional and strategic approach to life and death. This is why when working with person X I’d incorporate existentialist principles into the mental, emotional, and behavioral health services which I offer.
All these years after hearing “We Got,” Ludacris’ line has remained with me. For that, I’m grateful. Also, if you’d like to know more about how to experience gratitude in the proverbial face of death that smiles at each and every one of us, I look forward to hearing from you.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit (edited), fair use
References:
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