Photo credit (edited), fair use
Yesterday, I came across an online tabloid newspaper article entitled “Katy Perry reveals advice her therapist gave her on how to handle negative album reviews.” Colloquially, the term psychotherapist is often referred to merely as “therapist.”
I’m a psychotherapist and regarding advice I stated in a blogpost entitled The Advice That Never Was, “[W]ho am I to administer advice to anyone? The older I become, the more I realize how little I actually know.”
In both my personal and professional life, I typically refrain from telling people what I believe they should, must, or ought to do. This is the general difference between my initial practice as a life coach and my current function as a psychotherapist.
When having begun the informal practice of life coaching in 1991, I dealt out advice as though I was exhaling. It was the presumably natural process of helping people to improve their lives, or so I mistakenly believed.
Then, in both graduate school for counseling and social work, it was continuously reiterated to me how dis-empowering it is to give advice in a professional capacity of one who provides care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”).
Instead of needlessly “shoulding” on others, which is a term unique to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and that also eloquently describes what occurs when an individual deals out advice to others, I seek to foster self-determination and autonomy within people.
Consequently, I wanted to see what Perry stated in the article about what “advice” her therapist purportedly dealt her. Could it have been possible that the entertainer’s psychotherapist was hampering the progress of a mental health client by haphazardly giving advice?
Or was it more likely that Perry (or someone else) ostensibly confused the psychotherapeutic process as advice-giving? If the latter, the entertainer may have conflated the mental health therapeutic process with that regarding therapy speak which one source describes thusly:
Therapy speak is the incorrect use of jargon from psychology, especially jargon related to psychotherapy and mental health. It tends to be linguistically prescriptive and formal in tone.
Therapy speak is related to psychobabble and buzzwords. It is vulnerable to miscommunication and relationship damage as a result of the speaker not fully understanding the terms they are using, as well as using the words in a weaponized or abusive manner. Therapy speak is not generally used by therapists during psychotherapy sessions.
One crucial element for understanding herein relates to the aforementioned source’s reference to “prescriptive” linguistics. In a blog entry entitled Description vs. Prescription, I outlined the distinction between these two terms thusly:
[If I suggest that placing one’s hand over an open flame may lead to a painful burn, this is a descriptive assertion. I’m not telling a person what should, must, or ought to be done, though simply what is.
Conversely, if I advise you not to place your hand over an open flame, I’m issuing an order of how you should, must, or ought not to behave. Such a prescription may stem from moral, ethical, legal, religious, or other principled rules.
With this understanding, I wondered about whether or not Perry’s therapist was merely describing how one could handle negative album reviews or prescribing a client about how to behave. Concerning the answer to this internal quandary, the article states:
When asked how she handles negative reviews, the 40-year-old pop star, who is one of the best-selling music artists in history, explained that she doesn’t pay any attention to hateful comments about her.
‘You shouldn’t read it when it’s good. You shouldn’t read it when it’s bad,’ she told People of her mindset, four months after releasing her seventh studio album, 143 […]
She explained during a session, her therapist told her: ‘What anybody thinks about you is none of your business. It’s what you think about yourself.’
Although I cannot possibly know the inner workings of the minds regarding Perry or her therapist, the article doesn’t suggest that the entertainer’s psychotherapist dealt out advice. Rather, the reader is left to conclude that it was Perry who issued the advice (i.e., “shouldn’t”).
Therefore, given this insight into my internal predicament, I propose that therapy speak is at hand. Information reportedly attained in Perry’s psychotherapy session – between a therapist and a client – was then disseminated to social media and the legacy media in a muddled fashion.
Essentially, advice-giving was advocated. Herein, I’m making no claim about the intentions of any party involved. Rather, I’m commenting on an observed event and considering it through a dialectical frame. Regarding this approach to understanding, one source states:
Dialectic, also known as the dialectical method, refers originally to dialogue between people holding different points of view about a subject but wishing to arrive at the truth through reasoned argument. Dialectic resembles debate, but the concept excludes subjective elements such as emotional appeal and rhetoric. It has its origins in ancient philosophy and continued to be developed in the Middle Ages.
Hegelianism refigured “dialectic” to no longer refer to a literal dialogue. Instead, the term takes on the specialized meaning of development by way of overcoming internal contradictions.
Given this understanding, I consider a perspective that’s associated with the Hegelian dialectic which one source defines thusly:
[A]n interpretive method, originally used to relate specific entities or events to the absolute idea, in which some assertible proposition thesis is necessarily opposed by an equally assertible and apparently contradictory proposition antithesis, the mutual contradiction being reconciled on a higher level of truth by a third proposition synthesis.
Proposition 1: The use of therapy speak, when lacking proper context, may have an unintended consequence of establishing an irrational expectation for psychotherapeutic outcomes. This consequential effect may then create unnecessary challenges for a psychotherapist.
As an example, Perry ostensibly suggests that she received helpful advice from her therapist. The unintended consequence of this suggestion may result in imaginary prospective client X irrationally expecting that I will also provide advice during a therapy session.
Proposition 2: Using the ABC model, therapy speak is merely an Action about which a therapist may irrationally Believe shouldn’t exist. When this unproductive assumption is violated, it’s one’s internal narrative and not therapy speak itself that causes unpleasant Consequences.
For instance, Perry presumably suggests that therapists deal out advice (Action) and imaginary therapist Y Believes, “Entertainers with large platforms shouldn’t establish a standard of psychotherapists giving advice,” which causes unpleasant frustration (Consequence).
Proposition 3: It may be true that non-contextual therapy speak could result in irrational expectations for therapy (e.g., advice-giving). Likewise, it’s also the case that taking personal ownership over one’s unpleasant outcomes regarding therapy speak is worth considering.
Equally, and in the interest of synthesizing these disharmonious propositions, the mutual contradiction of both proposals is that free speech is being called into question. How does one square this circle – especially a person, such as me, who values the First Amendment?
Either unconstitutional measures will be employed to prevent perceived abuses of therapy speak, or one can take personal responsibility and accountability for one’s own reaction to free speech in the form of therapy speak – regardless of perceptible so-called abuses.
Still, as a principled matter grounded in free speech, it doesn’t matter whether or not Perry’s ostensible advocacy for therapy speak through the promotion of psychotherapeutic advice-giving is intact or whether or not one takes personal ownership for imagined reactions to therapy speak.
The overarching principle in both cases is free speech. Therefore, the third proposition is to not infringe upon the First Amendment right of people to potentially misrepresent what occurs in their therapy sessions. Allow free expression to exist and let the chips fall where they may.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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Durkan-Simonds, D. (2025, February 1). Katy Perry reveals advice her therapist gave her on how to handle negative album reviews. Daily Mail. Retrieved from https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-14350727/Katy-Perry-therapist-advice-negative-album-reviews.html
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