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The Oblivion of Directionlessness

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 11 hours ago
  • 6 min read

 

When recently working with a client, I discussed purpose and meaning as antidotes to directionlessness—the experience of not knowing what one wants to do or what to do in the first place. This is a common theme in my psychotherapy sessions.

 

For context, purpose is something set up as an object or end to be attained. Contrary to what I’ve heard from numerous sources throughout life, I don’t maintain that there’s a sole purpose in life. Rather, I argue that people can have seemingly countless purposes throughout a lifetime.

 

On the other hand, meaning relates to significance and coherence regarding fulfilment of one’s purpose. It’s about understanding why one is alive and it regards what makes one’s life worthwhile, often contributing to something larger than oneself or personal growth.

 

When providing psychoeducational lessons on purpose and meaning to people, I conceptualize purpose as one’s duty, responsibility, or obligation. It’s what one does. When purpose is fulfilled, the worth derived from having attained an objective relates to meaning.

 

As an example, one of my many lifelong purposes is to try to help people achieve a higher level of functioning and improved quality of life. This has been my self-appointed duty since informally practicing the art of life coaching in adolescence.

 

Because I don’t irrationally believe that I absolutely must help people – only that I will flexibly try to help others – I don’t self-disturb with an unhelpful attitude about failure of an unfulfilled purpose. In fact, I remain neutral when my efforts aren’t fruitful. “Why?” you may ask.

 

When trying is my goal and I put forth effort in this regard, I derive meaning from my intended purpose. Trying is good enough for me. Thus, I remain dispassionate about my inability to control or influence others, and I consider my effort of trying as something that’s worthwhile.

 

Since I began life coaching before I even graduated high school and became a psychotherapist in adulthood, I’ve had a lot of time to devote toward direction while not remaining directionless. Unfavorably, many people experience the oblivion of directionlessness. I’ll explain.

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

The portion of the book focusing on clarifying intentions borrows a quote from Stoic philosopher Seneca who stated, “Let all your efforts be directed to something, let it keep that end in view. It’s not activity that disturbs people, but false conceptions of things that drive them mad” (page 19).

 

One false conception about life that has driven mad a number of people with whom I’ve worked is that purpose is valuable only if one’s aim is perfectible. For instance, one may conclude, “I shouldn’t write – an activity that I enjoy – unless I’m capable of becoming the best writer ever.”

 

A major problem with this form of rigid thinking is that human beings are fallible. We’re incapable of achieving perfection. Therefore, when using a significantly limited perspective regarding one’s purpose, one may simultaneously forego meaning in life. No bueno.

 

This unproductive experience then results in directionlessness about which one may inevitably self-disturb when using unpleasant assumptions regarding the matter. Take my approach to writing as an example. I thoroughly enjoy the process of filtering my thoughts into written form.

 

However, I’ve been told by a number of people that I’m not a competent writer. I agree. Nevertheless, I like to write. If I were to unhelpfully believe that I can’t use the purpose of writing from which to derive meaning, I’d likely miss out on both satisfaction and worth in life.

 

Rather than succumbing to disempowering directionlessness, I write – albeit a fairly poor standard of communicating thoughts through written form. Using my example, the end in mind is to enjoy myself by having a purpose and retaining personally-appreciated worth.

 

Regarding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state, “Having an end in mind is no guarantee that you’ll reach it—no Stoic would tolerate that assumption—but not having an end in mind is a guarantee you won’t” (page 19). While trying to help others or by writing, I have an end in mind.

 

How about you? Do you have a direction in mind for which purpose can be established? Or do you defeat yourself and deprive your life of value by aimlessly wandering through life? About this issue, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 19):

 

How will you know when you’ve had enough, when you’ve reached your goal, when you’ve gotten off track, if you’ve never defined what those things are? The answer is that you cannot. And so you are driven into failure—or worse, into madness by the oblivion of directionlessness.

 

Unfortunately, I’ve observed the oblivion of a purposeless and meaningless existence pertaining to others. It isn’t pleasant. Unless you favor nihility, I encourage you to contemplate what I recently shared with a client. Purpose and meaning can be antidotes to directionlessness.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


 

References:

 

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, December 30). Empowerment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/empowerment

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, April 13). Goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/goals

Hollings, D. (2023, December 26). Good enough is good enough. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/good-enough-is-good-enough

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2022, November 4). Human fallibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/human-fallibility

Hollings, D. (2025, January 14). Level of functioning and quality of life. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/level-of-functioning-and-quality-of-life

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, June 23). Meaningful purpose. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/meaningful-purpose

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2023, June 3). Perfect is the enemy of good. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/perfect-is-the-enemy-of-good

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2025, January 15). Satisfaction. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/satisfaction

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Seneca the Younger. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seneca_the_Younger

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