When attending graduate school for counseling (2009-2011) and focusing on the study of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I learned a bit about the relatively progressive lifestyle of the late psychologist Albert Ellis who developed this psychotherapeutic model.
As is the case with essentially every fallible human being I’ve ever met or about whom I’ve heard, I don’t agree with everything that anyone does or has to say. Ellis is no exception to this perspective.
For instance, as anyone who’s read more than a blogpost or two written by me likely knows already, I enjoy music quite a bit. In fact, I incorporate rap music of the hip hop subculture and electronic dance music into many REBT themes within my blog.
However, having listened to a number of recordings of Ellis, his staff members, and attendees of the Albert Ellis Institute, I don’t think I’d enjoy sitting around singing what I consider to be silly songs about REBT. Some people like that sort of thing, though I’m not among their cohort.
Also, per one source, “By the 1960s, Ellis had come to be seen as one of the founders of the American sexual revolution. Especially in his earlier career, he was well known for his work as a sexologist and for his liberal humanistic, and in some camps controversial opinions on human sexuality.”
Although I’ve not read enough about Ellis’ views on sex to say that I entirely reject his perspective, the material I’ve consumed from him isn’t something personally supported. As well, I think there are valid criticisms to be made regarding the so-called “American sexual revolution.”
Nevertheless, I appreciate most material addressing REBT that stems from the late psychologist (i.e., books, essays, articles, recordings, etc.). However, one exception to this claim is Ellis’ outlook on sex and marriage, as expressed in Creative Marriage.
I have no problem with stating that I maintain a different philosophical perspective than what I interpret Ellis as having valued. When initially reading Creative Marriage, I planned on writing frequently about different topics as I read the book.
Yet, the more information I consume from the piece of literature, the more I want to walk away from the book and pretend as though it doesn’t exist. Unabashedly, my different perspective on intimate partner relationships varies drastically from Ellis’ understood perspective.
As an example, the entirety of chapter nine in Creative Marriage isn’t something with which I’d even wipe my ass. Perhaps 80-grit sandpaper would produce a similar effect as the pages of what I consider to be (taking a charitable perspective here) simpery at its finest.
I think I’ve seen less simp behavior in the pervert’s row section of a strip club—the area outlining the stage upon which strippers dance—than across which I’ve come in the pages of Creative Marriage. And I used to date a bartender at a strip club, so I’ve seen some simping actions in my time.
All the same, I approach this matter with unconditional other-acceptance and merely continue on to the next chapter of Creative Marriage with intentions of eventually completing a book that I thus far wouldn’t recommend to a client. Even though I don’t like it, there’s something to be gained within its pages.
So, too, is my hope for those individuals who read my blog and determine that our philosophical differences are apparent. If I can tolerate and accept reading opinions which differ from my own, I suspect that others can conduct themselves in a similar fashion in order to learn something.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
AEI. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/
Ellis, A. and Harper, R. A. (1961). Creative Marriage. The Institute For Rational Living, Inc. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/creative-marriage-e184052310.html
Hollings, D. (2024, May 23). A humanistic approach to mental health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-humanistic-approach-to-mental-health
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2024, November 18). Opinions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/opinions
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Mister Northeast. (2021, October 28). Simpery. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Simpery
Mr. Sinful. (2020, September 2). Simp. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Simp
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Albert Ellis. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Ellis
Yanalya. (n.d.). Male hands stroking female back, passionate couple making love, closeup [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/male-hands-stroking-female-back-passionate-couple-making-love-closeup_3939030.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=14&uuid=cd98a269-bf82-4674-8c27-0cf74dc1c2e3&new_detail=true
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