Photo credit (edited), fair use
Years ago, a friend of mine attempted to convince me to join TikTok. “You’d be great at showing people how to do that rational thing you do,” she said in reference to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). While I appreciated the support of my professional career, I declined the offer.
Regarding this matter, I stated in a blogpost entitled 500 and Getting Better, “I left behind Facebook in around 2012 and Instagram in 2018, and I didn’t want to return to social media content creation.” Unfortunately, a clinician for whom I worked featured a video of me on his Facebook profile in 2019.
He reportedly paid thousands of dollars per month to advertise his business, which in turn was said to have been a quite lucrative investment. Considering this and although a psychotherapist (“therapist”) profile on TikTok may provide more exposure, I don’t want or need social media in my life.
Granted, I passively consume content from YouTube, Rumble, Reddit, TikTok, and other sources. Nevertheless, I’m content with sharing REBT material through only an archaic blog format. If people choose not to interact with the information I post, I’m at peace with their decision.
In any case, I’m not unaware of how many self-professed therapists there are on social platforms such as TikTok. While these individuals very well may have the requisite education, training, and credentialing, I suspect that many people I’ve observed who hold themselves out as therapists simply aren’t clinicians.
Similarly, I imagine that many life coaches I’ve witnessed have little-to-no formal instruction, preparation, or authenticating information regarding their approach to mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Of course, this is unsurprising to me.
Whereas the field of psychotherapy is often regulated at a state or federal level, life coaching as a whole isn’t subject to such rigorous standards. To use a precise example, I admit that I began life coaching in the mid-90s when I was an adolescent.
Helping other children and even adults at the children’s home in which I was a resident; I found that I was somehow able to assist with resolving various problems with which I was presented. I continued this informal practice up until I began formal education in counseling.
Even after having earned graduate degrees in counseling (2011) and social work (2014), I’ve continued to serve as a life coach, though with incorporation of specific behavioral health techniques I’ve acquired along the way. Thus, I understand how TikTok life coaches may operate with impunity.
Additionally, because of my small-l libertarian principles, I question state- and federal-sanctioned licensure requirements. Although I abide by mandatory actions necessary to serve as a licensed professional counselor and licensed clinical social worker, I maintain that ideally these standards shouldn’t exist.
At any rate, it isn’t uncommon for a client to attend a psychotherapy session while mistaking something heard on TikTok (in particular) with ideas I’ve allegedly advocated. “It’s like you’ve told me, I have to first love myself before I can love another person,” one client stated.
Sccrrttttt!! Hol’up! I didn’t say that nonsense. That’s straight up TikTok fuckery! Although I advocate unconditional acceptance (UA) – a core tenet of REBT that encourages unconditional self-, other-, and life-acceptance as a means of reducing self-disturbance – I don’t promote the concept of self-love.
For instance, suppose you don’t like or love yourself. Perhaps you don’t unhelpfully demand that you should be some other way. Rather, you just don’t love yourself like people on TikTok declare that you should.
Also, you don’t use awfulizing by considering your life a terrible, horrible, or awful existence. As well, you aren’t unproductively convincing yourself that you can’t stand life, using the self-disturbing belief category of low frustration tolerance.
Instead, you simply don’t love yourself. With this outlook, you aren’t necessarily issuing a global evaluation regarding the essence of your being. You don’t say to yourself, “I’m a piece of shit!” Instead, you merely conclude that you don’t love yourself even if you’re a lovable person.
I would ask that given this proposition, could you tolerate and accept yourself as the fallible human being that you’ve always been, are at the this very moment, and will continue being until you inevitably die? Suppose you’re capable of rational thinking—that which is in accordance with logic and reason.
You tell yourself, “Although I don’t love myself, I’m not unlovable. I can and do love other people, as there’s no universal mandate that orders me to first adore myself in order to love other individuals.” Wonderful! As a rational thinker, you realize that TikTok isn’t a galactic arbiter of human behavior.
When working with clients, I occasionally need to address nonsense of this sort from social media which is brought into sessions. Contemplating this matter, I was recently amused by a TikTok therapy reference on the romantic comedy television series Nobody Wants This.
In season one, episode seven, character Joanne says to her boyfriend Noah, “I know I shouldn’t care what people think, at least that’s what my therapist on TikTok tells me. But some people think that you shouldn’t believe everything you see on TikTok.”
The neither subtle nor sophisticated quip expressed by Joanne isn’t as obvious to some people as one would otherwise hope. Alas, I practice UA as a means of reducing self-disturbance in this regard. Besides, I doubt the world needs yet another behavioral health gatekeeper.
Of course, not all people are as easily fooled by faux therapists on TikTok as one may imagine. According to one Redditor (punctuation errors corrected):
I just came across the millionth video by some “influencer” talking about relationships to try to get men to sign up for her men’s healing/dating/relationship class. She’s not a psychiatrist or therapist. No degree, experience, training or license. Before becoming a “men’s mental health expert”, she was a sales intern at a radio station. And now she just decided she’s a TikTok therapist for views and clicks. Sign up for her newsletter and don’t forget to subscribe!
The amount of damage being wrought by legions of completely unqualified dating/relationship “experts” giving out toxic advice on social media every minute is incalculable. There’s no barrier to entry for any of this. Similar to all the investing experts giving “not financial advice” financial advice.
I have rational compassion for the Redditor and associated perspective. I, too, have seen questionably-qualified women advertising themselves as “men’s mental health expert[s].” One wonders what expertise an out-group member has regarding an emic experience. Yet, I digress.
When considering this topic, I’m well aware of what one source states, “The credentials fallacy is a logical fallacy that occurs when someone dismisses an argument by stating that whoever made it doesn’t have proper credentials, so their argument must be wrong or unimportant.”
Therefore, I don’t unproductively believe that TikTok so-called therapists shouldn’t exist or that they ought to retain specific credentials in order to provide psychoeducation to their followers or subscribers. Using rational thinking and UA, I’m not self-disturbed in this regard.
Instead, I chuckle at Joanne’s citation of what her supposed therapist on TikTok had to say – even though I agree with the recommendatory should statement the Nobody Wants This character espoused. I suppose that ultimately, TikTok provides me with job security, because I’m left to clean up messes made by careless “therapists” on the social media platform.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Effectiviology. (n.d.). The credentials fallacy: What it is and how to respond to it. Retrieved from https://effectiviology.com/credentials-fallacy/
Freepik. (n.d.). Tiktok interface concept [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/tiktok-interface-concept_7887143.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=19&uuid=fd2ae2a3-a06a-42ac-ad72-15eccd6c783a
Halfmeasures611. (2023). There’s so much damaged being caused by Tiktok therapists. Reddit. Retrieved from https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomThoughts/comments/14ulmiy/theres_so_much_damaged_being_caused_by_tiktok/
Hollings, D. (2024, March 2). 500 and getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/500-and-getting-better
Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing
Hollings, D. (2024, May 30). Behavioral health care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/behavioral-health-care
Hollings, D. (2024, June 24). Contentment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/contentment
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being
Hollings, D. (2024, August 2). Gatekeeping. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/gatekeeping
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Ideal should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ideal-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, August 21). In-group and out-group distinction. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/in-group-and-out-group-distinction
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2022, December 9). Like it, love it, accept it. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/like-it-love-it-accept-it
Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason
Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance
Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health
Hollings, D. (2022, October 22). On empathy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-empathy
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2024, May 26). Principles. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/principles
Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, October 8). You can’t sit with us! Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-can-t-sit-with-us
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Nobody Wants This. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobody_Wants_This
Comments