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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

Stay Better

 

One of the main objectives for practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is to help people get better and not merely feel better. To better understand what I mean, consider the following imaginary case vignette:

 

Client X attends her first session with me in relation to the perceived inability to experience joy following the death of her elderly mother who she dearly loved. The client reports no longer enjoying her favorite activity, going for runs with her husband and their dog. Therefore, she avoids attending to these outings. When discussing he goal for psychotherapy, client X says that she wishes to feel better so that she may once again enjoy life through running with those she loves.

 

What does it mean to feel better? Using psychoeducation, I’d invite client X to consider that with my approach to REBT I categorize feelings as either emotions (i.e., joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, etc.) or bodily sensations (e.g., pain in the gut region of the body).

 

Suppose client X understands this distinction and she expresses a desire to feel better in regard to her mood (i.e., rather than feeling sorrow she could feel joy). How realistic is it that client X will feel joy when reminded of how much she misses her deceased mother?

 

Although client X may believe that replacing an unpleasant emotion with a move favorable feeling is the aim of behavioral health care, I’d encourage her to consider that improved feeling in this regard is a by-product and not the objective of my approach to REBT.

 

Some REBT practitioners may disagree with my perspective. In any case, rather than aiming to help client X feel better, I’d invite her to consider that my goal is to help people get better. How might this look for client X?

 

Getting better would incorporate how client X felt and behaved, as well as what she believed which influenced emotions, sensations, and behavior. In particular, client X would learn how to use the ABC model and unconditional acceptance to actually get better overall.

 

For example, getting better would involve client X pushing through the discomfort of going on runs with her husband and dog even when experiencing anhedonia—the inability to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable. Again, joy or feeling better isn’t the goal.

 

Using a holistic approach to behavioral health care, client X could practice the very activity she used to enjoy so that this element of self-care is incorporated into treatment or management of her presenting problem. Thus, homework would be negotiated to get client X to run again.

 

Presume that after a few sessions of using cognitive behavior therapy techniques included in the practice of REBT (e.g. exposure to running even when joy isn’t the goal), client X eventually begins to feel better (e.g., contentment) while also getting better (e.g., running regularly).

 

How might she then achieve the process of staying better? Regarding this objective, page 195 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion invites REBT practitioners to show clients that once they get better it takes work to stay better.

 

In client X’s case, staying better isn’t about no longer feeling sorrow for the death of her mom. Rather, client X would need to frequently practice tolerance and acceptance concerning this matter.

 

Likewise, self-care is an integral part of staying better, as it’s what helped client X get better. In this way, my approach to REBT is rather simple. Do more of that which serves your interests and goals, and do less of that which doesn’t.

 

Of course, this is easier said than done. Therefore, in order to stay better client X would need to regularly work at serving her interests and goals. If this approach to behavioral health care sounds like something in which you’d be interested, I look forward to hearing from you.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


 

References:

 

Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. ISBN 0-917476-26-3. Library of Congress Control Number: 20031044378

Hollings, D. (2024, May 30). Behavioral health care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/behavioral-health-care

Hollings, D. (2024, May 19). Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/cognitive-behavior-therapy-cbt

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, April 13). Goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/goals

Hollings, D. (2024, January 6). Happiness is a by-product. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/happiness-is-a-by-product

Hollings, D. (2022, May 31). Holistic approach to mental health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/holistic-approach-to-mental-health

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2024, April 18). Homework. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/homework

Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 6). Self-care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-care

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna

Hollings, D. (2024, June 19). Treatment vs. management. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/treatment-vs-management

Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance

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