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Sphere of Choice

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 5 days ago
  • 7 min read

 

Imagine walking along a busy street. People abruptly bump into you, car horns honk loudly, and other matters of commotion are experienced along the way. Over how many of these elements do you have control?

 

In a blogpost entitled Circle of Concern, I discussed Stephen Covey’s perspective regarding circles of concern and influence to illustrate how little control people actually have in life. Conceptually, there are circles of control, influence, and concern.

 

Within the circle of control is only oneself. In essence, you have limited control over your bodily functions. Also, while you cannot control matters outside of this sphere, you can control how you respond to them (e.g., controlling how you react to being bumped into while in public).

 

Regarding the circle of influence are elements outside of oneself which may or may not be influenced by oneself. Although you don’t control the matters outside of this sphere, you could potentially affect them (e.g., eliciting an apology from someone who bumped into you).

 

Pertaining to the circle of concern are all things generally falling outside of one’s control or influence. In this sphere, there’s no control and limited influence (e.g., whether or not emergency services personnel seen in public, when en route to a traffic fatality, are able to save a life).

 

Additionally, in a blog entry entitled Concern and No Concern, I discussed the concept of the area of no concern. This encapsulates everything outside of the spheres of control, influence, and concern (e.g., whether or not an alien species in a galaxy far away enjoys playing tennis).

 

With this understanding, I again invite you to imagine walking along a busy street. People abruptly bump into you, car horns honk loudly, and other matters of commotion are experienced along the way. Over how many of these elements do you have control? The answer: Only you.

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

Authors of The Daily Stoic appear to comprehend how little control and influence people actually have in life. So, too, was the case for ancient Stoic philosophers. For instance, in The Daily Stoic, authors quote ancient Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus who stated (page 26):

 

Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak, and through the day and night—there is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to God and Fortune.

 

I don’t’ adhere to the “God and Fortune” aspect of Epictetus’ wise formulation. Nevertheless, I appreciate his reference to one’s “sphere of choice” that represents the circle of control. Regarding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic recommend (page 26):

 

This morning, remind yourself of what is in your control and what’s not in your control. Remind yourself to focus on the former and not the latter.

 

Actively reminding oneself about the sphere of choice, or circle of control, is a method by which rational living is facilitated. Rather than self-disturbing with irrational beliefs about how much control you supposedly have, authors of The Daily Stoic further recommend (page 26):

 

Before lunch, remind yourself that the only thing you truly possess is your ability to make choices (and to use reason and judgment when doing so). This is the only thing that can never be taken from you completely.

 

You likely have very little influence (if any) regarding the circles of influence and concern. Also, within the area of no concern, you’d use delusional thinking when maintaining that you had any control or influence. Therefore, authors of The Daily Stoic also recommend (page 26):

 

In the afternoon, remind yourself that aside from the choices you make, your fate is not entirely up to you. The world is spinning and we spin along with it—whichever direction, good or bad.

 

Life is impermanent and uncertain. Even if within your sphere of choice you make all of the supposed right decisions regarding your life, you live within the circle of concern that encapsulates death. Thus, authors of The Daily Stoic continue by recommending (page 26):

 

In the evening, remind yourself again how much is outside of your control and where your choices begin and end.

 

In the evening, you may choose to eat well or not at all. All the same, your impending death awaits you. Decisions made in the sphere of choice may prolong the inevitable, though you don’t have full control in life. Finally, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 26):

 

As you lie in bed, remember that sleep is a form of surrender and trust and how easily it comes. And prepare to start the whole cycle over again tomorrow.

 

Along with this reminder is the fact that you may not begin the cycle over again tomorrow. You may very well die in your sleep. This is nothing about which to self-disturb, because this has been as true since you were born as it is currently. After all, death is within the circle of concern.

 

You reside in that sphere. Ultimately, your sphere of choice is exercised flexibly and with knowledge of how little control, influence, and time you actually have in life. To lie about this matter is to delude oneself in one of the most unhelpful ways imaginable.

 

Thus, as you walk along a busy street when people abruptly bump into you, car horns honk loudly, and other matters of commotion are experienced along the way, it may be useful to remember how little control, influence, and time you have in life. This is a rational perspective.

 

Just as authors of The Daily Stoic helpfully recommend that you make proper use of your sphere of choice, I invite you to use a flexible outlook regarding your circle of control. Besides, one day an inescapable death will become you. Until then, you have time to make healthy choices in life.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Development Partnership. (n.d.). Stephen Covey’s circle of concern and circle of influence. Retrieved from https://dplearningzone.the-dp.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/06/Covey.pdf

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern

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Hollings, D. (2023, April 22). Control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control

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