Paying close attention to the 2024 United States (U.S.) presidential election season, I’ve concluded that reiteration of the content expressed in my blogpost Matching Bracelets is in order. In particular, I think it may be useful to discuss how the process of self-upsetting occurs.
When I joined the U.S. Marine Corps (USMC) in 1996, I knew that the Corps uniquely functioned as a department of the U.S. Navy. However, I didn’t fully understand the aspect of an inter-service rivalry—a clash between different branches of a country’s armed forces.
For context, consider U.S. politics. Both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party purportedly serve the interests of U.S. citizens. Yet, there’s a divisively fierce rivalry between the two parties. With that framing, now contemplate the matter of inter-service rivalries.
Colloquially, members of the USMC are referred to as jarheads, devil dogs, killers, war hounds, leathernecks, and other terms to identify in-group distinction. Nevertheless, Marines don’t refer to themselves as shipmates, seamen, sailors, or other names which confer naval designation.
Similar to the imagined response one may receive when referring to a Republican as a liberal, misidentifying a Marine as a shipmate could correlate with an unpleasant outcome. Aside from my ignorance of inter-service rivalry in 1996, I also knew nothing about rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT).
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what cause unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. The process of upsetting oneself with these unfavorable beliefs is referred to in REBT as self-disturbance.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of these unproductive assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Noteworthy, Actions and Consequences aren’t Disputed, only unproductive Beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, in USMC Recruit Training I once performed many pushups in a single setting (Action) and my arms hurt for 48 hours afterward (Consequence). From an A-C perspective, lactic acid from intense physical training can cause bodily pain.
Alternatively, if when a Marine is called shipmate (Action) and unhelpfully Believes, “I can’t stand being identified as a member of the U.S. Navy,” then the individual will likely self-upset into an angry disposition (Consequence). Thus, self-disturbance is caused by a B-C connection.
When using REBT, I try to help people stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. After all, mandatory performance of pushups and the body’s natural response is something I can’t ameliorate.
In addition to the ABC model, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
During my military service in the USMC from 1996 to 2007, I knew nothing of REBT. Therefore, when I experienced significant administrative and legal problems during my time in the Corps I self-disturbed quite a bit. For context, I stated in a blogpost entitled Matching Bracelets:
From June 13, 2002 to June 18, 2002, I was placed in a naval consolidated (NAVCON) brig aboard [Marine Corp Air Station] MCAS Miramar, San Diego, California for pretrial detention. Subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, military members were held to divergent legal statutes than civilians.
From September 30, 2002 to October 23, 2002, I was again placed in the NAVCON brig aboard MCAS Miramar for pretrial detention. When entering the brig that time, I was immediately identified as an MP [military police] though I continued to be housed in general population [GP].
I can’t accurately recall whether it was my first or second time in the brig, though I remember a member of the U.S. Navy yelling at me and calling me a shipmate. “Pick that blanket up, shipmate,” “Go to that cell, shipmate,” “Oh, cop an attitude with me, shipmate,” he yelled.
Using a B-C connection, I self-disturbed to anger and barked back, “I’m a Marine, not a shipmate!” That proved not to have been a logical or reasonable decision on my part. Looking back, I had three major factors working against my detention status in the NAVCON brig.
First, the naval member at whom I snapped didn’t forget about me and he made sure to further try provoking me to respond in a disrespectful manner. It’s generally unwise to make enemies with people who have more command over one’s movement than does the detained individual.
Second, being that my actions as an MP contributed to the detention and confinement status of other detainees and inmates in the brig, I was exposed to a genuine threat to my safety. I suspect that placing a former law-enforcer in GP wasn’t done without knowledge of this potential.
Last, when working as an MP I once responded to a suicide attempt emergency call at the brig and wound up arguing with a brig staff member. When in detainee status, he remembered my face and had me sent to solitary confinement as a matter of retribution.
With all of the aforementioned events, I used B-C connections to self-disturb. Thankfully, when attending graduate school for counseling and learning about REBT between 2009 and 2011, I learned not to upset myself in such a manner. Regarding this experience, I further stated in Matching Bracelets:
On March 23, 2010, I was apprehended by the Austin Police Department and I was booked into the Travis County Jail for suspicion of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. The case was subsequently closed without arraignment or formal charges.
Was I a bad person between 2002 and 2010? I have no felonies. I’ve never served a single day in an incarcerated setting as a result of conviction [of] a crime. Still, some people—especially some social workers within the field—have turned up their noses in regards to my past.
While in the Travis County Jail, a self-identified former Marine gunnery sergeant who was a member of the jail staff repeatedly berated me. Unlike similar jeering incidents from my time in the NAVCON brig, I didn’t self-disturb.
Detention in jail didn’t impact me, as though some A-C connection could cause me to feel (emotion or sensation) and behave in one way or another. Likewise, subsequent expressed scorn from mental, emotional, and behavioral health practitioners wasn’t impactful to me.
Similarly, knowing of how self-disturbance is caused by the B-C connection, I currently feel no shame from the experience of my past. Regarding this matter, I further stated in Matching Bracelets:
I think of a quote from el-Hajj Malik el-Shabazz when he addressed those who attempted to shame him for his criminal past:
To have once been a criminal is no disgrace. To remain a criminal is the disgrace. I formerly was a criminal. I formerly was in prison. I’m not ashamed of that. You never can use that over my head. He’s using the wrong stick. I don’t feel that stick.
Currently, I don’t care if someone refers to me as a shipmate or shit bird—both terms to which I was referred when in the USMC. Likewise, I’m unaffected by those members of my field who’ve unproductively used global evaluations when considering my past legal detention status.
I know who and what I am. I’m Deric, a fallible human being who makes many mistakes. Therefore, undesirable labels mean very little to me. Would you, too, like to know more about how not to allow a B-C connection to cause you to self-disturb? If so, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Hollings, D. (2024, October 18). ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/abc-model
Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing
Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
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Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being
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Hollings, D. (2024, August 27). Guilt and shame are choices. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/guilt-and-shame-are-choices
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 21). Matching bracelets. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/matching-bracelets
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Hollings, D. (2024, October 14). Mistakes. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mistakes
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Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2023, February 4). Provocation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/provocation
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Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation
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Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
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Kamali, S. (2021, April 5). Malcolm X: Why El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz matters. The Revealer. Retrieved from https://therevealer.org/malcolm-x-why-el-hajj-malik-el-shabazz-matters/
Spowertube. (2013, November 25). Malcolm X in Los Angeles May 5, 1962 Who taught you to hate yourself? full speech [Video – Starting at around minute 14:47]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/kboP3AWCTkA
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Interservice rivalry. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interservice_rivalry
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Naval Consolidated Brig, Miramar [Image]. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_Consolidated_Brig,_Miramar
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