Suppose you’ve decided to competitively run for your first marathon. How might you approach the training required to perform at a level in alignment with your goal to outperform others within your particular demographic?
Let’s imagine that with your limited resources you can’t hire a running or fitness coach. Still, you have access to plenty of free content available through social media and other online sources.
You create a schedule for the number of miles you wish to run per week and you commit to rigorous, though reasonable, self-discipline that will allow you to effectively train. As well, you receive plenty of hydration and alter your nutritional needs accordingly.
Likewise, you adhere to a sleeping schedule and waking rest routine that affords you an opportunity to forego unnecessary injuries associated with improper recovery. You maintain adequate running attire, have plenty of music for your runs, and you’re motivated to succeed.
What I’ve described thus far is the process of self-help—the use of one’s own efforts and resources to satisfy interests and achieve goals without relying on others. Of course, self-help isn’t about the rejection of assistance from other people altogether.
As one source states, “When engaged in self-help, people often use publicly available information, or support groups—on the Internet as well as in person—in which people in similar situations work together.” Mainly, self-help involves use of one’s own exertion toward a desired outcome. This can be done in association with others.
Although I’ve chosen to illustrate physical fitness as an example, people can also use self-help as a strategy for behavioral health care. For instance, consider the practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
In a blogpost entitled I’m My Own Mechanic, I used a metaphor of myself as a vehicle when stating:
I wanted to learn how to work on my own vehicle so that I could not only repair it when things went awry, I could also use preventative maintenance to keep my car functioning in an optimal manner. Therefore, I learned of and have since practiced REBT.
REBT is a psychotherapeutic modality that affords people to become their own mechanics, sticking with the metaphor, or function as their own psychotherapists of sorts. There’s no need to lie down on a couch and have another person psychoanalytically assess you with this model of therapy.
Noteworthy, page 183 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion invites REBT practitioners to encourage clients to assume a self-helping role as early on in REBT as possible. This is because REBT functions from a humanistic approach to well-being.
Essentially, each person (with some limited exceptions) has the ability to help themselves. This applies to matters concerning elements of physical, mental, emotional, behavioral, and spiritual (if that’s something in which you believe) consideration.
Regarding the matter of self-help and advocacy for REBT, the late psychologist who developed this psychotherapeutic model, Albert Ellis, stated:
It efficiently shows you how you are now still creating your present emotional and behavioral problems, and it doesn’t encourage you to waste endless time and energy foolishly trying to understand and explain your past history. It demonstrates how you still needlessly upset yourself and what you can do today to refuse to keep doing so.
Take a moment to reflect back to your hypothetical training for a marathon. I suspect there would be days on which you’d likely make excuses as to why you wouldn’t want or need to train, even if you didn’t believe the nonsense you were telling yourself, and you’d later experience guilt.
This is an example of an emotional and behavioral problem attributed self-disturbance. Your irrational beliefs create consequences such as guilt and a lack of commitment to goals. Thus, REBT affords people an opportunity to help themselves by getting out of their own way.
To reiterate, self-help involves use of one’s own exertion toward a desired outcome, though this doesn’t mean neglect or abandonment of assistance from or toward others. Expanding upon this point, Ellis and a coauthor stated:
Each psychotherapy or self-help system has its implicit or explicit goals. [REBT] falls into the second class. [REBT] values survival and satisfaction in living, including doing what we reasonably can to help the human race survive, getting along with members of the social group or community, relating intimately with a few selected members of that group, enjoying productive work, and self-acceptance.
Although we cannot absolutely prove these goals as good, few would dispute them. Once we choose them, we can define rationality as any behavior or thought which furthers such goals. We can also deem irrational any thinking or action which interferes with the attainment of those goals.
Given this understanding, imagine you’ve decided to competitively run for your first marathon. In the interest of self-help, you’ve taken a number of measures to afford yourself an opportunity for success.
Still, you’ve also discovered a local running club that has members of various skill levels. You decide to join, as membership is free, and you enhance your goal-attainment endeavor through the process of active participation with others of similar interests and goals.
Meanwhile, you regularly attend REBT sessions with me. Also, you take the skills learned from our work together and regularly practice them in your daily life.
Soon, you’re able to share what you’ve learned about REBT with friends, family members, coworkers, and others. Similar to the group of runners with whom you strengthen your running skills, you begin fortifying your REBT abilities with people in your everyday life.
This is self-help and it’s what I advocate through my personal and professional approach to REBT. If this sounds like something in which you may be interested, I look forward to hearing from you. Otherwise, help yourself – because that’s a viable option, as well.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
AEI. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/
Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. ISBN 0-917476-26-3. Library of Congress Control Number: 20031044378
Ellis, A. (2006). How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable about anything --Yes, anything! Revised edition. Kensington Publishing Corp. Retrieved from https://dokumen.pub/qdownload/how-to-stubbornly-refuse-to-make-yourself-miserable-about-anything-yes-anything-revised-and-updated-edition-9780806536538-0806536535.html
Ellis, A. and Knaus, W. J. (1977). Overcoming procrastination: or how to think and act rationally in spite of life's inevitable hassles. The Institute for Rational Living. Retrieved from https://dokumen.pub/overcoming-procrastination-or-how-to-think-and-act-rationally-in-spite-of-lifes-inevitable-hassles-0451159314.html
Hollings, D. (2024, May 23). A humanistic approach to mental health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-humanistic-approach-to-mental-health
Hollings, D. (2024, May 30). Behavioral health care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/behavioral-health-care
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (2024, April 13). Goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/goals
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, October 15). I’m my own mechanic. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/i-m-my-own-mechanic
Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice
Hollings, D. (2024, April 4). Preventative maintenance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/preventative-maintenance
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
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Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous
Hollings, D. (2024, April 30). Self-discipline. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-discipline
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2022, August 8). Was Freud right? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/was-freud-right
Wayhomestudio. (n.d.). Horizontal shot of active slim woman stretches legs demonstrates her flexibility listens audio track in wireless headphones wears tracksuit [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/horizontal-shot-active-slim-woman-stretches-legs-demonstrates-her-flexibility-listens-audio-track-wireless-headphones-wears-tracksuit_20744352.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=37&uuid=77316121-e233-4f85-ad77-a018febde6e9
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Self-help. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-help
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