When living in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil in 1999, while assigned to the Marine Security Guard (MSG) detachment for protection of the U.S. Consulate General Rio de Janeiro, I tried to learn as much Brasilian Portuguese as I could. This is because I wanted to immerse myself in the culture.
I never much enjoyed visiting places different than my upbringing while merely carrying along with me the customs up with which I was raised. I’m not a tourist. Instead, I like to explore where the people indigenous to a culture gather. In Brasil, Rio became like a second home to me.
With the helpful assistance of some cariocas (natives to Rio), I was able to speak about 40% of the language for conversational purposes. Thanks to the supportive input of a language tutor, I also learned to how speak both when around diplomats and when in the favelas (shanty towns).
One day, I asked the tutor about a phrase that some of the local guards who were hired to augment MSGs kept calling me. She laughed and said to me, “They’re saying that you’re good blood. ‘Sangue bom’ references a cool dude.” Per one source, the term also means “homeboy.”
It was a touching experience to hear that I was accepted by the cariocas, some of whom latter bestowed upon me the title of “honorary carioca.” As well, it was endearing to me that the language tutor added, “You are not like the others [MSGs]. You really are sangue bom.”
I could only speculate as to why Brasilians viewed and treated me in a different manner than my fellow Marines. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I ventured into the favelas, treated Brasilians as my equal, and listened to rap music – not all factors which my peers shared.
During that same year, Brasilian hip hop group Realidade Cruel released a track entitled “Só Sangue Bom.” I purchased their CD at a local supermarket and put the song into a DJ mix. Personally, the rap compilation I made for others was muito legal (very cool)!
In any case, and although I had a phenomenal time getting to know Brasilians and sharing in their culture, the situation with me and most of the other Rio MSGs wasn’t muito legal. As I’ve written about this matter elsewhere within my blog, I won’t bore you with details herein.
At any rate, being that today is Veterans Day, I looked through a trove of photographs from my time in the military. When doing so, I thought about the Rio Marines.
This isn’t a common occurrence, as I no longer maintain contact with any of them. Although I keep in touch with one family member of an MSG featured in the following photo taken at Christ the Redeemer, these men who I once called “brothers” are now little more than memories:
Through years of practicing rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), I’ve been able to unconditionally accept that the people of Brasil treated me far more favorably than did the Marines with whom I shared a shared military service that was forged in blood, sweat, and tears.
Acknowledging this fact brings me no misery, sorrow, or pain at all. This is because I place no absolutistic or conditional belief in between the present and the past. I don’t sit in this moment and unhelpfully demand that things shouldn’t, mustn’t, or oughtn’t to be as they simply are.
What good would it do me to self-disturb in such a manner? It wouldn’t! Besides, I have wonderful memories of discussing hip hop with cariocas, as they displayed the shaka hand gesture (extending the thumb and small finger while keeping the three middle fingers curled).
I didn’t need to be accepted by MSGs. For that matter, cariocas didn’t have to accept me either. Nevertheless, I was called “sangue bom” and made an honorary carioca by the latter. In addition, I got to know a language tutor who treated me with kindness. What more could I have asked for?
Generally, I don’t pay days of the week any special tribute. Veterans Day is as any other to me. All the same, for whatever reason, I glanced back into the past today. And you know what? I’m glad I did. This is because I’m reminded of how the cariocas I met in Rio were also sangue bom.
While this admission may rival what I teach clients about global evaluations – rating people as good, bad, or otherwise – I find that identifying the Brasilians with whom I made contact as good blood doesn’t serve the process of self-disturbance. It’s merely an expression of gratitude.
How about you, do you maintain fond memories and reflect upon them as good, pleasant, happy, or otherwise? If doing so brings a smile to your face, it would seem as though the qualifiers you use aren’t in need of change.
On the other hand, if you look into the past and consider undesirable memories as bad, unpleasant, unhappy, or otherwise, I may be able to help you accept what merely is without upsetting yourself with unfavorable beliefs. If you’d like to know more, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Curitiba. (2005, October 28). Sangue bom. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sangue%20Bom
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations
Hollings, D. (2024, September 20). Holding church. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/holding-church
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2022, December 14). The is-ought problem. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-is-ought-problem
Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux
Discogs. (n.d.). Realidade Cruel. Retrieved from https://www.discogs.com/artist/3336549-Realidade-Cruel
Realidade Cruel Oficial. (2021, March 26). Só Sangue Bom [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/IRbWCcBcn_o?si=73vsu7tuqRqf1nrk
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