On his 1998 album You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby, electronic dance music (EDM) artist Fatboy Slim released a song called “Right Here, Right Now.” In frequent repetition, lyrics include, “Right here, right now,” and, “Waking up to find your love’s not real.”
Considering this track through a Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) framework, I appreciate emphasis on the present, because people cannot control the past or future. This is in accordance with the concept of unconditional life acceptance (ULA).
Essentially, ULA posits that life is imperfect and doesn’t unfold in a way we may irrationally believe it should, must, or ought to. Therefore, rather than disturbing ourselves with such rigid demands we can instead unconditionally accept life as it is.
As well, “Right Here, Right Now” aligns with Stephen Covey’s concept of the circle of concern. This sphere of life envelopes the matters over which people have no control, such as the past or future, and though these elements may be concerning we don’t have to upset ourselves about such issues.
Paradoxically, at 22-years-old, when Fatboy Slim’s song was released, I didn’t focus on the here-and-now when listening to the track. Rather, I mindlessly tended to various tasks while bobbing my head to the beat.
Now, at 47-years-old, I understand the value of remaining grounded in the moment—especially when undesirable instances present themselves (e.g., paying attention to troublesome world events). I realize that matters within the circle of concern require my use of ULA.
This is a process that takes place right here, right now, as I intentionally practice this technique as a means to not upset myself with unhelpful beliefs about issues over which I have no control or influence. Still, it isn’t necessarily easy or comfortable to accept truth in the moment.
The tendency of an irrational mind is to deny reality and adopt irrationality. Take for instance the lyrics of “Right Here, Right Now” which state, “Waking up to find your love’s not real.”
Have you ever upset yourself during the process of a failing romantic relationship? Have you ever come to terms with the fact that the person you’ve loved doesn’t share your sentiment? Perhaps the individual’s love was never real in the first place.
If you’ve been in this predicament, can you recall what you told yourself about the matter? Did you unproductively demand that things shouldn’t, mustn’t, or oughtn’t to have been as they were?
Did you awfulize about the relationship or tell yourself that you couldn’t stand that your love wasn’t reciprocated? At some point, did you unreasonably conclude that nobody was worthy of your love or that maybe it was you who was undeserving of affection?
As you drowned in a metaphorical sea of self-disturbing despair, how focused where you on the here-and-now? I suspect that you contemplated the rising and falling waves of the past and future as you succumbed to the misery of your mental, emotional, physical, and behavioral processes.
If so, you didn’t need to do such a thing, though it’s understandable how you may have disturbed yourself in such a manner. If we’re being honest with one another, I suspect you’ve also languished in agony about a past romantic relationship, which was also unnecessary.
When working with clients through the use of REBT techniques, I assist people with the practice of ULA and the circle of concern so that the undesirable events inherent in life won’t result in an abyss of self-disturbed anguish. After all, life can only be lived right here, right now, so why not affect change when and where you actually can?
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s original EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Fatboy Slim. (2010, March 18). Fatboy Slim - Right Here, Right Now [Official 4K video] [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/ub747pprmJ8?si=WNVTjSMCrK3Bowjl
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
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