Imagine seeking mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”) services from a psychotherapist who practices Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)—a psychotherapeutic modality focused on the ABC model and unconditional acceptance (UA).
The first REBT technique illustrates how when an Activating event occurs and you maintain irrational Beliefs about the situation, it’s your unhelpful attitude and not the occurrence itself that causes unpleasant Consequences (e.g., anger, racing heartrate, and assaultive behavior).
For example, when visiting an aquatic sanctuary, a dolphin smiles at you (Activating event). You unproductively Believe, “A lesser species shouldn’t insult me with its mocking smile, because it’s awful being the butt of a joke! Because I can’t stand being made to look a fool, I’m gonna fuck up this piece of shit dolphin!”
As a result of your unfavorable attitude, you become angry, your heartrate increases, and you begin punching a dolphin in the face (Consequence). Here, a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection caused your assaultive behavior.
Consequently, your unruly conduct (Activating event) results in apprehension by local law enforcement (Consequence). You self-disturbed by use of a B-C connection, though your violent performance at the aquatic sanctuary results in an Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
Noteworthy, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people upset themselves using a B-C connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no A-C connection. Our actions have consequences, as do our unfavorable beliefs.
Thus, when seeking the services of an REBT practitioner, a psychotherapist attempts to help people stop disturbing themselves through use of B-C connections, though the therapist can’t fully resolve client A-C connections. Sometimes, people behave poorly and get arrested.
The second REBT tool uses UA to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
When seeking mental health treatment or management of your issues, an REBT psychotherapist favorably uses psychoeducation to teach you about the ABC model and UA. Perhaps you initially understand, believe in, and practice this helpful psychotherapeutic modality.
However, the therapist encourages you to practice REBT on a daily basis, and you illogically and unreasonably conclude that you’ll use the psychotherapeutic techniques only when attending therapy sessions. With this approach, how successful do you think you’ll be at living rationally?
Perhaps you feel better when attending sessions. However, you don’t actually get better when not routinely practicing REBT techniques. Congratulations! You’ve wasted time and money by not taking personal responsibility and accountability for your psychotherapeutic outcome!
Now imagine that after a period of time you terminate your mental health care services. “Therapy doesn’t work,” you unhelpfully conclude while using a global evaluation regarding mental health in general.
Perchance you’d rather punch a dolphin in the face than to experience discomfort inherent in Dealing with the Bullshit you tell yourself. Is that the manner in which you wish to behave? If so, far be it for me – an REBT practitioner – to tell you how you should, must, or ought to act.
Still, have you considered that perhaps you were wrong about the dolphin’s smile? According to one source, “Despite the human perception of their ‘anatomical smile’ as a friendly feature, the role of facial communication in managing playful encounters remains unexplored in dolphins.”
Who knows if the dolphin was mocking you? After all, dolphin’s smiles are a largely unexplored phenomenon. Therefore, could it be possible that you physically battered a dolphin due to little other than the misperceived meaning of an aquatic creature’s anatomical smile?
Is that truly the manner in which you wish to behave in this world – to favor rage, hostility, aggression, and violence than to call-out your own bullshit? If not, I’m here to help. However, before contacting me, I invite you to understand that daily practice of REBT may be necessary.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Freepik. (n.d.). Beautiful dolphin exotic background [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-ai-image/beautiful-dolphin-exotic-background_94941667.htm#fromView=search&page=2&position=2&uuid=5fa645d8-d2bb-4e3e-9912-d59c84561da7
Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing
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Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2022, December 23). The A-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-a-c-connection
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Hollings, D. (2024, June 19). Treatment vs. management. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/treatment-vs-management
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
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Maglieri, V., Vantaggio, F., Pilenga, C., Boye, M., Lemasson, A., Favaro, L., and Palagi, E. (2024, October 2). Smiling underwater: Exploring playful signals and rapid mimicry in bottlenose dolphins. iScience. Retrieved from https://www.cell.com/iscience/fulltext/S2589-0042(24)02191-6
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