In a blogpost entitled Stoically Existential, I used content from a song by Los Angeles (LA), California emcee Reverie to highlight a rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) concept. Not only do I appreciate her hip hop style, I value Reverie’s unvarnished perspective on life.
Likewise, I’ve used content from songs of LA lyricist Murs in a similar fashion. For instance, I posted an extensive piece in an entry entitled How Will You Choose to Walk? Admittedly, Murs remains one of my favorite west coast lyricists.
In the current blogpost, I turn toward Murs’ 2017 album Captain California. In particular, I’m focusing on track nine which is called “One Uh Those Days” and which features Reverie. Regarding this submission, I consider Reverie’s verse worthy of examination. Lyrics include:
I can’t wait to quit this fuckin’ job
Light up my cigarette
Exhale the negativity and hop on to the bus
I’m stinkin’ like some French fries
I’m thirsty, I’m tired
Tomorrow, I might cuss my boss out, then get fired
Sittin’ in the corner, mindin’ my business
(Fuck you lookin’ at?)
Got nothin’ better to do than start problems on public transportation
What a pathetic existence
She’s doggin’ with persistence, uh
This bitch is comin’ up to me, “Girl, you don’t wanna fuck with me!”
Waste no time, post up, blows thrown
The shit you gotta deal with in the big city, just tryin’ to go home
What a shitty day, can’t wait to hit my sheets
I can’t wait to get my car, I’m fuckin’ tired of these streets
(I’m fuckin’ sick of this fuckin’ bullshit)
sound of a waking alarm
Yo, today been hella breezy, receivin’ hella tips
Next customer in line, I can’t believe it’s that bitch (Oh, hell no)
I gotta be professional, so I ain’t poppin’ off
But don’t trip, I’ll put that special in that extra special sauce, ho
Viewing Reverie’s verse through the lens of REBT, I consider the ABC model which illustrates how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what cause unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance (LFT), and global evaluations. In REBT, the process of upsetting oneself with these unfavorable beliefs is referred to as self-disturbance.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of these unproductive assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Noteworthy, Actions and Consequences aren’t Disputed, only unproductive Beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, if you work in the fast food industry (Action), then you may smell like the food which is served at your place of employment (Consequence). From an A-C perspective, people who work around French fries may smell like the potato side dish after work.
Alternatively, when someone stares at you while riding the bus (Action) and you unhelpfully Believe, “I can’t stand people who mad dog me,” then you’ll likely self-upset into an angry disposition (Consequence). Thus, self-disturbance is caused by a B-C connection.
In “One Uh Those Days” Reverie utilizes a number of self-disturbing beliefs. As an example, she states, “I can’t wait to quit this fuckin’ job,” which makes use of an LFT narrative.
If LFT had a catchphrase, it would be something along the lines of “I can’t stand it!” When using this self-disturbing attitude, a person convinces oneself that the self, others, or life is literally intolerable and unacceptable.
Expressing that one “can’t wait” for something, like Reverie later declares, “I can’t wait to get my car,” the individual unproductively assumes that the matter at hand is completely unbearable. This sort of rigid assumption causes a B-C connection.
Aside from LFT beliefs, Reverie makes use of a global evaluation when determining that a bus passenger’s life represents “a pathetic existence.” REBT theory maintains that people issue negative ratings of the self, others, and life. These ratings are also called evaluations.
When Reverie negatively rates someone’s life as pathetic, the emcee unhelpful neglects counterbalancing information about the person, such as whether or not the other individual may care for an ailing relative or serve in the role of a healthy parent.
Another self-upsetting example occurs when the emcee states that she’s having “a shitty day.” Although it’s possible that many undesirable things happened throughout the day, I’d ask whether or not there was at least one redeeming quality to the otherwise unpleasant day.
Thus, global evaluations are considered limiting and largely unhelpful. Further disturbing herself, Reverie uses demandingness in the form of distorted inferences which allude to self-disturbing should, must, or ought-type narratives.
In the song, Reverie states, “Girl, you don’t wanna fuck with me!” The inference is that the other individual shouldn’t bother the emcee. As well, when stating, “The shit you gotta deal with in the big city,” Reverie infers that there are unfavorable matters with which one should contend when in the city.
In and of themselves, should-type beliefs aren’t necessarily unproductive. For instance, stating, “I gotta be professional” is an example of a helpful form of recommendatory should narrative. Recommendatorily, one should be professional at work in order to remain employed.
However, use of absolutistic or conditional demanding narratives is what plays a key role in the B-C connection. When Reverie perceives a violation of her self-disturbed beliefs, the consequence of these beliefs is misbehavior (i.e., I’ll put that special in that extra special sauce).
Recommendatorily, one shouldn’t engage in conflict with people who serve one’s food. If you know, you know. “Special sauce” isn’t a desirable addition to one’s food, in this example.
Combining LFT, global evaluation, and inferred demandingness, Reverie maintains, “I’m fuckin’ sick of this fuckin’ bullshit.” In essence, she convinces herself that she can’t stand the entirely dis-pleasurable day and that life shouldn’t be so difficult.
I appreciate Reverie’s contribution to “One Uh Those Days,” because it fantastically illustrates the manner by which so many people upset themselves. Who among us hasn’t had one of those days when things just don’t seem to go our way?
Alas, we don’t have to make matters worse than they already appear to be. Using REBT techniques, we can stop negatively contributing to disagreeable circumstances. Thus, we can have one of those days while also choosing to refrain from self-disturbing about the matter.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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