When living in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil (1999-2000), I often heard of sightings in regard to unidentified flying objects (UFOs) which are contemporarily referred to as unidentified aerial phenomenon (UAP). Personally, none were ever witnessed while in Rio.
Nevertheless, as I lived close to Pedra da Gávea at the time—a place reportedly connected to UFO activity, I later edited a photo of my time in Rio with a UAP in the background to serve as a wisecrack about the topic. Some people may’ve seen UFOs, though never in my life have I.
Recently, I’ve heard reports about UFOs in the United States (U.S.) which have largely been reported to be “drones.” It appears as though many people have diverging opinions as to whether or not these UAPs are the product of U.S. or foreign governments, or even extraterrestrial.
Equally, I’ve encountered discussion about an OnlyFans content creator who reportedly engaged in sex with 100 men in one day and who’s apparently preparing to have sex with 1,000 men in a day. Reportedly, she’s trying to beat the record of sex with 919 men in a 24-hour period by one woman.
While I’ve heard people express shock about UAPs in the U.S. as of recent, I’ve heard similar consternation regarding what I’m referring to as sex work (I consider OnlyFans as a form of sex work). When further contemplating this matter, I’m reminded of a Project Pat song.
One of the former members of the Hypnotize Camp Posse, closely associated with the Three 6 Mafia, I’ve appreciated the rapper’s unique lyrical style for many years. During a historical time when rappers and lyricists needed to stand out from one another, Project Pat didn’t disappoint.
On his 2001 album Mista Don’t Play: Everythangs Workin, Project Pat released the track “Don’t Save Her,” featuring Three 6 Mafia member Crunchy Black. The song served as an advisement to men not to simp (going above and beyond) for hoes.
Commonly misunderstood in both spelling and meaning, “ho” is the singular form of “whore” and “hoes” is the plural form of “whores.” Formally, a whore is a person who engages in sex acts and especially sexual intercourse in exchange for pay, typically a woman.
Colloquially, a ho is a woman who has multiple sexual partners: a woman who is sexually promiscuous. Although I didn’t create this disparagingly offensive term, I did grow up using it and hearing it bandied about quite often within hip hop.
Noteworthy, not all hoes are women. Apparently, there are some male hoes. Likewise, not all hoes are said to accept payment for sexual intercourse. Some simply enjoy promiscuity. Moreover, not all women are considered hoes. This pejorative term is used only toward some people.
Regarding the current blogpost, Project Pat stated on the track, “Two things I ain’t never in my life done seen before is a UFO or a ho that wouldn’t go.” Have you ever seen the former? Also, I’ll leave it up to the reader to consider whether or not you’ve observed the latter.
Implying that a ho won’t go is to suggest that a typically promiscuous woman atypically refuses to engage in sexual activity, essentially implying that she is playing hard to get. Perhaps you won’t get past the fact that a psychotherapist is using such language when addressing this matter.
“I can’t believe Deric is freely discussing the word ‘ho’ without disavowing the offensive term,” you may think. At this point in the post, I’ll invite you to practice rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). In particular, you may be served well by the ABC model.
REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Activating event (“Action”) occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant emotional, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
For example, you read a blogpost wherein a psychotherapist repeatedly uses the word “ho” (Action) and you unhelpfully Believe, “I can’t stand when people use offensive terms, because it’s awful when they do – especially if it’s a behavioral health care provider using that phrase!”
Rather than an Action-Consequence connection, your use of a Belief-Consequence connection is what causes you to become outraged (Consequence). Thus, you upset yourself with an unfavorable attitude in regard to something a psychotherapist stated in his blog.
Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that’s used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.
In addition to the ABC model, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Project Pat stated, “Two things I ain’t never in my life done seen before is a UFO or a ho that wouldn’t go,” I merely referenced the rapper’s statement, and you can accept without unproductive conditions the fact that not everyone shares your moral and ethical outlook.
Besides, it’s worth considering what I stated in a blog entry entitled Body Count:
As a matter of full disclosure, in blogposts entitled Story of Erica, Cybersex, I Can’t Take It, and M-M-M-Musterbation, I discuss my view on pornography and sex work. TL;DR: I’m not opposed to it.
If a woman chooses to rack up 1,000 bodies in a 24-hour period, that has nothing to do with me and isn’t within my circles of control or influence. Similarly, if UAPs are flying over the U.S., the matter is within my circle of concern, because I have zero control or influence over the issue.
Further still, I care far less about things I never in my life done seen before than I do about the fact that while people have been focused on the skies and in between the legs of an OnlyFans content creator our government has finally admitted that there were federal informants present at Jan 6th.
For context, I stated in a post entitled Believer that “suspension of judgment is justified in regard to the number of federal agents and informants at the [U.S.] Capitol building on January 6, 2021, because that information hasn’t been released and is thus unknowable to the general public.”
Now, I know what I’d previously suspected all along – the U.S. government played some role in Jan. 6th. Rather than distractingly worrying about UFOs or a ho that will or won’t go, I’ll continue advocating justice for Jan. 6th participants who didn’t engage in violent action.
With hope, all unjustifiably detained or incarcerated Jan 6th political prisoners will be freed and pardoned. Although I have no control or influence in this matter, I remain rationally concerned with the gross abuse of power exerted by the U.S. government regarding the Jan. 6th cohort.
Perhaps you maintain a different outlook. That’s fine by me. I don’t unhelpfully demand that you should, must, or ought to believe as I do. For all I care, you can gaze at the sky for UFOs, stare at an OnlyFans content creator, or look away as injustice permeates the U.S. legal system. It’s your choice.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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