On his debut studio album Excuse My French (2013), rapper French Montana (“Montana”) released the song “Ain’t Worried About Nothin’,” as Diddy appeared in the video for the track and French Montana repeatedly stated, “Nigga, I ain’t worried ‘bout nothin’ (nothing’).”
Given his current legal issues, one imagines that Montana’s declaration isn’t accurate for Diddy at this moment. Nevertheless, I maintain that Diddy is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. So far, the mounting evidence against him doesn’t bode well for the entertainer.
That matter aside, I appreciate Montana’s laissez-faire attitude—a position granted for a specific purpose in regard to a philosophy or practice characterized by a usually deliberate abstention from direction or interference, especially with individual freedom of choice and action.
This is my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health” or “psychological health”) whether practicing as a psychotherapist or life coach. Allow me to explain.
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption and not the occurrence itself that causes an unpleasant Consequence.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, rather than a helpful laissez-faire approach, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of these unproductive assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Thus, REBT advocates a reduction of self-disturbance.
Sometimes people misunderstand an attempt to un-disturb themselves with REBT techniques as a form of brainwashing—a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas.
Regarding this matter, one REBT source states that “a commonly asked question is: ‘But don’t REBT therapists tell their clients what to feel and what to do?” (page 93). Here, a necessary distinction may be highlighted in regard to feelings and cognitions.
When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, I invite people to consider that feelings relate to either (1) emotions (i.e., joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, etc.) or (2) sensations (i.e., tightness in one’s shoulders, tingling in the legs, pain in one’s back, etc.).
Alternatively, cognitions relate to the process of relating to, being, or involving conscious intellectual activity (such as thinking, reasoning, or remembering). The author of the aforementioned REBT source likely refers to colloquial use of “feel” regarding cognition.
Distinction aside, I’m uninterested in telling clients what to think (cognition), how to feel (emotion), or what to do (behavior). Thus, I’m not interested in brainwashing people. Building upon this approach to psychological health, the referenced REBT source adds (page 93):
As an REBT therapist, I keenly discriminate between healthy and unhealthy negative emotions. My initial goal is to help my clients minimize their disturbance about negative A’s [Actions], while encouraging them to acknowledge, experience and channel their healthy distress about these A’s.
However, as I will make clear during therapy you have a choice concerning what to feel and how to act. Just because REBT theory advocates that you minimize your disturbed feelings, but not your distressed feelings, it does not follow that you have to agree with this view.
The same is true of behaviour. I may well point out to you the self-defeating nature of your behaviour, but I will certainly not insist that you follow my lead.
When helping people with their mental health, I’m not attempting to completely resolve all of their negative emotions. One imagines that total resolution of these innate experiences is death. Regarding the distinction between disturbed feelings and distressed feelings, one source states:
The goal of REBT is to strive to experience strong healthy negative emotions regarding adverse challenges within our lives, as opposed to unhealthy negative emotions: this is the difference between feeling healthily distressed versus unhealthily disturbed.
Additionally, for every unhealthy emotion, there is an unhelpful behavior to accompany it, and both are the result of irrational beliefs/attitudes. Likewise, healthy emotions are generally linked to helpful and functional behaviors, both of which can be attributed to rational beliefs/attitudes.
As an example, since I’ve already evoked death, let’s stick with that theme. Suppose that the most beloved person in your life dies today. You may feel sorrow, which is a healthy negative emotion. You may also cry, withdraw from others, and take time to mourn (healthy distress).
However, imagine that with an unhelpful belief-consequence connection you instead experience symptoms of complicated grief whereby your debilitated state is accompanied by inadequate nutrition, thoughts of suicide, staying in bed for a week, and so forth (unhealthy disturbance).
Helping people to experience healthy negative emotions, associated with healthy distress (i.e., the natural grief process), versus unhealthy self-disturbance is my aim. Regarding this approach and how Montana’s lyrics relate, the original REBT source cited herein states (page 93):
As an REBT therapist I have my preferences concerning how my clients feel and behave in relation to the issue of psychological health and disturbance and I may well articulate these preferences during therapy.
After all, I genuinely want to help you live a psychologically healthy life and I believe that REBT has a good theory to help you do this. However, as an REBT therapist I respect your freedom and will not transmute my preferences into musts on this issue, even if this means that you may continue to perpetuate your psychological problems. I will, of course, explore the reasons for this, but will not in the final analysis insist that you do the healthy thing.
Generally, I care about the clients with whom I work and I prefer for them not to disturb themselves. However, “I ain’t worried ‘bout nothin’” if or when they reject the practice of REBT. After all, each of my clients is encouraged to practice personal ownership in their lives.
While it’s my objective to promote understanding of and belief in REBT, each of my clients is personally responsible and accountable for their own outcomes. In this regard, my laissez-faire attitude about their disturbance keeps me from disturbing in my own life.
Ultimately, I try to help people, not guaranteeing help or irrationally demanding that I must help them. In closing, the originally cited REBT source states, “REBT therapists are quite laissez-faire about their clients’ feelings and behaviour” (page 93). Thus, “I ain’t worried ‘bout nothin’.”
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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French Montana. (2013, May 7). French Montana – Ain’t Worried About Nothin’ (Explicit) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/PD6AfcoG4o8?si=SFLL8tSilj-BMne8
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