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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

My Attitude

 

Nena

 

Shortly after having begun elementary school, I recall having heard the English version of “99 Red Balloons” (1984) from West German band Nena. The original track “99 Luftballons” was also played by popular mediums, though I preferred a version that my young mind could understand.

 

Of course, I didn’t fully comprehend the meaning of the song in either language. To illustrate what I mean, forgive a relatively lengthy explanation cited from one source:

 

The lyrics of the original German version tell a story: 99 balloons are mistaken for UFOs, causing a military general to send pilots to investigate. Finding nothing but balloons, the pilots put on a large show of firepower.

 

The display of force worries the nations along the borders and the defense ministers on each side encourage conflict to grab power for themselves. In the end, a cataclysmic war results from the otherwise harmless flight of balloons and causes devastation on all sides without a victor, as indicated in the denouement of the song: “99 Jahre Krieg ließen keinen Platz für Sieger,” which means “99 years of war left no room for victors.”

 

The anti-war song finishes with the singer walking through the devastated ruins of the world and finding a single balloon. The description of what happens in the final line of the piece is the same in German and English: “‘Denk’ an dich und lass’ ihn fliegen,” or “Think of you and let it go” [also interpreted as let it fly].

 

Hailing from Amarillo, Texas – a location colloquially known as “Bomb City,” due to a site at which the largest stockpile of nuclear weapons in the United States (U.S.) is maintained – I grasped the concept of the song when an older family member explained it to me.

 

As well, my dad was a former hippie turned Jehovah’s Witness who openly opposed war in all its earthly forms. Therefore, while not fully comprehending the song’s implicit meaning, I vaguely understood that it was advocating an anti-war message.

 

Adding context to “99 Red Balloons,” one source clarifies, “This is actually a protest song about the placing of American missiles in Europe during the Cold War and the risk it poses for a nuclear holocaust.” Perhaps the song hasn’t been as relevant since the Cold War as it is today.

 

Brink of disaster

 

Rather than relying on hyperbole to make a point, I think it’s worthwhile to qualify that last sentence. According to one 2023 United Nations (UN) source:

 

The Russian Federation’s recent announcement of plans to station non-strategic nuclear weapons in Belarus represents the first “nuclear sharing” agreement made since the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons entered into force in 1970, the senior United Nations disarmament official told the Security Council today, emphasizing that — against the backdrop of the Ukraine conflict — the risk such arms will be used is higher today than at any time since the end of the Cold War.

 

Of course presentation of a false dichotomy concerning the supposedly evil Russians versus the presumably righteous UN is farcical. Although a this-or-that scenario may be easier to psychologically digest, rarely (if ever) are matters in life as simple as that.

 

To illustrate this point, in a blogpost entitled Shadowboxin’ I addressed an issue similar to that regarding the implicit content of “99 Red Balloons” by comparing Ukrainian and Russian conflict to a scenario in which foreign nations hypothetically placed weapons of mass destruction in Mexico by stating:

 

The scenario provided herein obscurely relates to the proxy war taking place in the Ukraine. Whereas the Ukraine is represented by Mexico, the U.S. by Russia, China by the United Nations, and India by the U.S., each of these represented entities are arguably plunging the globe into World War III (WWIII).

 

I see no plausible sequence of events other than for the U.S. to respond with aggressive behavior if a foreign nation placed weapons of mass destruction in Mexico which potentially threatened the security of our nation. Placing U.S. missiles in Europe during the Cold War had similar consequences.

 

Likewise, the UN placing weapons of mass destruction in Ukraine may lead to undesirable outcomes. Also, the U.S. stationing such weaponry in relatively close proximity to Russian territory isn’t much different than what occurred during the Cold War. According to one source:

 

On July 10 [2024], the United States said it will start deployment in Germany from 2026 of weapons that will include SM-6s and Tomahawks, previously placed mainly on ships, and new hypersonic missiles. These are conventional systems but some could also, in theory, be fitted with nuclear tips, and security experts said Russian planning would have to allow for that possibility.

 

Provocation of Russia is already underway. Meanwhile, a separate source reports, “US to send more troops to Middle East after Israeli strikes in Lebanon.” Arguably, the U.S. is engaged in proxy wars with Russia and whomever the state of Israel considers a threat in the moment.

 

When engaging with nations which maintain nuclear weaponry, I reflect upon “99 Red Balloons” while using the wisdom of an adult. In particular, I consider how helpful it would be to practice a peaceful existence instead of provoking other nations, as we could simply “think of you and let it go,” per the song.

 

REBT

 

To clarify my proposal, it may be useful to describe the psychotherapeutic modality I practice, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), and how this method of rational living functions. Thus, I submit to you the following.

 

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. In REBT literature, irrational beliefs are sometimes referred to as personal philosophies or attitudes. For instance, in the book Creative Marriage – an REBT perspective on marriage, authors state:

 

People go into marriage (or premarital affairs) with a basic set of assumptions, beliefs, attitudes, or philosophies of living. If their basic assumptions are objective, open-minded, and rational, their behavior, both in and out of marriage, will likewise tend to be reasonable and undisturbed (pages 17-18).

 

The current post relates to attitudes, with understanding that this term is synonymous with one’s irrational beliefs and not an individual’s temperament. When using this position assumed for a specific purpose, people upset themselves when their attitudes aren’t rational.

 

Take a moment to reflect upon a time when you’ve been criticized for your attitude regarding various events.  Did your attitude serve you well? Addressing such beliefs, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful philosophies in order to explore Effective new beliefs.

 

From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

 

Giving an example, as a child I learned about nuclear weapons and how when they are employed during wartime (Action), this activating event could produce mass casualties (Consequence). From an A-C perspective, atomic and nuclear weapon deployment can cause death.

 

Nevertheless, it wasn’t a “99 Red Balloons” event that caused fear within me back then. Instead, unhelpfully Believing, “People shouldn’t use nuclear weapons,” or more absolutistically, “I shouldn’t die as a result of a nuclear holocaust,” is what caused my fearful disposition (Consequence).

 

Using a B-C connection, my attitude resulted in frightful consideration of a “99 Red Balloons” event. When working as a psychotherapist, I try to help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections.

 

Furthermore, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.

 

Scarface

 

Unaware of REBT throughout my youth, I used rigid attitudes to disturb myself quite often. At that stage of life, I relied heavily upon music to help distract me from discomfort associated with my irrational beliefs about myself, others, and life.

 

When I was in high school, my then-favorite southern lyricist Scarface, of the legendary Geto Boys, released a solo album entitled The Diary (1994). The anthology featured a song called “Goin’ Down,” as the hook ostensibly used the melody of “99 Red Balloons.” Lyrics included:

 

Please excuse my attitude, sorry if I’m being rude

But I’ve got something to say to you

Hoping you won’t lose your cool

I wanna sneak you out to play with me

You can spend the day with me

And we can ride and see the sights

It’s goin’ down tonight

 

Whereas Nena advocated a “think of you and let it go” perspective of self-disturbing attitudes, my healthy interpretation of Scarface’s lyrics relates to excusing (unconditionally accepting and disputing) people and their unhealthy beliefs, respectively. Perhaps you wonder what I mean.

 

UA advocates complete tolerance and acceptance concerning the fallibility of humanity and life as it is. It’s when we use unhelpful conditional should statements such as, “I shouldn’t accept that people are imperfect unless their actions don’t impact me,” that we inevitably self-disturb.

 

When inflexible attitudes like this are disputed, we can then excuse self-disturbing narratives and adopt more adaptive beliefs. Thus, a “please excuse my attitude,” and, “it’s goin’ down” perspective can relate to one colloquial use of the latter expression as meaning that something is about to take place.

 

In summary, when an Action occurs and an attitudinal Belief of a self-disturbing variety presents itself, an unpleasant Consequence occurs. However, when we Dispute (excuse) the unproductive attitude – when it’s goin’ down in the interest of rationality – we may achieve Effective new beliefs.

 

Conclusion

 

When I was a child, I didn’t fully understand the line “think of you and let it go” or “let it fly” from “99 Red Balloons.” Considering that the world is likely at or headed toward the brink of disaster, I now reflect upon the Nena song through the lens of REBT.

 

It’s understandable how self-disturbing attitudes about the potential of nuclear war function. People unhelpfully believe they have control or influence over the behavior of nation states which stir up conflict – much as is arguably the case with the U.S. and UN ostensibly provoking Russia and other countries.

 

However, rather than allowing myself to experience fear of nuclear holocaust as I did in childhood, I now think of the unproductive attitude causing my unpleasant consequence and I simply “let it go.” What other option do I have, to self-disturb while having no legitimate ability to change the actions of world leaders?

 

Likewise, I contemplate the words of Scarface, who apparently used the melody of “99 Red Balloons” in his song “Goin’ Down.” When unfavorable attitudes about matters which I can’t control or influence arise, I excuse them, because “it’s goin’ down” when I practice disputation and UA.

 

Given the method of rational living outlined herein, how might you react when unhealthy attitudes about yourself, others, and life present themselves? If you’d like to know more about how to stop the process of self-disturbance, I’m here to help.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


Photo credit (edited), photo credit (edited), fair use

 

References:

 

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