Photo credit, property of 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment, fair use
There’s a scene in the 1999 comedy film Office Space in which the main character is fed up with work and complains to his coworkers about his job. When another colleague hears of his discontent she obnoxiously states, “Uh oh, sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.”
For years, I over-identified with the lead character and his aversion to occupational settings in which coworkers made similarly annoying references about how unpleasant Mondays apparently were. I also reasoned that I was fed up with a corporate culture of perpetual meetings and I wanted to escape.
Looking back at that time, through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I understand that my job wasn’t the problem. Rather, personal values clashed with systemic values of corporate culture.
A value may be defined as something (such as a principle or quality) intrinsically cherished or desirable. As an example, I valued devotion of my time to meaningful work projects though many people with whom I worked appeared to value socializing rather than working toward project completion.
From an REBT perspective, I comprehend how I upset myself with unhelpful assumptions about clashing values between myself and my colleagues. Thus, it wasn’t that Mondays were the worst, because an unnecessary attitude caused my reaction. To better understand this process, it may be useful to know how REBT functions.
REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, if I received a papercut when working for a former employer (Action), then my finger may’ve hurt (Consequence). A direct A-C causative relationship exists in this physical world example.
However, when coworkers used annoying expressions (Action) and I unproductively Believed, “I can’t stand these obnoxious sayings and people who use them are complete idiots,” my B-C connection then resulted in the unpleasant Consequence of emotional irritation.
When practicing REBT, I help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. Papercuts will occur though irritation with the behavior of work colleagues doesn’t have to happen.
In addition to the ABC model, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Thus, rather than disturbing myself with beliefs about obnoxious comments and unproductive occupational behavior, I could’ve tolerated and accepted the values clash present with former colleagues. When further contemplating a “case of the Mondays,” one hip hop song comes to mind.
On his 2013 album No Poison No Paradise, lyricist Black Milk released a track entitled “Monday’s Worst” that featured a sample of Nat Turner Rebellion’s song “Never Too Late.” The hook states:
[Nat Turner Rebellion]
It’s never too late to get your values straight
Can you believe me, baby?
It’s never too late to get your values straight (no, no)
Do you believe me?
Rather than self-disturbing about frustrating experiences, such as disagreeable comments made by coworkers or an ineffective work environment, you can change your beliefs. In so doing, you’re able to get your values straight enough to continue unbothered by beliefs about your Monday.
Noteworthy, rather than helping people to merely feel better, REBT aims to help people get better. The former relates to venting while at work while the latter involves active-directive reduction of self-disturbance. With this in mind, consider the first verse of “Monday’s Worst”:
Heater on the dresser, stomach growling
I’m thinkin’, “How can I make some dollars within the hours?”
It’s funny how them hunger pangs to your rib can
Turn a decent kid to doing a bid
Over stickups, nothing come, so screw the Consequences
I’ll throw this black hoodie on, walk into this kitchen
Grab my keys and my phone, call my mans to see if he’s with it
But he didn’t pick up; I guess I’m on a solo mission
Times hard, my God, I can’t even lie
A 9-5 is not what I’m tryna do to survive
I’m thinking while on the hunt
Somebody ‘bout to stumble out of this club drunk
Without having that chain tucked
‘Bout to get that fucking chain took, nigga
In the verse, Black Milk unhelpfully determines that a job isn’t what appeals to him. Apparently having contemplated inherent risks associated with committing armed robbery, the lyricist unproductively tells himself to “screw the Consequences” of an A-C connection.
For instance, robbing someone (Action) may result in apprehension or retaliation (Consequence). Deterministically concluding that one should, must, or ought to choose a life of crime rather than to subject oneself to a case of the Mondays is an example of the B-C connection. The second and final verse concludes:
Yeah, in the club, chain hanging, swinging, wow
Baby moms is sending texts and sending threats like
“Where those payments?”
On some deadbeat dad shit, I hate you in the worst way
Spend money on Rosé, instead of your son’s birthday
Mad quick, I told her, “Hold up, hold up, be there tomorrow”
Then went back up to the bar to get another glass and a bottle
Okay, can’t let her ruin my high tonight, not alright
Plus I pulled this chick
With every sipm she’s looking more and more like the model type
Ayo, let’s leave, I take her, reach for my keys
I’m stumbling out the door looking for my car on the street
‘Til I see this black-hood wearning, staring nigga tryna stick up
Shots go off, I fell victim, damn…
It’s too late
Cleverly, Black Milk depicted the mind of the shooter in verse one and the mental process of the victim in verse two. The former self-disturbed into unfavorable behavior which led to committing criminal homicide during a robbery.
The latter exercised poor decision-making while ignoring personal responsibility, and wound up being murdered. Both of these individuals maintained values, driven by unproductive beliefs, which resulted in unfavorable consequences.
Situations don’t have to turn out like this. Whether it’s tolerating annoyance in the workplace or accepting responsibility for one’s personal values, rational living may better serve one’s interests and goals than irrationality in the long run.
And although I appreciate the sentiment of Nat Turner Rebellion’s suggestion, sometimes it actually may be too late to get your values straight. Before you reach the inevitable point of death, you have time to turn Monday’s worst into today’s good-enough. If you’d like to know more about how this is accomplished, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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