When listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set from Marixia, I heard the track “Mind Over Matter” by Emanuel Satie, MAGA, Sean Doron, and Tim Engelhardt. Lyrics include “music,” played in the background, and “let me enter into your mind, let me enter in.”
To me, the track is reminiscent of ‘90s-era house music songs. Beyond nostalgic enjoyment, I consider the phrase “mind over matter” which is used to describe a situation in which someone is able to control or influence a physical condition, problem, etc., by using the mind.
When providing psychoeducational lessons regarding my approach to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I invite people to consider how little control and influence they have in life. Regarding this matter, in a blogpost entitled Concern and No Concern, I stated:
I draw heavily upon Stephen Covey’s concept of the circles of concern and influence in this regard. Essentially, one’s circle of control is the self, the circle of influence relates to others, and the circle of concern encompasses everything else on Earth.
Helpfully, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering in regard to these circles. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
For instance, you control only yourself—and to a limited degree. Because you’re a fallible human being, you cannot possibly control everything. As an example, you can alter your irrational beliefs. However, you can’t altogether stop automatic beliefs from occurring.
Therefore, you can use USA to tolerate and accept those matters over which you have no control. Refusal to employ this helpful technique may lead to self-disturbance—the process whereby you upset yourself with unhelpful beliefs. Unhelpfully, many people self-disturb on a regular basis.
Now, unlike matters which concern only you, you can’t control other people. Although you may be able to influence individuals directly or indirectly, the same human fallibility that applies to you is also inherent in them. At our core, we’re all merely imperfect beings.
Thus, just as you don’t have full control over yourself, it’s logical and reasonable (collectively “rational”) to conclude that other people aren’t in full control of themselves. Still, they may be subject to persuasion. Irrationally, many people self-disturb when instead using demandingness.
Rather than spiraling down a proverbial drain of delusion, you can instead use UOA with those over which you have no control and little influence. USA is used with the circle of control and UOA is used with the circle of influence. What then is done about the circle of concern?
Life itself is an imperfect experience over which you have exceedingly little control or influence. The circle of concern encapsulates matters of global war, natural disasters, the past, and other elements which are impermanent and uncertain, as you can’t alter most of these features of life.
The same is true regarding the realm of no concern that relates to matters about which you haven’t even thought (e.g., whether or not there’s a dinosaur version of you in another dimension reading this blogpost). Unfavorably, many people continually self-disturb about such matters.
Rather than continuing to circle the proverbial drain in such a manner, you can use ULA to simply accept – without rigid conditions – how little control and influence you actually have regarding most instances in life. It truly is as straightforward as mind over matter.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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