In a blogpost entitled People Who Live in Glass Houses, I identified an assortment of should-type beliefs associated with demandingness and in regard to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Herein, I’ll address one form of these sometimes self-disturbing or non-self-disturbing demands, depending on one’s worldview.
Before expanding upon what a legal should statement is and how it functions, it may be useful to first describe basic elements of REBT which serve as a type of self-help method for rational living. Essentially, there are two main techniques used in this version of cognitive behavior therapy.
REBT theory first uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful attitudes in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, if you’re caught driving while intoxicated [DWI] (Action), you may be apprehended for violating the law regarding DWI (Consequence). From an A-C perspective, alcohol within the bloodstream may impair one’s driving capabilities while causing a hazardous roadway situation.
Still, if during the undesirable arrest event you Believe, “The law shouldn’t dictate how I live my life,” then you’ll likely disturb yourself into an angry disposition (Consequence). This B-C connection is self-disturbing, because it’s an absolutistic should belief.
On the other hand, the apprehending officer may not be self-disturbed when arresting you while productively Believing, “People should obey the law, so I’m glad to have taken another driving hazard off of the streets.” The same event renders contrasting beliefs.
Whether or not one considers legal should beliefs to be valid, these are conditions to which citizens are required to obey. According to one source, “You should not drive at 100 miles per hour because you’ll get a ticket,” which represents a valid and legal should belief.
Noteworthy, I help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. To accomplish my objective as a psychotherapist, I invite individuals to take personal responsibility and accountability for their reactions to events.
Secondly, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Additionally, foundational components incorporated into REBT relate to Stoicism—a philosophical practice valuing four virtues (wisdom, courage, temperance or moderation, and justice) as a means of achieving eudemonia—a life well-lived, as well as humanism—the process of healing oneself.
As well, REBT is influenced by existentialist principles—essentially positing that each of us will inevitably die and that we can search for purpose and meaning as a method of living a well-lived existence. Importantly, all of these techniques require frequent (and I mean daily) practice.
Understandably, legal should beliefs are sometimes flexible or inflexible, arguably rational or irrational, and self-defeating or non-self-defeating assumptions which may or may not need challenging, depending on whether or not they cause self-disturbance.
Ultimately, legal should beliefs are frequently and helpfully used in common parlance, as I tend to use these sorts of narratives within my practice of REBT. Hopefully, the information contained herein helps you determine if you want to continue using this sort of belief.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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