I met Kim-Jade (“KJ”) in 2011, during the same month that I graduated with a Master of Arts in Counseling degree. In between graduation and securing my first job as a psychotherapist, I participated in life coaching and amateur photography activities in Bomb City.
Typically, when I shot different models at the usual overused sites around the city, I engaged in conversations about superficial matters. This wasn’t the case with KJ. From the moment of our first shoot, we discussed childhood trauma, existential angst, and various philosophical concepts.
Uncharacteristic of the female models with whom I usually worked, KJ was able to exchange with me many lines from the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). Thus, she was a genuine pleasure for me to have worked with.
Unsurprisingly, KJ and I became friends and began spending time together on a fairly frequent basis. This included in-person, telephonic, and FaceTime communication. A time or two, we even exchanged emails – a fairly uncommon practice for most of my friends back then.
One of the most attractive aspects of our plutonic relationship was that KJ didn’t merely respond to my attempts to initiate contact, she often began conversations on her own – a rarity regarding many people in my life these days, as KJ exhibited genuine interest in nurturing our relationship.
Of course, it’s logical and reasonable (collectively “rational”) to wonder about whether or not there was a romantic component to my interaction with KJ. Regarding most females with whom I’ve been friends, this matter usually is addressed early on.
Shortly before meeting KJ, as expressed in a blogpost entitled “10 Years,” I endured an end to a romantic relationship and decided to go my own way (abstain from intimate partner relationships). Although KJ and I expressed physical attraction to one another, we stayed friends.
In 2012, after having been accepted to a graduate program for social work in Austin, Texas, I moved away from Bomb City. Still, KJ and I remained in touch via telephone and FaceTime. The following photo was taken during one of our many conversations around that period of time.
Eventually, as happens in life, contact between KJ and I was impacted by a number of challenges to our friendship. These matters aren’t worth hashing out herein, as I’ve long since used the ABC model and unconditional acceptance to resolve my issues related to this matter.
As also frequently happens in life, yet another friend of mine qualified for her face to be un-redacted within my blog. In 2014, my friend “Rhea” contacted me to inform me that KJ had died in a motor vehicle accident.
She was 23-years-old at the time, died on Mother’s Day and after having apparently visited the gravesite of her late mom, and my belated friend left behind a son and a daughter. For those who actually knew KJ, you likely know that I’ve intentionally left out many details regarding her life.
There’s no point in exhuming the difficult details about this fallible human being’s life so long after she was put to rest. Therein lies the point of the current post. People’s lives are often messy. We all track dirt on our feet when on our journey toward the grave. None of us are perfect.
Therefore, the psychoeducational lesson about Kim-Jade’s challenging life and inescapable death serves as a reminder that no matter what you’re experiencing in this moment, you will inevitably die. This was true for KJ, me, and everyone any of us will ever know.
You can choose to self-disturb with irrational beliefs about this fact. You can also opt to smile while you’re here, connect with your friends using whatever means available to you, and accept that dirt upon your grave will result whether or not your feet were relatively clean when headed to that end.
Rest easy, Kim-Jade. One.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Hollings, D. (2025, February 5). 10 years. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/10-years
Hollings, D. (2024, May 22). A philosophical approach to mental health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-philosophical-approach-to-mental-health
Hollings, D. (2022, November 18). Big T, little t. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/big-t-little-t
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Existentialism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/existentialism
Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2022, August 31). Iss-me vs. iss-you. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/iss-me-vs-iss-you
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Lived experience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/lived-experience
Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2025, January 15). Satisfaction. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/satisfaction
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux
Hollings, D. (2023, September 22). You’re gonna die someday. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-re-gonna-die-someday
Nati. (2003, May 24). One. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=One
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Python_and_the_Holy_Grail
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