Earlier today, when listening to the track “Run It Fast” by Barbaydose, I concentrated on the sample of a Les Brown speech used in the song. In the original monologue, Brown states:
It is something I’d like to share some ideas and thoughts with you. I’m not asking that you believe anything that I say. I’m not asking that you agree with me. I’m merely asking that you stand on and in the conversation that we share with you this evening. And if there’s something that I say that can fit and work for you, I say use it. If not, discard it and let it be. Is that all right?
This is partially how I approach the practice of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) when working with clients. At the risk of oversimplifying this psychotherapeutic modality, there are generally two main techniques one can use in order to reduce self-disturbance.
Tool number one is the ABC model. This technique demonstrates how when undesirable Adversity occurs and a person maintains irrational Beliefs about the event, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the situation itself that causes unpleasant Consequences (e.g., fear, anger, etc.).
In order to resolve the experience of self-inflicted suffering, Disputation of unproductive assumptions is used so that an individual can discover and implement Effective new beliefs. Use of this tool requires personal responsibility and accountability for one’s own reactions.
Tool number two is the practice of unconditional acceptance (UA). This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Using this technique, REBT acknowledges the fallibility of oneself, others, and life while identifying how little control and influence people actually have in any given circumstance. Likewise, the concepts of impermanence and uncertainty are interwoven into this tool.
Although not specifically advocated in REBT literature, I ask that (at minimal) my clients understand, believe in, and frequently practice the techniques of REBT. This is where Brown, who stated, “I’m not asking that you believe anything that I say,” and I differ.
If an individual understands the ABC model and UA, though doesn’t believe these tools will actually reduce self-disturbance, it’s probable that the person won’t practice these techniques. Therefore, without belief in the modality a person may not benefit from continued practice.
Nevertheless, I value that Brown states, “I’m not asking that you agree with me,” because agreement with my interpretation of an individual’s experience isn’t essential to the practice of REBT. Much like the people with whom I work, I’m also an imperfect being.
Therefore, I don’t need people to agree with me when I’m fully aware that what I think, feel, believe, or say may be subject to imperfection. Aside from the therapeutic alliance (psychotherapeutic relationship), practice of REBT is ultimately the main element I advocate.
This, of course, is predicated on understanding of and belief in REBT. If an individual doesn’t agree with what I have to say about improving one’s own life, no problem, because I’m not interested in unhelpfully demanding that people agree with me.
As stated by Brown, “And if there’s something that I say that can fit and work for you, I say use it. If not, discard it and let it be.” In this regard, my approach to REBT is to help people get better and not to merely feel better.
This process can be uncomfortable, and I realize that’s a hard sell for some people. In fact, many people will merely disagree with the notion that discomfort is an inherent component to success with mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Such people tend not to stick with therapy.
Still, I’m not asking that you agree with me on the matter of discomfort, because it’s true regardless of whether or not you concur. If comfort-seeking is what you prefer, I invite you to continue doing whatever it is you’ve been doing in avoidance of lasting and effective change.
Keep doing what you’ve always done and you’ll likely wind up where you’ve always been. On the other hand, if you’re prepared to challenge yourself, endure discomfort, and commit to routine practice of REBT, then I’m prepared to assist you on your path to success.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit (edited), fair use
References:
Bandcamp. (n.d.). Barbaydose. Retrieved from https://barbaydose.bandcamp.com/
Barbaydose – Topic. (2020, June 4). Run It Fast [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/15PvQfg__yQ?si=ZnxE5BL4NjjxzSOS
Freepik. (n.d.). View of black and white light projector for theatre [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-ai-image/view-black-white-light-projector-theatre_138300639.htm
Hollings, D. (2024, October 18). ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/abc-model
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences
Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being
Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, October 21). Impermanence and uncertainty. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/impermanence-and-uncertainty
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health
Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude
Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth
Hollings, D. (2022, November 7). Personal ownership. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-ownership
Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering
Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The critical A. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-critical-a
Hollings, D. (2024, September 17). The E-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-e-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2024, January 11). Therapeutic alliance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/therapeutic-alliance
Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2024, January 16). Understanding, belief, and practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/understanding-belief-and-practice
Inspire Me. (2019, November 10). Stop negative thinking and believe in yourself Les Brown [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/tRGu6QywEBQ?si=eNAw1h1H3kFR0YMp
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Les Brown (politician). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Brown_(speaker)
Comments