Call it what you will, “oldies,” “soul music,” “doo-wop,” or “R&B,” I was raised on tunes which were popular during the ‘50s and ‘60s, and which were held over well into the ‘70s when I was born. No matter what level of hardship I experienced as a child, that music soothed by burdens.
Now, I’ve lost connection with most of the family, friends, locations, and other elements of that time period. Both the pleasant and unpleasant experiences I had are but fading memories at this point. In fact, all I maintain in physical form from that era are photos and my baby blanket.
Even those items will one day be lost, as I’ll probably lose everything that I got one day. Perhaps you read my words and conclude that what I’m saying is a matter worthy of sorrow regarding impermanence and uncertainty of the past. I assure you that there’s nothing to lament.
Or maybe you contemplate my message and determine that this issue aligns with fear about the inevitability of detachment from elements of life which will no longer remain attached in the future. Here, too, there’s no need for apprehension. Besides, all things shall eventually pass.
To be entirely honest, the here-and-now is all I’ve ever had. For instance, when I was five-years-old and listening to R&B groups like The Independents, I never heard the music in the past or the future. Rather, when hearing those soothing tunes, the event always took place in the present.
Each and every moment since has come and gone and reflectively, I’ve lost most things aside from a crocheted blanket, some pictures, and whatever shadows are available from my faulty memory. Even still, I’ll probably lose everything that I got one day.
When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in my personal and professional life, I keep in mind the existential instruction expressed herein. Sometimes, I find it helpful use adages so that I can remember these psychoeducational lessons.
For example, I find value in the song “Tiger Bone” which was performed by lyricist Planet Asia and produced by the incomparable Apollo Brown on their collaborative album Anchovies (2017). As a bonus, the track features a sample of The Independents’ song “It’s All Over.”
At the beginning of “Tiger Bone,” Planet Asia dedicates the track to the late rapper The Jacka who was reportedly shot and killed at the age of 37. That’s younger than I currently am. At any rate, Planet Asia states on the track, “I’ll probably lose everything that I got one day.”
Just as The Jacka lost his life and I’ve lost family members, friends, and other elements of my past, I’ll probably lost everything that I got one day – to include my baby blanket, photos, and even my life. In fact, there’s no “probably” to it. I’ll one day lose everything.
About this truthful statement, I’m not self-disturbed. After all, I fervently practice unconditional life-acceptance. This helpful REBT technique acknowledges the imperfection of existence and takes into account a non-attachment style regarding the circle of concern—matters over which one has little-to-no control or influence.
Therefore, when thinking in this moment about how I’ll lose everything one day – which will also occur in the present tense whenever such events transpire – I’m undisturbed. Thus, without unhelpful conditions, I accept that all things shall eventually pass.
How about you? What comes to mind and how do you feel when reflecting upon the past and thinking about the future? You’ll probably lose everything you got one day, as well. If you disturb yourself with unproductive beliefs about this fact, I may be able to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Apollo Brown – Topic. (2024, July 4). Tiger Bone [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/G5YEdnx-JCI?si=igImnZ92SST20Ucu
Hollings, D. (2024, November 20). Adages. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/adages
Hollings, D. (2024, September 20). All things. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/all-things
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2024, July 11). Concern and no concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/concern-and-no-concern
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Existentialism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/existentialism
Hollings, D. (2024, March 28). Faulty memory. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/faulty-memory
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2024, October 21). Impermanence and uncertainty. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/impermanence-and-uncertainty
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth
Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Independents – Topic, The. (2017, July 5). It’s All Over [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/8-73hZfTP1E?si=J8F9Dve2-wg0rWos
Sha Be Allah. (2021, February 2). Today in hip hop history: Bay area legend The Jacka was shot and killed 6 years ago. The Source. Retrieved from https://thesource.com/2021/02/02/today-in-hip-hop-history-bay-area-legend-the-jacka-was-shot-and-killed-6-years-ago/
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Anchovies (album). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchovies_(album)
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Apollo Brown. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_Brown
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Planet Asia. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planet_Asia
Wikipedia. (n.d.). The Independents (vocal group). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Independents_(vocal_group)
Wikipedia. (n.d.). The Jacka. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jacka
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