For a brief period of time, my late mom was affiliated with a Texas-based outlaw motorcycle club (MC). To state it crudely and in accordance with MC culture, she was “property” of the one-percenter organization.
From information she shared with me about the MC, I learned that “church” was a term used by MCs to describe either an official club meeting (e.g., holding church) or a clubhouse where the meeting takes place. This was a curious term to me, as I grew up under religious doctrine.
As was sung in my youth, “You can’t go to church, because the church is you.” This meaning is derived from 2 Corinthians 6:16 which states in part, “What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”
From the Church of Christ view, Christians were said to be the church; therefore, we couldn’t attend what we already were. Nevertheless, and perhaps due to the fallibility of humans, Christianity isn’t a monolith and the religion maintains differing forms of faith-based worship.
Therefore, some Christians refer to the physical structure where worship takes place as “the church.” As an example, in electronic dance music (EDM) artist Monblaire’s 2023 song “The Church,” an individual states on the house music track:
You know, when I was young, back home at church, the old folks used to say, “We don’t need no music. All we need is our hand-clappin’ and our foot-stompin’.” You know, when the power used to go out and everything, the old folks used to get a beat like this. And they start clappin’, and you would feel the Spirit move throughout the buildin’. The atmosphere would just change. And you’d see an old mother just sittin’ over there rockin’ on the mother’s board, just rockin’. You knew somethin’ was about to happen. And she started movin’. She started comin’ to life over there.
From the perspective of church congregations stemming from the black evangelical tradition, similar to that of which my late stepmom was a member, being impacted by the Holy Spirit while at church was similar to the content expressed on Monblaire’s track.
When practicing Christianity, I tried not to be too pedantic in regard to specific biblical instruction and meaning when a matter about whether or not people were the church or they attended church. What was important related to worship, not solely the terminology one used.
In any case, pertaining to MC culture, holding church represents attendance at official meetings. Thus, I was surprised to discover that when attached to the Marine Security Guard (MSG) detachment (det) in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, official det meetings were referred to as “holding church.”
The MSG det even scheduled these meetings for Sunday mornings when we’d discuss all manner of diplomatic security topics. As well, holding church represented a time for some jarheads to “confess” the supposed sins of other members.
What I mean by this is that some MSGs would accuse other det members of perceived wrongdoing and other petty slights. As the junior member of the det, this is when I’d experience what is commonly referred to as bullying by other senior Marines.
Over time, I began to despise holding church. Back then, I thought there was a direct connection between holding church and the anger I experienced. Of course, this was during a time before I knew anything about Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, when my mom shot an outlaw MC member in the buttocks (Action), the bullet that pierced his skin resulted in pain and bleeding (Consequence). In the naturalistic world, gunshot wounds have a direct A-C connection with bullets.
I imagine that when being shot after purportedly having assaulted my mom the biker likely Believed, “This shouldn’t happen to me,” which probably caused a self-disturbed angry disposition (Consequence). From a psychological standpoint, B-C disturbance is directly associated with assumptions.
Also worth noting is that REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
What I didn’t know as an MSG det Rio member was that holding church while being bullied didn’t cause my loathing of official meetings and the unpleasant consequence of anger. Rather, a direct B-C connection better explained my unpleasant reaction.
Employment of the ABC model and use of UA would’ve served me well back in the late 90s and early 00s. Alas, I didn’t know what I didn’t know and I disturbed myself with unhelpful beliefs about holding church with fellow Devil Dogs.
Now, I know better. Because of this fact, I’ve gotten better. After all, one of the main objectives of REBT is to help people get better and not merely feel better during or after undesirable events.
As indicated in the song “The Church,” when experiencing an activating event, I know somethin’ is about to happen, because I select healthier options to addressing the situation than to bitch, whine, moan, or complain about perceived wrongdoing and other petty slights.
Would you like to know more about how REBT can help you get better, rather than pedantically criticizing other religious members about their use of terms, shooting outlaw MC members in the ass, or self-disturbing about bully incidents? If so, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s original EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Apple Music. (n.d.). Monblaire. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/monblaire/1456662425
Avaholic52. (2012, October 14). AVB U Can’t Go 2 Church [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/CcjYBLQYo1U?si=lXkEP2WrYhknbBCJ
Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing
Hollings, D. (2024, July 15). Bullying. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/bullying
Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being
Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance
Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering
Hollings, D. (2022, December 23). The A-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-a-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2024, September 17). The E-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-e-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Monblaire – Topic. (2023, March 2). The Church [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/EsFdVuYdsjg?si=prSKTSYsFXj-VTFC
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