In 1999, English electronic dance music (EDM) duo The Chemical Brothers released their highly successful album Surrender which featured the track “Hey Boy Hey Girl.” Lyrics simply stated, “Hey girls, hey boys, superstar DJs, here we go!”
I recall the song being played at dance clubs, raves, and EDM festivals throughout Rio de Janeiro, Brasil and surrounding localities while I was assigned to a Marine Security Guard (MSG) post. One such instance took place in Niterói—a municipality in the state of Rio.
Rather than venturing out with many MSGs, only a couple other Marines and I went to Niterói for a night of dancing. As was a common occurrence at the time, I wound up separated from my fellow military personnel while dancing with Brasilians and tourists who visited a club.
I spoke about 40% Brasilian Portuguese conversationally, so I managed to meet club-goers who spoke only broken English. Because there was some level of security risk associated with being on a diplomatic mission, MSGs were cautioned not to become complacent at our posts.
This was true even when in Rio, as there were a number of reportable incidents in which foreign intelligence-gathering activities were noted and which served as a potential threat to the safety of MSGs. Nevertheless, I didn’t allow the possibility of danger to ruin my time when in Rio.
When thinking of how I was able to enjoy myself, others, and life in general, even though kidnapping was a realistic prospect at the time, I think of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). In particular, I consider practice of unconditional acceptance (UA).
The technique of UA addresses the matter of self-disturbance—how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs. UA is accomplished in consideration of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
For context, in order for a belief to be considered rational it empirically must remain in accordance with both logic and reason. For a pragmatic example of what I mean, consider the following syllogistic proposal which is both logical and reasonable:
Form (hypothetical) –
If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.
Example –
If it’s possible for diplomats to be kidnapped in Rio, then caution is warranted when in public.
If caution is warranted when in public, then MSGs recommendatorily should be mindful of potential threats at all times.
Therefore, it’s possible for diplomats to be kidnapped in Rio, then MSGs recommendatorily should be mindful of potential threats at all times.
Notably, there’s a difference between real-world and ideal-world perspectives. Ideally, clubbers who came together to enjoy music of The Chemical Brothers could’ve do so without consideration of harm. However, in reality, there was always a possibility of danger in life.
Ergo, when I was separated from fellow MSGs for an extended period of time in Niterói, I could’ve upset myself with irrational beliefs about how dangerous nightlife may’ve been. Had I allowed my undisputed beliefs to fester, I likely would’ve quickly taken a cab home.
Instead, I used UA to logically and reasonably conclude that while remaining mindful of potential threats at all times could’ve served my interest and goal of staying alive; I could’ve simultaneously carried on with thriving and not merely surviving from day-to-day.
Following a cue from lyrics of “Hey Boy Hey Girl,” when separated from other Marines for what turned out to be the rest of the night, I confidently told myself, “Here we go!” That didn’t mean that I acquiesced to content of irrational beliefs and hailed a cab.
Rather, I rationally endured – without protest, condition, or reaction – the fact that death was possible even in the perceived safety of a home setting. I could’ve died from a slip, trip, or fall in a shower. As well, I could’ve been taken hostage from a club in Niterói and died from that event.
Instead of choosing to self-disturb with unfavorable beliefs about potentialities, I simply said to myself, “Here we go,” and danced through the night, sweating through my clothes, and I managed to meet club-goers who spoke only broken English. At that, we had a wonderful time!
Given this relatively brief psychoeducational lesson on the potential of death and practice of UA, how might you approach impermanent and uncertain possibilities which are inherent in life? Will you sweat the likelihood of death, or will you sweat through your clothing while having the time of your life? Here we go…
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Cardew, B. (2024, June 20). How The Chemical Brothers’ ‘Surrender’ became their biggest, brightest album. DJ Mag. Retrieved from https://djmag.com/features/how-chemical-brothers-surrender-became-their-biggest-brightest-album
Chemical Brothers, The. (2008, January 9). The Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy Hey Girl (Official music video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/tpKCqp9CALQ?si=nqKDLsRpwkwXELtm
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Surrender (The Chemical Brothers album). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrender_(The_Chemical_Brothers_album)
Wikipedia. (n.d.). The Chemical Brothers. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chemical_Brothers
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