In a blogpost entitled Circle of Concern, I highlighted a modified form of Stephen Covey’s concept regarding the circles of influence. Furthermore, I use this psychoeducational lesson when practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
An individual’s circle of control relates only to oneself. As an example, only I control whether or not I will exit the bed when my alarm sounds in the morning and it’s time to get up.
A person’s circle of influence generally relates to friends, family members, coworkers, and others with whom one maintains contact. For instance, when practicing REBT, I may have some influence in relation to the clients with whom I work.
An individual’s circle of concern encompasses almost everything not related to the circles of control or influence. As an example, a hurricane forming off the coast of Puerto Rico may be concerning to me though I have no control or influence over the matter.
In a blog entry entitled Concern and No Concern, I stated:
Noteworthy, in a blogpost entitled Control I stated:
It’s worth noting that some people suggest there is a fourth dimension, the area of no concern. In this realm are things about which one knows nothing—though they still may exist—and one has no control, influence, or concern regarding the unknown (e.g., whether or not there is an alternate version of yourself in another dimension who is eating cake at this very moment).
The area of no concern may be so vast that it’s not limited to the mere form of a circle.
Given this perspective regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as the area of no concern, I value what page 229 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion says about working with clients:
Learn not to disturb yourself about your clients’ problems. Use your healthy concern to stay focused on helping them to help themselves.
I may have some influence in regard to the clients with whom I work, though I have no control over them. Therefore, when people neglect their homework exercises, refuse to use the ABC model or unconditional acceptance, or forego REBT practice altogether, I remain concerned.
Healthy concern of this sort entails use of rational compassion instead of empathy. Empathizing with a willfully disturbed client would relate to feeling what the person feels, which I posit is an impossible feat. In fact, I argue that no one is capable of empathy in this regard.
Still, I can imagine what a person feels, though I can’t actually experience one’s exact emotive or bodily sensation experience. Thus, using logic and reason, I can rationally imagine what an individual is feeling while maintaining healthy concern through use of compassion.
As such, I don’t disturb myself with beliefs about a client’s problems. Rather, I use healthy concern while remaining focused on attempting to help people to help themselves.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Creativeart. (n.d.). Agency young adult profession stressed black [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/agency-young-adult-profession-stressed-black_1077974.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=0&uuid=fd979310-246f-4fcb-b386-0d21ac71524c
Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-rebt-therapists-pocket-companion-d185164652.html
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2024, July 11). Concern and no concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/concern-and-no-concern
Hollings, D. (2023, April 22). Control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control
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Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance
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