When I began the informal practice of life coaching in 1991, I followed biblical instruction that I’d received regarding the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, Luke 8:4-15). Later in life, when becoming a psychotherapist in 2011, I continued this approach.
For those unfamiliar with the parable, Christians are taught to spread the seed (word of God) around the globe. Not all seed will produce abundant results, as some will fall upon inhospitable ground while others will be nurtured by fertile conditions.
In a blogpost entitled Parable of the Sower, I stated of this matter, “Unfortunately, not everyone who receives the seed will enjoy fruitful outcomes. Given this truthful admission, I know that friends, acquaintances, clients, and others will have mixed results.”
Now contemplating this topic over 30 decades since I first began trying to improve the lives of others, I acknowledge the concepts of impermanence and uncertainty when growing plants from seed. All things shall eventually pass and there are exceptionally limited guarantees in life.
With this understanding, I realize that the fleeting moments spent trying to help others may result in a lack of understanding on the part of my target population. As such, I may have only one opportunity to meet with a person in order to plant the seed of wellness.
For instance, I may be able to use psychoeducation in regard to rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) for only one session before a client decides to try other avenues for mental, emotional, and behavioral health care. How much could I teach in such a short period of time?
Similarly, I may work with a client for years before a concept I introduced within the initial stages of psychotherapy takes root. Some clients pass through the environment that I try to cultivate before the seed takes effect, and there’s no guarantee that even longstanding clients will grow from planted seed.
While I take personal responsibility and accountability for my role in the process of planting and growing, I also remain aware of the fact that clients share a significant degree of personal ownership regarding their outcomes. After all, REBT is a collaborative process when practiced with a psychotherapist.
Comprehending that not everyone that I’ve tried to help has actually received the assistance I originally intended to provide, I practice unconditional acceptance to keep from self-disturbing about the matter. This helpful technique applies to the self, others, and life in general.
I unconditionally accept myself as a fallible human being who can only try to help others. The qualifier of trying excludes a rigid expectation whereby I should, must, or ought to be entirely successful at helping people.
Similarly, I unconditionally accept others as imperfect people who are sometimes willing to sit with or push through discomfort when doing the work, and at other times willfully refuse to participate in self-help strategies. Who’s to say that they should or shouldn’t do as they do?
Likewise, I unconditionally accept life as a flawed experience. Not one moment in my existence, or regarding the lives of anyone I’ve ever known, has impermanence, uncertainty, and imperfection ceased to exist. Alas, this truly is as it must be – because it simply is this way.
Given this balanced perspective, growing plants from seed – or trying to help people improve their lives from my limited influence, though not with any control over their lives – is something I consider a purpose-driven and meaningful endeavor. This is true regardless of outcomes.
Given these facts, would you like to join me in the proverbial garden of life? If so, I offer a transient experience which is grounded in improbability regarding this moment and the next. If these conditions are suitable to you, I have seed. Let’s see if together we can grow some plants.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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Hollings, D. (2024, September 29). Well, well, well. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/well-well-well
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