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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

Good Friends We've Lost Along the Way


 

On their 1974 album Natty Dread Bob Marley and the Wailers released a track entitled “No Woman, No Cry” which was composed by Vincent Ford. Regarding the classic song, one source states:

 

“No Woman, No Cry”, according to [Bob] Marley, was written at Ford’s flat in 1974, as the pair reminisced about the past and about playing in “the government yard in Trenchtown”. They recalled old friends, some of whom had died, and these sentiments run throughout the song.

 

When listening to the song in my youth, I mistook the lyrics to mean that if one didn’t have a woman there was no reason to cry. For instance, there would be no tears shed regarding infidelity if one didn’t have an intimate female partner who cheated in the first place.

 

However, I later learned that the singer was encouraging, “No, woman… don’t cry” during difficult times, as to invite a person to be resilient in the face of adversity. One source clarifies:

 

“The song is about the strength in the mama of course, strength in the ladies,” Wailers bass player Aston ‘Family Man’ Barrett told the NME in 2012.

 

“And we love a woman with a backbone. Something like a wishbone! They have to be like a she lion! Woman strong, you know, not depending on the man.”

 

“Of course the man is there to help you, then for every successful man, there is a good woman.”

 

The rest of the song is a personal remembrance of Bob (or Vincent’s) time in poverty in the Trenchtown neighborhood (“And then Georgie would make the fire lights”... “my feet is my only carriage”) while drawing strength and optimism from friends and the people who came before (“In this great future, you can’t forget your past”... “everything’s gonna be alright”).

 

In any case, this morning, I learned of recent controversy involving Joe Rogan. As a matter of full disclosure, I’m not a fan of Rogan’s comedy routines though I enjoy his podcast.

 

Apparently, in his latest comedy special, Rogan stated, “We lost a lot of people during COVID, and most of ‘em are still alive,” and, “Yeah, there’s a lot of people I don’t fuck with anymore.”

 

Upon hearing Rogan’s confession regarding the loss of people, presumably due to divisiveness related to what I consider an authoritarian response to COVID-19 by global governments and others, a Worl-A-Girl cover of “No Woman, No Cry” echoed in my mind. Lyrics include:

 

I remember when we used to sit

In the government yard in Trenchtown

Oba, observing the hypocrites as they would

Mingle with the good people we meet

Good friends we have, oh, good friends we’ve lost along the way, aye

In this bright future you can’t forget your past

So dry your tears I say

 

I remember before what I refer to as the “dark days” of COVID people used to sit and mingle with one another. Then, as an overreaction to the virus occurred, I observed hypocritical and other fallible human behavior with which I was disappointed.

 

Fortunately, no one within my inner circle used irrational beliefs in regard to my skepticism of official narratives about COVID or my refusal to submit to illogical and unreasonable measures (e.g., receiving the so-called vaccination). Thus, I didn’t lose good friends along the way.

 

Nevertheless, a number of my clients were said to have had good friends and lost them, because of rigid assumptions which were used in relation to the global event. The same was apparently the case for Rogan as he reportedly now has people he doesn’t “fuck with anymore.”

 

Although I didn’t lose anyone in my inner circle, I did have a few clients who made the decision to terminate their behavior health care services. Seemingly, my approach to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) wasn’t conducive with ideological irrationality intertwined with official narratives.

 

Reflecting upon “No Woman, No Cry,” I’m reminded that “in this bright future you can’t forget your past,” so I keep in mind that all things shall pass. This includes good friends you’ll lose along the way and clients who opt to dropout of psychotherapeutic services.

 

Therefore, I’m grateful for the practice of Stoicism and unconditional acceptance which is incorporated into REBT. Through use of these healthy techniques, I don’t need to dry any tears, per “No Woman, No Cry,” because I can tolerate and accept life as it simply is.

 

While I’m not prepared to declare that “everything’s gonna be alright,” as Marley professed, I know that through daily practice of REBT I’ve reached contentment with a good enough standard of living. If you, too, would like to live well in this regard, I’m here to help.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Gold Radio UK. (2023, March 23). ‘No Woman No Cry’ by Bob Marley: The making of the reggae crossover smash hit. Retrieved from https://www.goldradiouk.com/artists/bob-marley/no-woman-no-cry-facts-lyrics-meaning/

Hollings, D. (2022, August 26). AntiFACTser: A pandemic of the unFACTsinated. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/antifactser-a-pandemic-of-the-unfactsinated

Hollings, D. (2024, May 30). Behavioral health care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/behavioral-health-care

Hollings, D. (2024, June 24). Contentment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/contentment

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, April 26). Eudaimonia. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/eudaimonia

Hollings, D. (2024, March 27). Everything’s gonna be alright. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/everything-s-gonna-be-alright

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being

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Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

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Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 8). Resilience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/resilience

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2022, December 14). The is-ought problem. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-is-ought-problem

Hollings, D. (2024, May 14). This, too, shall pass. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/this-too-shall-pass

Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna

Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance

Humenature. (2008, August 24). Worl-A-Girl - No Woman No Cry [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/yOVlKmwQmwA?si=_lJVjml5MjIGZbCV

Johnson, B. [@bennyjohnson]. (2024, August 3). Based Joe Rogan is […] [Post]. X. Retrieved from https://x.com/bennyjohnson/status/1819934198355955798

Leigh, S. (2009, January 7). Vincent Ford: Songwriter credited with composing ‘No Woman, No Cry’. The Independent. Retrieved from https://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/vincent-ford-songwriter-credited-with-composing-no-woman-no-cry-1229958.html

Marley, B. (2020, July 1). Bob Marley - No Woman, No Cry (Official video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/IT8XvzIfi4U?si=fxUUJwDWcHsKpYAj

Muggerwood Muggz. (2024, July 17). Vector t-shirt [Image]. Playground. Retrieved from https://playground.com/post/vector-t-shirt-ultra-realistic-poster-of-bob-marley-in-the-clyqltbru079pi6664vc6f9lz

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Bob Marley. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Marley

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Joe Rogan. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Rogan

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Natty Dread. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natty_Dread

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Trenchtown. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trenchtown

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Vincent Ford. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_Ford

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Worl-A-Girl. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worl-A-Girl

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