In high school, I used to visit Palo Duro Canyon State Park with a friend, “Lil’ Caesar,” who introduced me to Bomb City gang members. When we weren’t cruising town with bass billowing from the windows or wreaking havoc with our criminally-minded friends, Lil Caesar and I enjoyed camping.
Insightfully, we agreed not to become validated gang members. Camping was a safer bet. Back then, the code of the streets was adequately expressed in Scarface’s song “Street Life” (1992), as the Houston lyricist stated, “I remember what was said, ‘You come in alive, the only way you leave out is dead.”
Lil’ Caesar and I took that guidance to heart. We knew that everyone would die eventually, though we made a pact not to depart from this existence while being bound to a criminal enterprise. Thus, we lived life on our terms and not those dictated by a gang.
Without formal gang validation, Lil’ Caesar and I were bestowed the status of “untouchable.” Essentially, we conducted gang-related activities though did so on our own accord. We came and left the group of criminally-behaving teens and young adults as we pleased.
In turn, members from rival sets (divisions within a gang) and other gangs were strongly encouraged not to cause trouble for us. Admittedly, I knew that from a distance law enforcement officers (LEOs) couldn’t tell who was who. For instance, consider what one source states:
The duck test is a frequently cited colloquial example of abductive reasoning. Its usual expression is: If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
To LEOs, Lil’ Caesar and I looked like waterfowl. Therefore, my friend and I agreed not only to refrain from joining a gang, we vowed to improve our circumstances in life. He emigrated from Mexico and I’d lived in a children’s home not long before we met.
Fast forward three decades from then, Lil’ Caesar is now a lawyer and I’m a psychotherapist. In a sense, we were part of a get better gang of two teenage boys who chose wellness over continuing down a criminal path. Long gone are our days of camping and criminal activity.
Contemplating this matter, I think of my approach to rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Unlike some other psychotherapeutic modalities, REBT aims to help people get better and not merely feel better.
This is accomplished through use of the ABC model and unconditional acceptance. These techniques require routine practice in order to alter self-disturbed behavior, such as participating in drive-by shootings (hypothetically speaking).
Further considering this matter, I’m reminded of Slim Thug’s song “Get Better” (2016), in which the Houston rapper states, “I know it’s hard. I see the pain in your eyes, but that never lasts forever. It get[s] better.” This is how life was for Lil’ Caesar and I.
Unhelpfully, we could’ve sat around whining about how unfair life was. Conditions that caused Lil’ Caesar’s mom to illegally cross the southern border of Texas with her three sons likely weren’t easy or fair. Nevertheless, she chose to get better rather than to remain where she was in life.
Also, circumstances weren’t favorable for me, as I was placed in a children’s home while my mom roamed the streets with an outlaw motorcycle gang (OMG). All the same, I ultimately made the decision to join the Marine Corps after high school and get better instead of settling for displeasing conditions.
In a separate Slim Thug song entitled “Bosslife Membership” (2017), featuring Houston rappers Killa Kyleon and Paul Wall, Slim Thug boldly declares, “Get better gang. Yeah, bitch, that’s what we do!” That’s the type of ‘gang’ upon which Lil’ Caesar and I ultimately agreed.
In what now seems like a lifetime ago, I ran the streets of Bomb City – the same path along which my mom traveled with an OMG. However, rather than succumbing to the trappings of that path, I chose to get better. After all, that’s what a get better gang does!
Noteworthy, none of the paths which lay before me in the past were easy. I could’ve been jumped into a set, followed orders, and wound up like one of my gang-related friends who received a 30-year sentence. I imagine doing a bid like that isn’t easy.
Likewise, it wasn’t easy to instead join the Corps and hash out symptoms of childhood trauma which I experienced while aggravating my psychological disorders through military service. It was hard trying to get better. Still, a get better gang doesn’t complain – it simply gets better.
I chose the difficult path that would lead to improvement of my functioning (e.g., elimination of criminal behavior) and an enhanced quality of life (i.e., contentment). Therefore, I’m not concerned with complaints of getting better as relating to a “hard” path in life. I just get better.
If you’re currently traveling upon a difficult road and want to join the proverbial get better gang, I invite you to choose that which is hard and can lead to improved functioning and an enhanced quality of life. If you’d like to know more, I’m here to help. Gang, gang!
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Apple Music. (n.d.). Killa Kyleon. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/killa-kyleon/261912286
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