I practice rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), a form of cognitive behavior therapy that demonstrates how people upset themselves with unfavorable beliefs. Although this may seem like an odd proposition, I invite you to consider how this psychotherapeutic modality works.
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what cause unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym G.L.A.D. For instance, consider the following examples:
(G)lobal evaluations – “Life isn’t worth living if I’m not accepted by other people.”
(L)ow frustration tolerance – “I can’t stand not being accepted by other people.”
(A)wfulizing – “It would be awful if I weren’t accepted by other people.”
(D)emandingness – “I must be accepted by other people.”
In the context of upsetting oneself, an individual can go from use of G.L.A.D. beliefs to a mad disposition very quickly. Noteworthy, the process of upsetting oneself with these unfavorable beliefs is referred to as “self-disturbance” in REBT.
It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.
Although still serving as a form of prescription rather than description, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal should beliefs doesn’t necessarily cause self-upset. Here, rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of these unproductive assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Noteworthy, Actions and Consequences aren’t Disputed, as only unproductive Beliefs are challenged.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, if your internet service provider (ISP) experiences a system failure (Action), then you may subsequently be without internet service (Consequence). From an A-C perspective, ISP complications can cause outage events.
Alternatively, when your ISP has an outage (Action) and you unhelpfully Believe, “I can’t stand this awful experience,” then you’ll likely self-upset into an angry disposition (Consequence). Thus, self-disturbance is caused by a B-C connection – often associated with G.L.A.D. beliefs.
Helpfully, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
When using REBT, I try to help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections associated with G.L.A.D. philosophies of life. However, I can’t fully resolve their A-C experiences. After all, I’m merely a psychotherapist and I can’t prevent ISP outages.
From G.L.A.D. to mad can happen in an instant, because self-disturbing beliefs occur automatically. Unproductively, some people further upset themselves with unpleasant beliefs about these beliefs. For instance, “I shouldn’t still have these assumptions after using REBT!”
Yet, REBT isn’t a charmed cure for the fallible experience of human life. Even I—scratch that—especially I, as a professional REBT practitioner, maintain self-disturbing beliefs. However, rather than allowing G.L.A.D. beliefs to cause consequences, I challenge them on a daily basis.
Additionally, foundational components incorporated into REBT relate to Stoicism—a philosophical practice that values four virtues (wisdom, courage, temperance or moderation, and justice) as a means of achieving eudemonia—a life well-lived, as well as humanism—the process of healing oneself.
This means that REBT serves as an empowering form of self-help whereby you learn the modality while practicing with a psychotherapist. All the same, you become your own therapist of sorts by actively engaging in homework exercises outside of psychotherapeutic sessions.
As well, REBT is influenced by existentialist principles—essentially positing that each of us will inevitably die and that until then we can search for purpose and meaning as a method of living a well-lived existence. Importantly, these techniques require frequent (and I mean daily) practice.
Noteworthy, unlike some perspectives relating to mental, emotional and behavioral health, I’m not concerned with helping people to achieve positivity, good vibes, or happiness in their lives. Rather, I favor a “good enough” default standard of living. Perhaps this doesn’t appeal to you.
If an individual is able to go beyond this objective, then so be it. If not, and all that a person has to show from my approach to REBT is an attainable standard of contentment, then so be it. At least that’s arguably preferable to a self-disturbed existence, is it not?
Ultimately, my approach to well-being can be summarized by one adage: Do more of that which serves your interests and goals, and less of that which doesn’t. If you’re willing to be honest with yourself, I suspect you’ll conclude that G.L.A.D. beliefs don’t satisfy that adage, do they?
Admittedly, not everyone appreciates the manner in which I practice REBT – nor should they. I’m under no illusion that individuals must keep from needlessly upsetting themselves. All the same, if what I’ve outlined herein sounds like something in which you’d be interested, I’m here to help. If not, so be it.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions
Hollings, D. (2024, September 25). Unrealistic philosophies. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unrealistic-philosophies
Hollings, D. (2024, October 11). Vibes. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/vibes
Hollings, D. (2024, February 23). Wacky beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/wacky-beliefs
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Hollings, D. (2023, September 22). You’re gonna die someday. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-re-gonna-die-someday
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