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Expiration Date

Writer: Deric HollingsDeric Hollings
Jan 286 min read

 

Perhaps one of the most irrational beliefs I’ve encountered throughout my life relates to the illogical and unreasonable notion that an individual must live until an old age. I suspect you’re familiar with this unaccommodating assumption. Think of the absurd phrase “gone too soon.”

 

A self-disturbing belief of this kind is known as demandingness in literature for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). It’s unaccommodating, because this irrational narrative inflexibly discounts matters relating to truth and reality.

 

For instance, imagine that your child was born today (1/28/2025). The reported life expectancy for the United States population in 2022 was 77.5 years, though you round up and rigidly expect that your child will live to be 80-years-old.

 

This illogical and unreasonable expectation is then used to conclude that your offspring must live until 1/28/2105, as this is what you consider to be long enough to constitute “old age.” Your irrational belief then influences anticipated and actual reactions to the contrary. I’ll explain.

 

REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Action occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant cognitive, emotive, sensational, and behavioral effects as Consequences.

 

As an example, you sit around thinking “what if” while anticipating scenarios about how you may react if your child dies before you (Action). When doing so, you unfavorably Believe, “My child must live until an old age and it would be awful if this wasn’t the case!”

 

With this inflexible form of demandingness and awfulizing, you experience worry which is accompanied by ruminating thoughts (cognitive), fear (emotive), a rapid heartrate with tightness in your chest (sensational), and nail-biting (behavioral), which are Consequences of your Beliefs.

 

Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that’s used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.

 

Unhelpfully, many people with whom I’ve come into contact disturb themselves with beliefs about life functioning like an expiration date printed on perishable products. To better understand what I mean, consider food product dating printed on a can of green beans.

 

Typically, food expiration dates indicate when food is presumably at its best quality, not necessarily when food is unsafe to consume. However, some people use these dates as rigid rules by throwing out perishables before or on the date of expiration.

 

Personally, use of food expiration dates serves as a guide by which I determine if or when I’ll keep or toss specific products, such as Greek yogurt. Nevertheless, I’m not yogurt and you aren’t green beans. We are humans and we aren’t born with expiration dates stamped on our buttocks.

 

With the exception of those who choose to complete suicide, the vast majority of us don’t know when we will die. Therefore, it’s irrational to demand or even expect that you, your child, or I will live until an old age. People die every day, and this includes children.

 

Herein, I’ve addressed an anticipated reaction to the contrary of one’s illogical and unreasonable expiration date beliefs. Now, I’ll address an actual reaction to the contrary of these unproductive assumptions.

 

Your three-year-old child is struck by a vehicle and dies (Action). When this occurs, you unhelpfully Believe, “My child must’ve lived until an old age and I can’t stand that this isn’t the case! My life is now worthless without my precious child!”

 

Through use of unaccommodating demandingness, low frustration tolerance, and a global evaluation, your mind is bombarded with thoughts of helplessness (cognitive), you feel immobilizing sorrow (emotive), you experience heaviness throughout your body (sensational), and you swallow a bottle of pills (behavioral), which are Consequences of your Beliefs.

 

Grief and bereavement are natural functions of life. If imaginary my three-year-old child suddenly died, I suspect that I’d experience deep sorrow. Still, there’s a difference between naturally-occurring sadness and the self-disturbed experience of devastation described herein.

 

Yet, many people unhelpfully cause the latter through use of an unfavorable Belief-Consequence connection. I argue that before you anticipate or experience actual death, unconditionally accepting life can ultimately help you– which includes acceptance of the inescapable eventuality of death.

 

None of us are born with a well-defined expiration date – at least not that we know of or can prove, as I add this caveat for the religious and spiritual practitioners who may come across this blogpost. Even if your deity knows the hour of your death, you don’t – with the exception of suicide.

 

Therefore, practicing unconditional life-acceptance may help to reduce your self-induced suffering. So, too, may practice of the ABC model. Of course, you’re welcome to experience devastation from your unfavorable beliefs. The choice is yours. In any case, time is ticking.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

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Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

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Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2025, January 2). The choice is yours. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-choice-is-yours

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Hollings, D. (2024, September 17). The E-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-e-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions

 
 
 

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