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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

Empowerment

 

When I was in junior high school, German electronic dance music (EDM) group Snap! released their debut album World Power. The anthology featured a track called “The Power” and it was a mesh of hip hop and EDM – a type of hip-house, if you will – that was quite popular at the time.

 

I have a fond memory of my older sister dancing to the tune, which was relatively a short time before I was placed in a children’s home and separated from her. In my youth, she was my strongest supporter. Yet, I digress.

 

Aside from the repeated line “I’ve got the power,” I recall dancing to the song in my bedroom and singing a repetitive message “It’s getting, it’s getting, it’s getting kinda hectic.” For me, that time in my life was quite hectic—characterized by activity, excitement, or confusion.

 

On one hand, I’d just returned from living in Aurora, Colorado from half of fifth to half of seventh grade and I was excited to once again live with my older sister. On the other hand, when returned to Amarillo, Texas I suspected that I’d once again experience trauma from my mom.

 

The physical, mental, and emotional abuse I endured from my dad was predictable. Whenever there was alcohol being consumed, what he affectionately referred to as “rotgut”— Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7, somebody in the house was gonna take an ass-whoopin’. That was often me.

 

However, the same form of abuse, while mixed with neglect, from my mom was unpredictable. Oddly, I don’t recall her behavior being the result of substance abuse. A gentle breeze was reason enough for her to dispense beat-downs, and I disturbed myself with beliefs about her behavior.

 

To better understand what I mean, perhaps it would be of use to know about Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). In particular, you may benefit by knowing about the ABC model.

 

REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Action occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant emotional, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.

 

Of the four major irrational beliefs recognized in REBT literature, there is global evaluation, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness (G.L.A.D.). These are the unrealistic personal philosophies of life with which people disturb themselves – to include abused children.

 

Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that’s used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.

 

Noteworthy, formation of rigid attitudes is disempowering—depriving of power, authority, or influence: to make weak, ineffectual, or unimportant. Unhelpful belief-consequence (B-C) connections didn’t serve my interests and goals well when being returned to the care of my mom.

 

In fact, disempowerment of my B-C connections was antithetical to empowerment—the act or action of empowering someone or something: the granting of the power, right, or authority to perform various acts or duties. For the latter, I needed an effective belief-consequence (E-C) connection.

 

Perhaps examples of the B-C and E-C connections will solidify this psychoeducation lesson for you. First, I invite you to consider the hectically self-disturbed example of a B-C connection wherein I’ll use all four major irrational G.L.A.D. beliefs.

 

My mom beat my ass (Action) and I unfavorably Believed, “She’s a bad mom (G) and I can’t stand being beaten (L)! It’s horrible that I live with her (A) and I shouldn’t have to endure my mom’s abuse (D)!” With this B-C attitude, I was sad and my body felt heavy (Consequence).

 

The line in the Snap! song, “It’s getting, it’s getting, it’s getting kinda hectic,” was one of disempowerment. I experienced helplessness and hopelessness in seventh grade, once again reminded of how I wanted to commit suicide at nine-years-old when previously living with my mom.

 

Alternatively, when she frequently battered me (Action), I could’ve helpfully Believed, “Although I wish my mom loved me enough not to harm me, she’s a severely ill person. While I don’t like being beaten, things won’t necessarily be this way forever.”

 

That empowering attitude would likely have caused the experience of disappointment, a lighter sensation within my body, and hope for the future. For a child who was prepared to take his own life and the lives of others, that hope could’ve reflected the Snap! line, “I’ve got the power!”

 

Granting that REBT isn’t particularly easy to employ and it takes dedicated practice along with understanding of and belief in this psychotherapeutic modality, empowerment through use of this wellness method is attainable. Otherwise, life will get, get, get kinda hectic!

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

 

References:

Discogs. (n.d.). Snap! – The Power [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.discogs.com/master/70506-Snap-The-Power

Hollings, D. (2024, July 21). A spring of hope. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-spring-of-hope

Hollings, D. (2024, October 18). ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/abc-model

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2022, November 18). Big T, little t. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/big-t-little-t

Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2023, June 26). Ctrl+alt+del. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ctrl-alt-del

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2024, April 28). Hope in the future. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/hope-in-the-future

Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals

Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2022, October 19). It ain’t easy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/it-ain-t-easy

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, December 9). Like it, love it, accept it. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/like-it-love-it-accept-it

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

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Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering

Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The critical A. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-critical-a

Hollings, D. (2024, September 17). The E-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-e-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2024, January 16). Understanding, belief, and practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/understanding-belief-and-practice

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, September 25). Unrealistic philosophies. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unrealistic-philosophies

Hollings, D. (2024, September 29). Well, well, well. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/well-well-well

Snap! (2011, May 3). SNAP! - The Power (Official music video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/nm6DO_7px1I?si=tsbHB9_p5mXfmZYp

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Snap! Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snap!

Wikipedia. (n.d.). World Power. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Power

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