In a blogpost entitled People Who Live in Glass Houses, I identified an assortment of should-type beliefs associated with demandingness and in regard to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Herein, I’ll address one form of these non-self-disturbing demands.
Before expanding upon what an empirical should statement is and how it functions, it may be useful to first describe basic elements of REBT which serve as a type of self-help method for rational living. Essentially, there are two main techniques used in this version of cognitive behavior therapy.
REBT theory first uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful attitudes in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, if your internet service provider bill is fully paid though a thunderstorm causes an internet outage (Action), you may have no online service (Consequence). From an A-C perspective, storms may cause internet service disruption.
Still, if during the undesirable internet outage event you Believe, “I pay for full-time internet coverage so I should have online access,” then you’ll likely be un-disturbed though understandably frustrated (Consequence). This B-C connection isn’t necessarily self-disturbing, because you can tolerate and accept an outcome over which you have no control.
Thus, I help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. To accomplish my objective as a psychotherapist, I invite individuals to take personal responsibility and accountability for their reactions to events.
Secondly, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Additionally, foundational components incorporated into REBT relate to Stoicism—a philosophical practice valuing four virtues (wisdom, courage, temperance or moderation, and justice) as a means of achieving eudemonia—a life well-lived, as well as humanism—the process of healing oneself.
As well, REBT is influenced by existentialist principles—essentially positing that each of us will inevitably die and that we can search for purpose and meaning as a method of living a well-lived existence. Importantly, all of these techniques require frequent (and I mean daily) practice.
To better understand empirical should beliefs, in a blog entry entitled Shoulding at the Supermarket I provided commentary on what one prominent REBT practitioner offered when addressing this sort of assumption, while using an example of shopping at a supermarket:
[P]retend you’re shopping and you notice that yogurt within a day of its expiration is being sold for 75% of the original price. You then tell yourself, “Well, the price should be reduced, because the yogurt expires tomorrow.” Would it surprise you to learn that this isn’t a problematic should narrative? Per one source:
When the empirical ‘should’ is used, the person is indicating that she acknowledges that all the conditions were in place for what happened to have happened. Thus, when I use an empirical ‘should’ in the statement ‘The Conservative Party should have lost the election’, all I am saying is that all the conditions were in place for them to lose the election – nothing more, nothing less. I am not indicating my personal preference in this statement, nor am I appealing to any sense of deservingness. I am outlining what happened and stating that it should have happened because it did; i.e., all the conditions existed for it to happen. As such, the empirical ‘should’ is not the target for change in REBT.
You discovered that an almost-expired yogurt product is sold at a drastically discounted price, as perhaps it should be. There’s nothing to dispute in this regard.
Thus, empirical should beliefs are often flexible, arguably rational, and usually not self-defeating assumptions which aren’t necessarily worth challenging, because they typically don’t cause self-disturbance. A separate source states of empirical should beliefs:
This ‘should’ points to the existence of reality. It encapsulates the idea that when all conditions are in place for a given event to occur then that event should occur. For example, ‘Because the car is old and in ill repair it should have broken down’ or ‘Because of laws of gravity you should have fallen when you stepped off the ladder.’
Noteworthy, in a blogpost entitled Trolley Problem, I referenced one source which stated:
[T]here are three valid uses of the word, “should”—the legal should, the laws of the universe should, and the moral / ethical should.
· Legal should: You should not drive at 100 miles per hour because you’ll get a ticket.
· Laws of universe should: If I drop this pen, it should fall to the floor due to the law of gravity.
· Moral / ethical should: “Thou shalt not kill,” which is straight from the Ten Commandments.
Here, the “laws of the universe should” is synonymous with an empirical should belief. For instance, it’s empirically believed that an object in motion will continue in motion until acted upon by an outside force.
Ultimately, empirical should beliefs are frequently and helpfully used in common parlance, as I tend to use these sorts of narratives within my practice of REBT. Hopefully, the information contained herein helps you determine if you want to continue using this sort of belief.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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Cookie_studio. (n.d.). What is your point. Portrait of intense serious handsome guy, taking off glasses and gesturing while discussing business [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/what-is-your-point-portrait-intense-serious-handsome-guy-taking-off-glasses-gesturing-while-discussing-business_10175757.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=32&uuid=2e5b7370-2650-409b-9579-18257df35fe7
Dryden, W. (2023, October). Fundamentals of rational emotive behaviour therapy: A training handbook, 3rd edition. Wiley. Retrieved from https://dokumen.pub/fundamentals-of-rational-emotive-behaviour-therapy-a-training-handbook-3nbsped-1394198515-9781394198511.html
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