On his debut solo album Chick Magnet (2004), Texas hip hop legend Paul Wall released the song “Did I Change” which featured rappers Pretty Todd, Scooby, and Unique. The introduction (intro) of the song states:
There’s one thing I’ve learned in life, mayne
As you get older, thangs change
You know what I’m sayin?
People change, friends change
That’s just how it go, mayne
The intro addresses the impermanent nature of life, as all things are in a constant state of evolution or change. Regarding this matter, I’m reminded of a paradox regarding the Ship of Theseus. According to one source:
The Ship of Theseus, also known as Theseus’s Paradox, is a paradox and a common thought experiment about whether an object is the same object after having all of its original components replaced over time, typically one after the other.
In Greek mythology, Theseus, the mythical king of the city of Athens, rescued the children of Athens from King Minos after slaying the minotaur and then escaped onto a ship going to Delos. Each year, the Athenians would commemorate this by taking the ship on a pilgrimage to Delos to honour Apollo.
A question was raised by ancient philosophers: If no pieces of the original made up the current ship was it still the Ship of Theseus? Furthermore, if it was no longer the same, when had it ceased existing as the original ship?
In contemporary philosophy, this thought experiment has applications to the philosophical study of identity over time. It has inspired a variety of proposed solutions and concepts in contemporary philosophy of mind concerned with the persistence of personal identity.
To provide a modern example regarding the Ship of Theseus, imagine that you have a car. Over time, piece by piece is replaced—doors, windows, seats, steering wheel, transmission, brakes, and so forth. Even the frame of the vehicle is eventually swapped out for a different one.
At the end of the restoration project, would the contemporary product resemble its original predecessor? Is your car the same thing after undergoing its evolution or process of change? This is the paradox regarding the Ship of Theseus.
As stated by the aforementioned source, the paradox relates to personal identity. To provide another example, consider that in 1997, when I graduated the Military Police Course with class 05-97, I was 20-years-old. Today, I’m 48. Did I change?
Am I the same person as I was in the above photo? Although my facial features, fingerprints, retinal composition, and other elements of my identity remain relatively unaltered, I argue that those matters relate to what I am and not necessarily who I am.
The “who” in this example relates to the Ship of Theseus, and as such the “I” in consideration reflects the psychological rather than physiological profile of the individual featured in the photo above. Given this perspective, I again consider the intro of “Did I Change” by Paul Wall.
Using slang, the rapper accurately asserts that “as you get older, thangs change” and “that’s just how it go, mayne.” This consideration includes the “I” with whom I once identified, as well as the fact that “people change, friends change,” as concluded by Paul Wall.
Unconditionally accepting this as an inevitable function of life is a method of reducing self-disturbance which stems from irrational beliefs about the process of evolution or change. For instance, consider the chorus of “Did I Change” which states:
I don’t know if it’s just me
Did I change? Did they change?
It’s messed up
It’ll never be the same
Let me tell ya, mayne
It’s nothin’ like losin’ ya bro
Today, he love you
Tomorrow you don’t know ‘em no mo’
Although there are other foreseeable options, there remain two general possibilities concerning this sort of outlook: (1) acceptance or (2) un-acceptance regarding the process of evolution or change. Herein, I’ll present both options.
First, in consideration of the ABC model used in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), one thinks about change (Action) and helpfully Believes, “Even though it’s messed up that it’ll never be the same, I unconditionally accept that change is an inescapable element of life.”
Using this productive form of Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection, the outcome of one’s self-narrative is disappointment with an ability to tolerate and accept the evolutionary nature of life (Consequence). Rather than an idealistic result, this is a realistic method of living rationally.
Noteworthy, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering regarding change of this sort. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
In correlation with the first healthy foreseeable option regarding “Did I Change,” and in consideration of the Ship of Theseus, USA is merely endurance without protest of or reaction to the fact that I am not at present who I was yesterday, nor will I be the same tomorrow.
Similarly, UOA is recognition and allowance of this fact in regard to other people. Likewise, ULA is use of the same rational approach to life itself. After all, all things shall pass—my former identity, the military police members of class 05-97, and life itself.
Alternatively, the second consideration of an unproductive B-C connection results when one thinks about change (Action) and unhelpfully Believes, “It’s messed up that it’ll never be the same, so change absolutely shouldn’t be an element of life.” This is the opposite of UA.
Using a distorted inference of this absolutistic should narrative, an individual can convince oneself, “I’ll accept life only if change doesn’t occur.” This conditional inference is then used absolutistically and results in misery rather than mere disappointment (Consequence).
Without use of USA, UOA, or ULA, a self-disturbed person then agonizes about identity change, the evolution of relationships, and the uncertainty of life outcomes. Rather than merely experiencing disappointment-based regret, this individual suffers guilt or shame.
Personally, given the two plausible options regarding “Did I Change,” I favor choice number one rather than number two. I refer to this as a “choice,” because it is. You don’t have to needlessly suffer unaccommodating beliefs regarding change of your proverbial ship throughout the years.
Change is inevitable. It’s expected. It’s also inescapable. You can choose to use self-disturbing absolutistic or conditional beliefs about evolution or change. You can also choose to practice UA. Which will best serve your interests and goals?
Looking at the photo of me and the men with whom I served in the Marines from 1997, I barely even recognize the vessel I once was. Rather than self-disturbing about the fact that I’ve changed, or being disappointed, I’m relieved. Change was my goal. Mission accomplished!
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Discogs. (n.d.). Pretty Todd. Retrieved from https://www.discogs.com/artist/335071-Pretty-Todd
Discogs. (n.d.). Scooby (2). Retrieved from https://www.discogs.com/artist/647335-Scooby-2
Discogs. (n.d.). Unique. Retrieved from https://www.discogs.com/artist/786071-Unique-22
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, September 20). All things. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/all-things
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2024, March 28). Distorted inferences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/distorted-inferences
Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (2024, August 27). Guilt and shame are choices. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/guilt-and-shame-are-choices
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2022, June 15). I have moved on. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/i-have-moved-on
Hollings, D. (2024, April 27). Ideal-world vs. real-world. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ideal-world-vs-real-world
Hollings, D. (2024, October 21). Impermanence and uncertainty. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/impermanence-and-uncertainty
Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, November 25). No ragrets. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/no-ragrets
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering
Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2024, October 2). The paradox of hating to be disturbed. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-paradox-of-hating-to-be-disturbed
Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna
Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, July 7). When idealism doesn’t stack up to realism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/when-idealism-doesn-t-stack-up-to-realism
Paul Wall. (2014, November 5). Did I Change [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/Lhrx_ODSKvU?si=gkXYmTFtYSZt_UH-
Shae. (2004, September 2). Mayne. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mayn
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Chick Magnet (album). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick_Magnet_(album)
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Paul Wall. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Wall
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ship of Theseus. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ship_of_Theseus
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Theseus. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theseus
Comments