Working as military police (MP) for my first year in Okinawa, Japan in 1997, I wrote many traffic citations, participated in the apprehension of fellow Marines, and believed that my role as a law enforcement officer (LEO) somehow made me special among fellow Jarheads.
Therefore, when an MP noncommissioned officer (NCO) sat me down and explained that my overzealous Actions had real-world Consequences for those to whom I administered justice, I was confused about my LEO role.
I thought that friendly competition with fellow MPs to see who could issue the most tickets was a motivational method of performing required duties while also justifying my position among my peers. What difference did it make if Marines who violated the law endured unpleasant outcomes?
Patiently, the NCO explained that many of the Uniform Code of Military Justice laws, base orders, and other lawful orders I enforced were policies that most MPs also frequently violated. Under different circumstances, any one of us could wind up on the other side of legal protection.
Because I respected the NCO and thought about my pre-military friends who were gang-affiliated, and how their behavior wasn’t dissimilar to the Marines who were the target of my LEO behavior, I was confused about what my role as an MP would reflect moving forward.
At that time, the film Blade (1998) was released. One source succinctly summarizes the movie by stating, “A half-vampire, half-mortal man [Blade] becomes a protector of the mortal race, while slaying evil vampires.”
The opening scene featured a song entitled “Confusion (Pump Panel Reconstruction Mix),” performed by New Order – a remixed version of the band’s 1983 song “Confusion.” Lyrics included:
(Confusion) You just can’t believe me
(Confusion) When I show you what you mean to me
(Confusion) You just can’t believe me
(Confusion) When I show you what you cannot see
In the opening scene, Blade appears at a vampire blood rave as the fast paced electronic dance music (EDM) track plays. He then proceeds to slay vampires. As silly as it sounds, I saw myself in the character of Blade.
I was a Marine, just as Blade was similar to the blood rave attendees. Still, I was an MP, just as Blade was part human. I walked among those I policed, just as Blade walked among vampires.
Still, in accordance with the lyrics of the “Confusion” remix, I thought I couldn’t believe what my LEO role was when it was shown to me. In essence, I thought couldn’t believe when shown what I couldn’t see.
When contemplating this matter through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I understand far more now than I did in 1998. Specifically, it wasn’t that confusion was caused by the talk with the NCO. Rather, my disbelief about the content of that discussion is what caused disturbance.
REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
Therefore, from a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
For example, my overzealous behavior regarding the enforcement of laws and orders (Action) resulted in a number of other Marines receiving administrative and punitive punishment (Consequence). In this way, my behavior wasn’t without real-world outcomes.
Still, that A-C connection isn’t what caused disbelief or confusion. Rather, my unpleasant experience was created by a B-C connection.
The NCO told me how detrimental my behavior was to others (Action) and I unhelpfully Believed something along the lines of, “I can’t believe he’s blaming me for the problems of others, because I should be able to perform my duties in the same manner in which I was trained.”
That unproductive assumption led to confusion about my role as an MP and anger (Consequence). For clarity, it’s worth examining precisely how I disturbed myself in such a manner.
Noteworthy, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
Firstly, I disturbed myself with low frustration tolerance (i.e., “I can’t believe he’s blaming me […]”.). Still, it wasn’t factual that I was in disbelief. Rather, I unhelpfully determined that I couldn’t stand being blamed for the problems of others.
Therefore, my intolerant belief regarding the matter caused confusion. When left undisputed, inflexible B-C narratives such as this don’t serve one’s interests or goals; as in my case, I wanted to stand out among my peers, though I didn’t need to harm other Marines to do so.
Secondly, I self-disturbed with demandingness (i.e., “I should be able to perform my duties […].”). According to whom should I have been able to perform my duties in the same manner in which I was trained? Me? The NCO outranked me and knew more than I did.
Thus, my unfavorable assumption was an ego-based mechanism that challenged helpful guidance given to me by the NCO. This irrational B-C connection is what led to anger.
Fortunately, my second year in Okinawa was one in which I changed my behavior and eased up on the enforcement of laws and orders. From an REBT perspective, I undisturbed myself by accepting disputation of my beliefs from a patient NCO, and I remain thankful for his support.
Now, I help people who at first can’t or won’t believe me when I show them what they cannot see. Reflecting upon the guidance of my former NCO, I use patience with others.
Perhaps you’re searching for answers to the confusion of a B-C connection. Although I don’t have all the answers to questions you have, we may be able to resolve some confusion together. If this sounds like something in which you’re interested, I look forward to hearing from you.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s original EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit, property of New Line Cinema, fair use
References:
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