On many occasions, the clients with whom I practice rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) express a fundamental misunderstanding about my approach to mental, emotional, and behavioral health care. They tell me that the psychotherapeutic modality is a mere luxury.
As an example, I recently spoke with a client about her fear stemming from unfavorable beliefs about the potential for World War III (WWIII). Apparently, she’s quite worried about whether or not the Russian Federation will launch nuclear weapons toward the United States (U.S.).
Unlike some phobias—which relate to irrational (illogical and unreasonable) fears such as coulrophobia (fear of clowns)—the client’s expressed concern is of a rational nature. For instance, one recent source reports:
Authorized by U.S. President Joe Biden, Ukraine in using the Army Tactical Missile System, aka ATACMS (pronounced attack ‘ems), stepped across Russian President Vladimir Putin’s latest line in the sand—a revised Russian doctrine that opens up a possibility of a nuclear response to a conventional-weapons strike by any nation backed by a nuclear state.
There remains a realistic possibility that if the U.S. continues its current course of antagonism against Russian, there could be consequences to the actions of our nation. Having formerly worked in the field of nuclear security, I understand the devastating possibilities we face.
When discussing this matter with my client, I advocated use of the ABC model and unconditional acceptance (UA). Allow me to briefly discuss these two techniques.
First, REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Activating event occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant emotional, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that’s used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.
Second, REBT uses the technique of UA to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Sometimes, clients express to me that while these two techniques seem helpful, the ABC model and UA appear to be luxury practices which aren’t necessarily practical. When discussing the possibility of WWIII with a client recently, we put REBT to a pragmatic test.
Regarding the potential for nuclear war, I invited my client to participate in disputation of unproductive beliefs. During this helpful process, she was able to differentiate between descriptive and prescriptive beliefs.
As an example, believing that she doesn’t want to experience the devastating effects of nuclear war is a matter of description. On the other hand, inflexibly demanding that she must never experience a nuclear weapons exchange between the U.S. and Russia serves as a prescription.
While disputing unaccommodating beliefs, I invited my client to consider her circles of control, influence, and concern as a matter of practicing UA. This consideration is necessary for understanding personal responsibility and accountability regarding unpleasant consequences.
For context, my client has control only of herself, and to a limited degree. Although she may have influence over other people and her environment, this is also a matter of limited ability.
Additionally, she has no control and exceedingly limited influence over most matters about which she’s concerned. Therefore, she can take personal ownership for her reactions to the elements in life over which she has limited control and influence.
For all other matters – such as those about which she may be concerned, like the potential for nuclear war – she can practice UA so that she doesn’t self-disturb with unproductive beliefs. When communicating this psychoeducational lesson, my client asked a rational question.
“What’s the difference between concern and worry?” she inquired. Concern is defined as an uneasy state of blended interest, uncertainty, and apprehension. Worry is defined as mental distress or agitation resulting from concern, usually for something impending or anticipated.
To synthesize these definitions, think of concern as a healthy way to approach challenging situations about which you have no control or exceedingly limited influence, while worry tends to be unhealthy and is correlated with stress, anxiousness, or fear, as you still can’t change the activating events.
Rationally speaking, I’m concerned with the notion that WWIII is looming. In fact, on September 14, 2023, I posted a blog entry entitled War is Coming in which I stated:
Because I practice unconditional life-acceptance, I don’t disturb myself about matters which are beyond my control or influence. Therefore, my assumptions about WWIII don’t cause fear within me.
Moreover, I don’t allow my beliefs about my fellow U.S. citizens or the state of our nation in decline to cause me needless suffering. I can tolerate and accept what simply is, and without demanding that it ought to be any other way.
While I pay attention to the uncertainty of nuclear rain that may fall upon this country, I know that I have zero control or influence in regard to this matter. Therefore, what use is there in transitioning from concern to worry? There is none! (Not rationally speaking, that is.)
Mental, emotional, and behavior distress (i.e., ruminating thoughts, fear, and disturbed sleep) stemming from neurotic concern with the potential for WWIII wouldn’t benefit me or those within my circle of influence in any meaningful way. Thus, I remain unworried or self-disturbed.
When discussing matters in this way, my client expressed that in the interest of rational living it behooves her to push unpleasant worry away by placing the potential for WWIII into her circle of concern where it belongs. To her, this is not a matter of luxury. I concur. How about you?
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit (edited), fair use
References:
Carroll, C. (2024, November 20). Putin lowered threshold on use of nuclear weapons. Is he bluffing? Phys.org. Retrieved from https://phys.org/news/2024-11-putin-lowered-threshold-nuclear-weapons.html
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