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Cheer Up, Emo Kid

Writer: Deric HollingsDeric Hollings

 

I recall in high school when emo subculture gained popularity. Regarding this matter, one source states, “Emo, whose participants are called emo kids or emos, is a subculture which began in the United States in the 1990s.” Emo kids were thought of as emotional, hence the name “emo.”

 

Unlike the hip hop subculture to which I’ve been a member since before I attended elementary school, the subculture of emo kids surged in popularity up until the early 2000s and then largely fizzled out. Of course, as is the case with other trends, emos eventually regained popularity.

 

For instance, I have a friend whose daughter will graduate high school this year. She tells me that there are emo kids at her high school. In fact, she subscribes to an offshoot of emo kid fame known as scene. According to one source:

 

The scene subculture is a youth subculture that emerged during the early 2000s in the United States from the pre-existing emo subculture. The subculture became popular with adolescents from the mid 2000s to the early 2010s. Members of the scene subculture are referred to as scene kids, trendies, or scenesters.

 

When asked what differentiates emos from scenesters, my friend’s daughter paused for a moment and then confidently replied, “Scene is emo, but with more color.” I recall scene being quite trendy in the early 2000s when I was an amateur photographer.

 

Unlike emo kids who seemed to favor alternative rock, indie rock, and pop-punk music, scene kids appeared to have gravitated toward metalcore, crunkcore, deathcore, pop-punk, and my favorite of their options, electronic music. There were scene kids at some raves I’ve attended.

 

In any case, I was recently reminded of emo kids when recently discussing overly-emotive adolescents with a client. During the discussion, my mind drifted to the 2006 album Save Each Other, the Whales Are Doing Fine by pop-punk rock band Patent Pending.

 

In specific, I was reminded of the song “Cheer Up Emo Kid” that was introduced to me during a time when I took photos of various adult-aged scene kids in Bomb City. The opening verse of the track mockingly states of emo kids:

 

I’ve got a problem with everyone I know

I’ve got a problem, I want everyone to know

I got home late last night from the punk (punk!) rock (rock!) show

I say it sucked, because I’m emo

 

The song outlines the premise of emo kids essentially exhibiting symptoms of persistent depressive disorder (PDD), formerly dysthymic disorder. Regarding this condition, one source states:

 

Persistent depressive disorder is a continuous, long-term form of depression. You may feel sad and empty, lose interest in daily activities and have trouble getting things done. You may also have low self-esteem, feel like a failure and feel hopeless. These feelings last for years and may interfere with your relationships, school, work and daily activities.

 

Colloquially, the character Eeyore from the Winnie-the-Pooh books arguably represents PDD. Concerning this comparison, one source states:

 

Eeyore is always shown as down and gloomy and his tone is consistently shown as hopeless and sad which are major keys of depression. Eeyore moves slowly all the time and seems tired. He lacks motivation and doesn’t want to do much.

 

He is very pessimistic whenever he has to do something or when he is talking about something. He always looks to the worst in every situation and is negative about everything. He can never think something will go right or will go his way. He has a group of friends but he tends to isolate himself from the rest.

 

Any chance he gets he tries to stay away and be by himself because he feels like he doesn’t belong with everyone else. Finally, Eeyore has very little self-worth and doesn’t value himself. He always talks badly about himself and doubts his ability to do anything.

 

Having been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD), I see similarities and differences between my condition and that regarding PDD or what may informally be referred to as an emo state of being akin to Eeyore’s representation in the Winnie-the-Pooh books.

 

More importantly, it took many years of trial and error for me to figure out that I was aggravating symptoms of MDD with what I told myself. I suggest that the same is true for people with PDD.

 

To understand what I mean, I invite you to consider Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and how the process of self-disturbance functions. Before I explain, I invite you to consider the hook of “Cheer Up Emo Kid” that I’ll use as an example and which states:

 

I’m gonna cry, I’m gonna scream

I’m gonna say what I don’t mean

I’m gonna cry, I’m gonna mope

I’m gonna give up all my hope

Bringing everybody down

Everybody with a frown

Bringing everybody down

Wait for death to come around

 

REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Action occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant cognitive, emotive, sensational, and behavioral effects as Consequences.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym G.L.A.D., though not in this specific order.

 

From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

 

As an example, in “Cheer Up Emo Kid” Patent Pending sardonically states, “I like to listen to my favorite band The Cure. I’d ask her out, but she’d say, “No!” no, for sure.” An emo kid may mistakenly conclude that rejection leads to sorrow, endorsing an A-C connection.

 

However, when rejected (Action) and a person unfavorably Believes, “I should always be accepted (D), because I can’t stand rejection (L), as it’s the most awful thing ever (A), so I’ll just wait for death to come around since I’m worthless (G),” then one may feel sorrow (Consequence).

 

Regardless of whether or not a person is diagnosed with MDD, PDD, or has no clinical diagnosis whatsoever, the B-C connection causes unpleasant outcomes and can make an undesirable situation much more objectionable that it actually is. Life doesn’t have to be like this.

 

Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that’s used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.

 

Additionally, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.

 

Ultimately, REBT helps people to un-disturb themselves. This isn’t necessarily the same thing as unhelpfully telling someone who experiences sorrow to “cheer up.” Regarding this matter, the chorus of “Cheer Up Emo Kid” states:

 

Cheer up, emo kid

It’s a brand new day

Cheer up, emo kid

It’ll be okay

Cheer up, emo kid

It’s a brand new day

Cheer up, emo kid

It’ll be okay

 

I recall times in my life when I’ve been organically depressed and have self-disturbed by making matters worse with what I’ve believed, as people have disobligingly encouraged me to “cheer up” or “think positively.” If only life were that easy. Thinking positively doesn’t help me much.

 

Nevertheless, thinking negatively definitely makes matters worse for me. This, too, is likely the case for those who experience PDD in the manner of Eeyore’s self-downing beliefs. Patent Pending eloquently illustrates these self-disturbing global evaluations when singing:

 

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me

Nobody likes me; I guess I’ll go eat worms!

 

That was a common playground taunt when I was a child. If kid X was “feeling” sorry for himself, child Y would recite the nobody-likes-me and I’ll-go-eat-worms melody. One imagines that was about as helpful to an individual as use of irrational beliefs.

 

Alas, REBT is as a method of un-disturbance to where it doesn’t matter what others say or what we tell ourselves. You can cheer up, emo kid, because you only make matters worse for yourself when unhelpfully using overly critical narratives about yourself, others, and life in general.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

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