Property of Random House, fair use
As a child, I enjoyed listening to people read the book Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. I had a particular interest in hearing those who displayed a wide range of vocal tones and expressions while reading the story, similar to what’s displayed in this video.
Although the description of a “man” does a lot of heavy lifting, one source characterizes the plot of Green Eggs and Ham thusly:
Sam-I-am offers an unnamed man a plate of green eggs and ham, but the man tells him that he hates the food. Sam continues to follow the man, asking him to eat the food in some locations (house, box, car, tree, train, dark, rain, boat) and with some animals (mouse, fox, goat) for dining partners.
Finally, when the man agrees to try the dish Sam-I-am has offered, he realizes that he does like green eggs and ham. He announces that he will eat them anywhere, and he thanks Sam-I-am.
One element I appreciated about the story when I was young was that Sam-I-am was quite persistent. His determination to share the odd delicacy was something about which I daydreamed. Why did he care so much about an individual liking green eggs and ham?
Alas, I never received an answer to my internal question. Nevertheless, all these years later, I now contemplate the story through the lens of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Doing so raises an altogether separate question.
Is there a distinction between liking and accepting something? To like something is to be attracted to or take pleasure in an unspecified thing: to enjoy—have good time. The individual to whom Sam-I-am spoke expressly stated that he didn’t enjoy the sort of food he was offered.
Apparently, he didn’t much care for Sam-I-am either. Is there anything inherently good, bad, right, wrong, or otherwise with not appreciating something such as green eggs and ham or other people? Should, must, or ought we to like things which we’ve prejudged to be unenjoyable?
For instance, I’ve never come into contact with surströmming—a traditional Swedish dish of fermented herring that smells like rotten eggs, let alone having been presented with an opportunity to sample it. All the same, I’ve prejudged the dish as something I possibly wouldn’t like.
Should I not judge a book by its cover, so to speak? Why must I be open to eating the Swedish dish if I don’t care to? What manner of persuasion could you possibly use that would make me conclude that I ought to eat surströmming?
Perhaps a more intriguing question is could I truly state that I don’t like it if I’ve never even had it? Addressing this latter point, one source states of Green Eggs and Ham:
This book raises the question of the role that experience plays in the formation of our beliefs. This topic is discussed in the area of philosophy, known as the theory of knowledge or epistemology. Although the book raises the issue in regard to beliefs about food, the ideas can be applied to beliefs about anything.
For example, we can taste something and decide that we don’t like a particular food. However, in other cases, we can simply read about something, like getting into a car crash, for example, and come to the conclusion that we do not want to ever be in a car crash. In this case, we did not need to experience the crash to decide that we don’t want it to happen to us.
Philosophically speaking, I don’t believe that I’d like surströmming and I wouldn’t care to eat it. No matter how fervently Sam-I-am or anyone else attempts to change my mind, I don’t want to sample the Swedish dish.
When we don’t like something, it isn’t as though others can – with any legitimacy – render us to nothing other than bad, wrong, evil, or otherwise. Besides, I could make a logical argument about how people who believe to the contrary may not truly support their own principles.
Far be it for me to shy from use of hyperbole to make a point. Therefore, I present to you the following syllogism when illustrating what I’m proposing herein:
Form (hypothetical) –
If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.
Example –
If your value as a human is based on being open to new experiences, then trying that which you don’t believe you’ll like is a moral good.
If trying that which you don’t believe you’ll like is a moral good, then you should try having sex with a dog.
Therefore, if your value as a human is based on being open to new experiences, then you should try having sex with a dog.
The proposition I’ve presented herein is logical. However, it isn’t reasonable. For one, what a person considers to be valuable is a highly subjective matter. Not everyone would agree that openness is an inherently worthwhile trait.
Second, similar to value-based judgement, morality—a doctrine or system of moral conduct which relates to principles of right and wrong in behavior—is subjective in nature. Not everyone will agree that taking part in activities which one doesn’t enjoy is a measure of goodness.
Last, the absurd proposal of having sex with a dog relates to the irrational belief of demandingness. Who among us is prepared to honestly declare that people should, must, or ought to engage in sexual activity with animals simply because some people suggest it’s good to do so?
Presuming you don’t disagree with my framing of this matter, I invite you to consider that in order to be rational a proposition is required to be in accordance with both logic and reason. Although I’ve made a ridiculous logical argument about dogs, it isn’t a reasonable stance.
Having effectively defined what a “like” is and offered my perspective on how subjective arguments can be when demanding that people must try experiences which they don’t like – or at least which they believe they may not like – I now move forward with assessing acceptance.
Acceptance is merely the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable. To accept something is to receive it willingly or to at least endure it without protest or reaction. There are many things in life that I don’t like though I accept as a plain matter of existence.
For instance, I don’t like that I can’t eat all the sweets that I want without having detrimental side effects. All the same, I accept that processed sugars aren’t good for me. Sometimes, people make the mistake of believing that in order for something to be acceptable, it has to be likable.
However, this simply isn’t a true or realistic approach to rational living. I imagine that, like me, you accept many people, places, things, circumstances, and elements of life that you don’t like – even a little bit. Honestly, I find that I’ve accepted far more things than I’ve liked in my lifetime.
Regarding this matter, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Redirecting focus back to Green Eggs and Ham, Sam-I-am continually offered the “man” in the story a serving of green eggs and ham. Using an REBT lens, the individual being offered the food clearly became self-disturbed by his presumably unfavorable beliefs about the undesirable event.
In REBT, the ABC model demonstrates how when Activating events occur and we use irrational Beliefs about these situations, it’s our attitude through use of unproductive assumptions and not the events themselves which create unpleasant Consequences such as anger depicted in the book.
I imagine that the self-disturbed character in Green Eggs and Ham believed something along the lines of, “Sam-I-am shouldn’t continually bother me, or else I can’t stand the fact that he won’t leave me alone!” Presuming I’m correct about this, two unhelpful beliefs immediately emerge.
First, believing “Sam-I-am shouldn’t continually bother me, or else […]” represents a conditional should belief that falls under the category of rigid demandingness. This occurs when an inflexible either-or proposition is used.
Either Sam-I-am shouldn’t bother me, or else a self-disturbed consequence will result. Without allowing for a balanced perspective, such as the notion that the individual could tolerate and accept Sam-I-am’s annoying behavior, anger was the outcome of this conditional belief.
Although the “man” didn’t like or love Sam-I-am’s obnoxious actions, I suspect that he could’ve tolerated the experience nonetheless. This is similar to how people tolerate the existence of mosquitos, reminders of our inescapable death, and other such matters.
Second, when the character in the book likely believed “I can’t stand the fact that he won’t leave me alone!” this unfavorable attitude represented the irrational belief of low frustration tolerance (LFT). This cognitive effect that influences emotions and behavior is a powerful influence in life.
LFT narratives convince people that they literally cannot stand (tolerate) whatever is taking place. It’s fine that the individual being offered a green serving of food didn’t like the experience. However, is it true that he couldn’t accept the undesirable event?
Of course he could, because the book unfolds under a number of different settings. Although the “man” probably didn’t believe he could withstand obnoxious behavior, he was able to tolerate it from scene to scene. Thus, he could stand what he didn’t like. This is a lesson in UA.
Presuming that you comprehend the REBT techniques I’ve highlighted herein, I now turn toward you. Can you stand green eggs and ham – or any other person, place, or thing – even if you don’t like the experience?
Bear in mind that I’m not inviting you to partake in activities which you find morally reprehensible, like having sex with a dog. “Oh, but can you tolerate and accept boinking a pupper?” isn’t what I’m expressing herein.
Rather, I’m encouraging you to consider that when annoying, frustrating, or disappointing events occur – such as someone continually asking you to try green eggs or ham – you may have more resilience than you otherwise believed was possible. What do you think?
Better yet, I suspect that rather than use of unhelpful demandingness and LFT beliefs, you could even exercise high frustration tolerance in such instances. This occurs when you believe, “I can stand this, even though I don’t like it or love it.” How about it?
Granting that my persuasive argument in this post is both understood and accepted, I propose that this is a lesson that may be useful for children and adults alike – minus the part about sex with animals. Therefore, Green Eggs and Ham – while enjoyable to me in my youth – continues to retain its subjective worth.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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