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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

 

During my junior year of high school, I maintained friendship with a number of gang members. It was during that year when gangsta rap group Bloods & Crips released their second album Bangin’ on Wax 2... The Saga Continues.

 

Because I befriended Bloods, Crips, and Sureños, I didn’t mind listening to both the Bloods and Crips verses on the album. This wasn’t the case for my homies who were affiliated with rival gangs or sets (smaller gang factions). They absolutely refused to listen to anything by Bloods.

 

In any case, the album contained a track entitled “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop,” which is a Bloods song about little more than killing Crips. The chorus thrice states “can’t stop, won’t stop” and finishes with “C-K [Crip-killer] till my motherfuckin’ casket drops.”

 

Although some of my friends refused to support a song by the Bloods, the title of the track quickly became a popular saying among gangsters of varying sets in Bomb City. The phrase was simple enough to understand: an individual doesn’t have the ability or will to cease an activity.

 

Ability is merely the quality or state of being able, especially the physical, mental, or legal power to do something. As an example, I can walk outside and furiously flap my arms, though I can’t take flight when behaving in such a manner. Therefore, I don’t have the ability to fly on my own.

 

Likewise, the term will is used to express desire, choice, willingness, or consent to do something. From a theological perspective, free will is defined as the freedom of humans to make choices that aren’t determined by prior causes or by divine intervention.

 

For instance, I could stop furiously flapping my arms (ability) if I willed (desired) to do so. However, if I didn’t use logical and reasonable (collectively “rational”) thinking, then I’d absurdly state, “Can’t stop, won’t stop,” indicating that I was unable and unwilling to stop.

 

When considering this matter from the perspective of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), I understand how this unhelpful gang narrative ties into the process of self-disturbance—how people upset themselves when using irrational beliefs. This matter concerns the ABC model.

 

REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Activating event occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant emotional, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.

 

As an example, if a gang member was encouraged to leave behind the criminal lifestyle (Action) and this individual unhelpfully Believed, “I can’t stop, won’t stop,” this unrealistic philosophy of life is akin to saying, “I’m believe I’m unable to leave, so I shouldn’t stop what I’m doing.”

 

When unproductively maintaining this personal narrative, the gang member may not experience an unpleasant mood (e.g., sorrow) or uncomfortable bodily sensation (e.g., tense shoulders), though the individual may continue exhibiting maladaptive behavior (e.g., criminal activity) which serves as an unnecessary Consequence of one’s assumption.

 

Therefore, the belief-consequence connection is how this particular person remains trapped in a criminal lifestyle. I knew a number of gangsters who unfavorably convinced themselves that they should’ve remained in gangs, and who were incarcerated or who eventually died as a result.

 

Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that is used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.

 

In the case of the aforementioned composite of gangsters I once knew, they suffered through the course of their behavior and even when their psychological and physiological consequences weren’t necessarily disturbed. Thus, a “can’t stop, won’t stop” philosophy of life was unhelpful.

 

Many years since having distanced myself from those who were affiliated with a criminal lifestyle, I’ve observed predominately boys and young men engaging in reckless gangbanging activity. Uniquely, I don’t judge these people. After all, they are merely fallible human beings.

 

Nevertheless, without negatively rating an individual, I can and do challenge irrational beliefs which cause unhelpful consequences. Although I can stop trying to help people in such a manner, I won’t stop for now. If you’d like to know more about REBT, I’m here to help.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


 

References:

 

Bloods & Crips – Topic. (2018, February 21). Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/PKvRjKnXTec?si=JA_psPwK5_VA9e6T

Cookie_studio. (n.d.). Keep away from me Intense defensive young serious looking disturbed young stylish girl stretch palms stop enough not gesture step back frowning confident rejection demand stay far not come closer [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/keep-away-from-me-intense-defensive-young-seriouslooking-disturbed-young-stylish-girl-stretch-palms-stop-enough-gesture-step-back-frowning-confident-rejection-demand-stay-far-come-closer_28031170.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=0&uuid=9c0b5bf2-1d70-4f70-94b2-bb58c4851fa4

Hollings, D. (2024, October 18). ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/abc-model

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being

Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

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Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Lived experience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/lived-experience

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2024, June 17). On free will. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-free-will

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2024, February 27). Suffering, struggling, and battling vs. experiencing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/suffering-struggling-and-battling-vs-experiencing

Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The critical A. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-critical-a

Hollings, D. (2024, September 17). The E-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-e-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, September 25). Unrealistic philosophies. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unrealistic-philosophies

Lucifer is my bitch. (2021, October 8). Homie. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Homie

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Bangin’ on Wax 2... The Saga Continues. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangin%27_on_Wax_2..._The_Saga_Continues

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Bloods. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloods

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Bloods & Crips. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloods_%26_Crips

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Crips. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crips

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Sureños. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sure%C3%B1os

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