Unlike my graduate studies in counseling, I learned when attending graduate school in social work to “meet clients where they are at.” Are you familiar with this approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”)?
Regarding this phrase, one source states, “Social workers use the phrase ‘be where the client is’. It’s meant to teach how to initially engage the client by meeting them where they are versus telling them how and where to be.” This saying refers to literal and/or virtual connection.
For instance, when formerly employed in a social work position with the United States (U.S.) Department of Veterans Affairs, I literally met clients in their dwelling spaces during home visits. At those meetings, I virtually connected with people in unique ways.
As an example, when visiting with veteran X and caregiver Y at their home, I attempted to understand exclusive complaints, assess for individual needs, and seek resolution regarding distinct interests and goals for both the veteran and caregiver.
Veteran X may’ve desired to improve open, honest, and vulnerable communication skills in regard to weekly check-ins with caregiver Y. Alternatively, caregiver Y may’ve wanted routine periods of respite concerning the caregiving duties required to assist veteran X.
I would literally be where the clients were while virtually meeting them where they were, as self-determined and autonomous individuals. Aside from the many aspects of social work practice with which I disagree, I appreciate a “meet clients where they are at” standard of connection.
Related to my personal and professional roles, both as an individual who attempts to help friends from time to time and as a psychotherapist or life coach who tries to help clients or coachees, I keep in mind the skill of meeting people where they are.
Case in point, I recently spoke with a friend (“Blanca”) about something I heard rapper Cardi B once state. In a social media clip from years ago, the rapper expressed, “A girl have beef with me, she gon’ have beef with me foreva.”
For context, I stated in a blogpost entitled What’s Beef? “In hip hop, a singular word encapsulates both drama and conflict: beef.” To put a finer point on this term, The Notorious B.I.G. and 2Pac had beef. On a track entitled “What’s Beef,” the former expanded thusly:
What’s beef?
Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep
Beef is when your mom’s ain’t safe up in the streets
Beef is when I see you
Guaranteed to be in ICU [intensive care unit]
One more time
What’s beef?
Beef is when you make your enemies start your Jeep
Beef is when you roll no less than thirty deep
Beef is when I see you
Guaranteed to be in ICU, check it (Yeah)
Reportedly, both B.I.G. and 2Pac died as a result of their hip hop beef. For a much older representation of beef, one could consider U.S. fascination with the Hatfield–McCoy feud which was alluded to in Mark Twain’s 1884 novel Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
Also, as a child, I was taught the biblical story of Isaac and Ishmael who were said to have been the sons of Abraham and who are considered prophets in their respective religions – with Isaac representing Jewish people of Hebrew faith and Ishmael relating to Arab people of Islamic faith.
Even if one were to reject biblical storytelling, the 2023 Israel–Hamas war – now conveniently named the “Gaza war” in Wikipedia – arguably has deep religious-based meaning for those of Hebrew and Islamic faiths. This ancient beef was said to have been predicted in the Bible.
Although I’m not a fan of Cardi B’s music (at all!!), Blanca is. Relevant to the current post, I understand that in 2016, the rapper released her debut mixtape Gangsta Bitch Music, Vol. 1 which featured the track “Foreva.” Repeating the following lines twice, the chorus states:
Ran down on that bitch twice
Ran down on that bitch twice
You know me, I be with whatever
If a bitch beef with me, we gon’ beef forever
I meet Blanca where she is when attempting to help her with various problems. This means that offering assistance in the direct form of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) techniques may not necessarily serve as the most effective approach when advocating self-help strategies.
For some in my personal and professional life, I find that virtually being where people are may include taking things to a hood level whereby I’ll use Ebonics or code-switching, drop a number of explicative terms, or use crass humor when sharing psychoeducational lessons.
Noteworthy, I demonstrate this approach to well-being throughout my Hip Hop and REBT blog category. Additionally, the method of mental health practice I favor relates to a humanistic perspective which aligns with practice of REBT.
This means that I use personal anecdotes, also referred to as use of self, in order to virtually meet people where they are. As an example, I write and speak about my past involvement with gangs – although I maintain that I was never a validated gang member (hello, feds, you’re unwelcome).
Part of the reason for this self-disclosure is to demonstrate that I’m not coming from a plastic place of supposed perfection – a trap into which I’ve observed far too many of my fellow mental health practitioner colleagues fall. As such, I relate more to a gutter than glamour lifestyle.
I know what it’s like to beef forever. I know the irrevocable consequences of irrational beliefs. My knowledge, wisdom, and understanding about mental health doesn’t stem form pretentious academic environments, pompous research projects, or self-righteous industry practices.
Thus, regarding those who are accustomed to hip hop culture, I keep it thorough when virtually meeting people where they are at. Once that connection is established, we can then discuss the process of self-disturbance and how beefin’ wit’ people foreva may not be the way to go.
Perhaps you’ve tried seeking help from artificial mental health practitioners and have realized that although they may mean well, they may not understand the beef about which you self-disturb. I get it. I wouldn’t rely on many of my professional peers either.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website. I can keep it thorough while virtually meeting you where you’re at.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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