Bad Words

[DISCLAIMER]

Photo credit, fair use

In the 2013 black comedy film Bad Words, directed by and starring Jason Bateman, Guy Trilby discovers a loophole in the rules for spelling bee participation that allows adults to compete against children. When seeking to take revenge for a perceived past wrong, hilarity ensues.

Throughout the movie, Trilby (played by Bateman) issues scathing remarks to his child competitions, as I laughed quite a bit at how ridiculous his behavior was. Now, I consider the film through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

This psychotherapeutic modality uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption and not the occurrence itself that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

Rather than upsetting yourself with such personal narratives, you can use Disputation of these attitudes in order to seek more Effective new beliefs which can instead be used. With this method of addressing self-disturbance, bad words can have no impact on you whatsoever.

When working with clients, I advocate frequent use of the ABC model. Typically, those who report the most self-disturbance describe Actions regarding which clients maintain unhelpful Beliefs that cause unpleasant Consequences stemming from words used by intimate partners.

This matter is addressed in the book Creative Marriage, as one of the two authors of the text discusses a male client who experiences fear concerning what potential female partners may say to or about him. The author argues (page 151):

Granted that Edith or some other woman could criticize or reject you, would that criticism or rejection actually harm you, in any way whatever, unless you made it harmful, unless you said to yourself ‘Oh, my God. How terrible it is that she is criticizing me or rejecting me. I can’t stand this. How awful!’?”

Italicized in that paragraph are two of four major irrational beliefs. First, the author highlights awfulizing (i.e., “terrible” and “awful”) which serves as a self-disturbing personal narrative which tends to over exaggerate the level of undesirability regarding an activating event.

Second, the author uses low frustration tolerance (i.e., “I can’t stand this”) which is a self-upsetting narrative that’s used to unhelpfully convince oneself that an activating event is literally intolerable. In the case of the author’s client, “criticism or rejection” stem from bad words.

The author continues, “You hurt you—as a human being always does when he is harmed by the words, gestures, or attitudes (as distinguished from the actual physical blows) of others,” and, “What you do to yourself you can not do to yourself” (page 152). Thus, you control the hurt.

Noteworthy, I’ve used “bad words” herein as a matter of communicating in a manner familiar to many people. In actuality, there are no truly bad words. When people rate expressions in this way, it’s as though they’re creating a situation in which words can actually harm them.

However, I ask, have words ever been able to harm you? Think of the one word you maintain as the most “bad” of them all. Can it actually hurt you? Now, consider what I stated in a blogpost entitled Of Sticks, Stones, Rubber, and Glue:

Raised in the cohort of Generation X, I often heard axioms such as, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” and, “I’m rubber, you’re glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”

Were the axiomatic expressions of my youth incorrect? Of course not! Shit, piss, cunt, fuckboy, bitch, nigger, kike, slut, dick, and faggot are all mere words. You may view them as hateful, harmful, or otherwise bad, yet they hold no power over you unless you choose to self-disturb.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Ellis, A. and Harper, R. A. (1961). Creative Marriage. The Institute For Rational Living, Inc. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/creative-marriage-e184052310.html

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2023, April 22). Control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Of sticks, stones, rubber, and glue. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/of-sticks-stones-rubber-and-glue

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

IMDb. (n.d.). Bad Words [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2170299/

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Bad Words (film). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Words_(film)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Jason Bateman. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Bateman